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 Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:19 am
I decided to start this one because I am always curious about what good things happened and hardships came about when you told people you were pregnant. I also thought it might be a good place for people to ask advice about what is the best way to tell your parents. I have seen tons of those threads and I am sure we all have some practical advice we can give that made it easier for us. I know it was a frightening thing for all of us but we have all gotten passed that place so its easier to help others.
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Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:35 am
Ok so since its my thread I will start..........
My husband (fiance) and I were together when I took the test, I thought that the test line was first and when he read the box apparantly it wasnt. Our conversation went somthing like this....
I started crying and said
"I dont want to ruin your life so you dont have to stay with me if you dont want too"
I will never forget his reply
"The only way you could ruin my life is to not be in it" I repeat that now and I cry I love him so much.
We waited a few weeks to tell our parents and we decided our tactic would be to both show them we had considered everything and were going to take care of this new life ourselves as well as let them react individually. (Anyone who has 2 married parents knows they react as a pair and both sets of our parents are still married)
SO we told them in order of reaction best first worst last and our predictions were pretty accurate
My mom....Cried said she was scared for me and then took me to babies r us.
My Dad.....Was calm and not mad at all and said "I have one question, Have you thought about all your options?" We said yes and that we had definatly decided to keep and he said "ok I am behind you 100%"
His Mom....Cried and said she didnt know what to do or say
His dad.... I wasn't present because Justin was afraid that his father would get aggressive at me and call me names. It was apparantly pretty bad and when they had calmed down Justin said somthing to him and told me later that made me cry again "Does it make any difference to you that I love her"and his dad said it did
Our tactic of showing them what we were doing to prepare was we made up a notebook with my diet doctors information medicaid and wic stuff, Ultrasound pictures our budget plan to save for when he came. All sorts of stuff, they all very much appreciated it. Things stayed rocky with justin's dad until the baby was born and now Jake is the center of the universe and I am sure he probably regrets anything bad he ever said.
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Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:11 am
With the first pregnancy Everyone was concerned to varying degrees. Especially since the pregnancy was planned - They thought we were PLANNING to ruin our futures.
My husband and I had been married for three years, and were going into our senior year of college, I was 20 he was 21 (I turned 21 while pregnant). My Mom and Dad were in WA we were in FL, So my mom first asked a lot of questions, about money and school and how we were going to finish up, and how we were going to work it out. After I answered all her questions adequately both her and my dad were pleased and happy and excited and proud.
Hubs. Mom was more concerned, constantly made it known that she was a little disappointed, instead of keeping her fears to herself she let us know all the time that this was a bad decision and that we should rethink it, etc. etc.
Now Hubs. Stepdad was LIVID. And became a total a*****e.
A little background Hubs. older sister had a baby young and on "accident" and she lived with MIL and S-FIL and was basically constantly supported by them and S-FIL resented it, yadda. At the time we were living in a trailer owned by MIL and S-FIL and just paying the lot rent on it. AND Hubs. was working for S-FIL at his and MIL hardwood flooring business. Well we got our own nice big one bedroom and THAT also made him nuts thinking HE would end up having to pay our rent...etc.
Well then he started to treat Hubs like total s**t while on the job. Just being a complete jerk and yelling and screaming and being a huge stressball. He even said something to the effect of "This is just like (hubs sister) what if something happens to Hubs.?" Which when I found out and told my mom, needless to say my father and brother were seeing red. Dad was like "AS IF I'D LEAVE MY DAUGHTER AND ONLY/FIRST GRANDCHILD DOWN THERE WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!" heh.
But we never were late or had problems paying our rent EVER and we were even more autonomous from MIL and S-FIL than ever before. So nyah.
Now, MIL signs cards from them "Grandma and Poppa" which my children, especially my oldest will NEVER call him Poppa, they will call him by his name. Because 1. he came into Hubs. life well after Hubs was old enough to consider him a father at all. Hubs. has never referred to him as even Stepfather, he calls him by his name. and 2. You don't get to be a total jerk to my husband and me for nine months and then be all "Oh that's my grand daughter!" nope.
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Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 6:06 pm
I was a ball of tears.
I had just been married for 2 weeks and my husband had been gone for boot camp for 1 week. Oh how difficult it seemed back then. I was late, took the tests, was practically dizzy I couldn't believe it.
Of course, I couldn't call him or tell him. On autopilot, I drove to his best friend's house (this was late at night and he was the only person I knew who would be up) with the intent to talk to his girlfriend, a girl, a woman, a mother.
Instead, he opened the door and I burst into tears. He was bewildered and patted me. He asked, "What did he do?!" It wasn't that we fought a lot, but his friend was always a good person to vent to and get advice regarding that. I told him, "He got me pregnant." To which he was speechless there for a moment. I do recall that he kept mentioning abortion, but while I was upset, I knew it wasn't something I could do.
I was just so nervous and scared about what he would say, think. We had talked kids, but of course not in the near future by any means. He had a son from when he was 17 that was unplanned and I didn't know how this was going to go.
Fate, or whatever you believe in stepped in and somehow he was able to call me from boot camp the very next day. I blurted it out to him in tears, trying not to cry.
Without hesitation, with resolve and strength he says: "I want it." It was like a weight had been lifted off of my chest and it firmed my resolve this was a child of love and meant to be, even if it wasn't the easy way.
He got out for a week break from boot camp for Christmas. Of course, he couldn't WAIT to tell his parents. My MIL burst into tears and hugged me, my FIL grinned and they were happy for us. It was almost unreal how sweet it is.
My own family was like "Eh, ok." My mother just smirked, making a joke about that was quick after we got married. My father grunted, made some wisecracks, and that was that.
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:43 pm
Wow....*teary eyes* It makes me happy to hear your stories. You are all so strong! I don't know what I'd do if I were pregnant. I've been afraid that I was in the past and started getting feelings like I just wanted to run away so no one could be ashamed or mad or hate me for it, and no one could try and make me abort (because even if it is unplanned, it would not be unwanted).
...I *HAVE* however, talked this over with my fiance many times in the three years we've been together. Every so often, while waiting for my period, we talk about it, and he always reassures me, and I know that he's not bullshitting me, so it's even better.
Knowing that the one you love will stay with you, fight for you, and support you is the most precious thing.
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:56 am
Well, I have no pregnancy-stories to share with you guys myself,
but I could tell you how my parents told their family:
My mom and dad already knew that my mom was pregnant, and they were about to go on a holiday. So they went, and send nice holiday cards to their familymembers.
They didn't write anything special in the message itself, they only ended with:
Love,
'mom', 'dad', and.......
mad D The whole family had to wait to talk to them until they got back. whee
After they did, they were all very excited and happy, because my parents had been trying to get a baby for over 5 years then.
So yay! xD
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