Welcome to Gaia! ::

I sometimes wonder what being Bisexual actually means for me, as a 30 year old man in a committed, monogamous, heteronormative relationship. I began to realize that my same-sex attraction wasn't something I could just shrug off around 2009, and that's about the time I met the woman who would become my fiance.

I came out a few months ago, to her first. She is my fiance, and my closest friend in the world. And she's been extremely supportive. In fact, outside of a couple remarks from people at work, most people are. I'm in a pretty progressive place in this regards.

But I also feel that the reason it's easy for me is because I'm with a woman. I've never been with a man, and likely never will be at this point. I've had Gay and Bi Men tell me that I'm not Bisexual for this reason as well. The craziest thing was hearing a family member- one of the more progressive people in my already liberal family ask me why I even came out in the first place.

I'm not exactly looking for advice, but I do want to talk to people who maybe have had some experiences like this. I came out because yes, it is part of my identity, and I didn't want to deny it. But I'm also just sorta confused by this aspect of me and how it relates to those around me as well.

I think you're allowing other people to interfere with your happiness. Just because you've never been with another guy doesn't make you straight. That's like those people who think I can't really be gay because I've never been with a woman. No, I am the only person who gets to define my sexuality. That's the problem with people. They feel like they get to tell you what you are or aren't. I say, ******** em. As the great Rupaul says, "Unless they're paying your bills pay those bitches no mind!" If you feel like you're bisexual then you are. It doesn't matter if you never explore that part of your sexuality. It's just a fraction of who you are, and if you're happy with a woman then that's all that matters.