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[Promo Collection] WWFG Stuff

Cartwright

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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 2:25 pm

Cartwright KOTC Winner Promo 08/08/13

Quote:

The crowd chats away during a toilet break between matches on the show. It's been a great show so far, we just got to see Fandango in a match! He had an amazing entrance, full of dancing and people 'Fandangoing' as the WWE calls it, which totally killed it by the way. Fandangoing, it must have took those amazing creative minds at WWE HQ months to come up with such a creative name for something that the fans created themselves! Mrs. Fandango also needs to stop posting Instagram photos of herself in toilets, it's very silly. Anyway, the crowd is chatting to each other as I wrote earlier because it is true when suddenly the lights go out, shocking everyone and causing many fans to faint in shock at the sight of nothingness.

A drum roll is heard as a spotlight pans across on to the entrance to the arena as if something amazing is about to happen. The drum roll stops. The spotlight goes out. More nothingness. It's like looking into the heart of Vince McMahon. Suddenly, the arena lights come on and there, standing in the ring because the spotlight was a swerve, is Cartwright! The crowd goes into a frenzy of cheers for him, like absolutely bananas. Women are orgasmic about this and the men have jizzed their pants. All the kids are buying Cartwright merchandise instantly. It's quite a sight.

Cartwright looks very happy with the reaction, mostly because of the pound signs that have appeared in his eyes from all the kids buying his crap. Cartwright is wearing an amazingly sparkly golden robe that covers his entire body, leaving only his face uncovered. He looks around at the fans all over the arena who are jumping up and down, giddy with excitement as if Jesus was in the ring right now. Well Cartwright has news for them, he's bigger than Jesus! He's the WWFG King of the Canvas Winner! That makes him God around here! He is given a microphone by the ring announcer as the crowd starts chanting his name.

Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"

See I told you they chanted his name. I ain't making this stuff up. It all happened. For real. Seriously.

Cartwright: "Here I am! Your King of the Canvas! I've been on an amazing roll since entering the King of the Canvas tournament and it's all been thanks to you nutters around the world who have continued to support me! Thanks to you all I made it to the finals, against Draze, at WRESTLEMANIA! That's a big deal! It was one Hell of a tough match! We took each other to our limits in order to win that match, neither man wanted to quit! That's how important the King of the Canvas was to us! But thanks to a well-timed Cartwright Crush Leg Drop, I finally managed to keep him down for three seconds! Following the win, I even defeated your current Undisputed Champion Dion on the last show! I'm feeling the energy and the momentum, big things are happening right now for me here in WWFG! I'm having the time of my life! Now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for! It's time for me to be officially crowned as YOUR King of the Canvas! Now I don't want to alarm you all but the last couple of times this happened, I went a little crazy. But this time, I promise you, I....I....I'M GONNA GO EVEN CRAZIER!!!!"

Crowd: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Cartwright: "Now somebody come out here and give me a crown! That's why I'm here! I've already had to wait a show longer for it as it is! What kind of unprepared company starts a royal tournament but doesn't have a crown ready for the winner?! Poor effort guys! Poor effort! I demand a crown as shiny and gold as the robe that I am wearing right now in this very ring! Only the best for me because I am your king! I worked for it and I deserve it! I...."

Cartwright sighs and the crowd boos as Cartwright's most hated enemy of all time, the pet loving cameraman who tries to steal his glory, comes down to the ring with a Christmas cracker and his pet rabbit in each of his hands. Like what the hell is wrong with this guy? The arsehole. Probably trying to steal some spotlight again. The p***k. Cartwright is fumed.

CM: "Don't worry my king, I have a crown ready for you! It's in this cracker! I'm just so proud of you! I remember when I gave birth to you, thinking you would spend your life cleaning toilets with your head like I did when I was a lad. But look at what you have achieved! Now you are a King! Just...words can not describe how happy I am! I remember when I was training you, teaching you the ropes, as I was also your trainer. I gave you your first magical orange and your love of my pets is what spurred you on to being the man that you are right now!"

Cartwright: "LIES! ALL LIES! YOU DID NOTHING FOR ME! GET LOST! YOU'RE CRAZY!"

CM: "Oh so this is the thanks I get for all the blood, sweat and tears that I put into your tea over the years we've known each other to power you up?! You should be thanking me! Without me, you'd be nothing! You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me! You wouldn't have won anything! In fact, I should be the King of the Canvas! I did everything for you while you sat on your arse filming the shows and talking to your pets!"

Cartwright: "******** OFF!"

CM: "That's it! I have had enough of your lack of gratitude. I didn't want to do this but you leave me with no other option. It's time for me to teach you a lesson that you will never forget and that is to respect your master. Now I must KILL what I created! Fluffy, attack the ugly, crooked toothed limey b*****d! Remember I'm doing this out of love, you stupid piece of cracker white trash scum!"

Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The cameraman throws the rabbit at Cartwright. The rabbit lands on Cartwright's face, It begins to bite away furiously at Cartwright's face as he screams in pain and falls to the mat. He puts his hands on the rabbit, trying to pull it off. Cartwright rolls around the ring with the rabbit biting away at his face as the crazy cameraman laughs maniacally at his evil plot succeeding. Cartwright gets back to his feet and punches away at the rabbit. Unfortunately this means Cartwright is also punching himself in the face. Cartwright collapses on the mat again and lies motionless on the mat. The rabbit falls off Cartwright's face as both are now knocked out. The crowd throws crap at the cameraman. The cameraman grabs his possibly dead rabbit, throws the cracker at Cartwright and then heads to the back to chant of....

Crowd: "******** OFF! ******** OFF! ******** OFF!"

Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 2:28 pm

New Champion for the Era of Change! 12/11/13

Quote:

Oh I can see them run 'bout the town.
I can hear them all saaaaaaay,
Ba-ba-da-ba-boom!
Do-wa-do-wa!
Listen to the music!
I-do-I-do-I-do!
Do-wa-do-wa!
Listen to the music!
I-do-I-do-I-do!

Bout The City by Reps hits the arena, which causes the crowd to explode with cheers as the 2013 King Of The Canvas Winner and the NEW WWFG Undisputed Champion Cartwright enters the arena in a gold glitter robe and gold glitter tights. He displays the WWFG Undisputed Championship proudly around his waist as he high fives the fans.

Announcer: "Please welcome your NEW WWFG Undisputed Champion......CAAAAAAAAAARTWRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

Cartwright looks happy as he continues to ride his huge wave of momentum, which started since he entered the King of the Canvas tournament many months ago and all the way into and beyond Wrestlemania. It appears that Cartwright is a Face that the fans can truly believe in and get behind with his huge success. He says that he will do something and he gets the job done. Stone Cold Steve Austin and CM Punk would be proud. Cartwright enters the ring and poses in the center of it with the Undisputed Championship for the benefit of those with flash photography. He asks for and receives a microphone from he ringside crew.

Cartwright: "It feels so good to be out here in-front of everyone as YOUR WWFG Undisputed Champion!"

Cartwright raises the title up above his head as the crowd cheers and chants his name.

Cartwright: "We have been on one hell of a journey together everyone! When I returned to WWFG, I met a crazy Irish fellow called Jacob Figgins! We united to become Team Insane and we soared up the tag division like the studly, masculine eagles that we are and we swooped on some tag team gold! Figgy found himself being thrown out of the door to end the team, he got fired! That was a sad time! I guess maybe he was a little too crazy for WWFG...or they had enough of him going on about Hello Kitty!"

Cartwright tuts as he sees as a sign in the crowd that has a picture of the Hello Kitty on it.

Cartwright: "But from the ashes of Team Insane came the rebirth of Cartwright! Like a soaring phoenix, I entered the King Of The Canvas tournament, the final was held at Wrestlemania and I won it for a record-breaking third time! That huge win allowed me to challenge Dion for the championship that I now wear with pride right now! I hope Dion is doing alright, I mean, our match was not a normal match! It was a Scaffold Match! I had to throw Dion off of the scaffold platform, down into the ring below where he crashed through a series of tables! It didn't look like a fun way to spend a Sunday evening from where I was stood, which was above him, as the referee handed me a big, shiny gold title!"

Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"

Cartwright: "WWFG is supposed to be entering a new era! The Era of Change! By looking at me, you could say that the change is happening already! It's an exciting time to be a part of WWFG and an exciting time to be WWFG Undisputed Champion! I looked at the past, so let's look towards the future. Dion, whenever you are ready, you deserve your rematch. You were a great champion, but the next time we meet, let's see what we can do without a gimmick like the scaffold in the way. Looking to the future I know somebody who can strike at any moment, and that man is Salem Croft."

The crowd boos at the mention of Salem's name.

Cartwright: "Salem, you hold the Money in the Bank briefcase. You must be watching my every move, waiting for the perfect time to cash-in on me. I want you to know that it doesn't matter when you try to cash-in on me, it's going to take more than you can ever dish-out to take the WWFG Undisputed Championship away from me. You moaned earlier about how WWFG doesn't feel like your home anymore. You moaned about how you never made it into the "Power 10" rankings. You even moaned that you won a Rookie of the Year award, something that you was voted to receive by some of the greatest wrestlers of all time! Talk about being ungrateful! I think you should stop moaning and do something about it. You want WWFG to be your home? You want to get into those rankings so badly? You want to be seen as more than just a rookie? I know what you are thinking right now. You think that you can solve these problems by becoming the WWFG Undisputed Champion. I dare you, I DARE YOU, to try and cash-in on me. Because when you do, you will fail, and while everyone here tonight will forever remember you as a once great rookie, I will be remembered as the greatest and most charismatic WWFG Undisputed Champion of all time!"

Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"

Cartwright: "Finally, I have something to say to my challenger next week for the WWFG Undisputed Championship, Boxer Anarchy. Boxer, congratulations on becoming the number one contender. I know what you are capable of from our brief time together in Chaos Unleashed....I still think the name Perfect Chaos sounds better mind you! Or maybe Crazy Chaos....Chaotic Chaos.....Chips and Chaos....anyway! I know how you work, I know your style, I know how you are going to approach our match. BUT! You have nooooo idea what I will be thinking or what I will do! You can't read the mind of somebody who doesn't know what they are going to do themselves! You fancy yourself as being a demon, a devil, an anarchist....but all you will be following our match is my b***h!"

Quote:

Nico Vega - Beast of America

Suddenly the crowd was graced with an unfamiliar song. Expecting either Boxer or Salem to be the ones to appear, the music caused some confusion amongst the audience members. Soon enough however, the crowd would be given sanctuary from obliviousness as the Bird of Prey came walking out from the back to his new entrance music. The Era of Change as brought about what it was meant to, change, some obvious and others subtle. With a mic in hand Talon walked out to a loud mixed reaction, stopping at the top of the stage. Giving time for the crowd and music to die down Talon scanned the arena, before locking his eyes on his opponent for later tonight. Once it was quiet enough Talon took a moment to gather his thoughts, and then began to speak.

"Before this gets any further, let me start by laying to rest any ideas you people, or anyone in the back might have about me being out here. I am not out here to stake a claim at your title Carty boy, so your reign is safe, for now..."

The crowd let out a mixed reaction, not to sure how to take the statement, many wanted Talon to continue the chase, while others thought he lost his chance when he lost the MITB.

"However! I am out here to address this 'Era of Change'."

Talon said with quotation mark gestures. Again getting mixed reactions from the crowd.

"I don't see it... I don't see this 'Change' everyone is talking about. I don't see anything out of the ordinary, it's the same s**t, just a different pile. When Chrono implemented this 'Era of Change' I was expecting new faces to be standing behind those titles, and sitting behind those desks."

Talon said as he pointed to Cartwright, and then behind him towards the back.

"Instead we have a relic holding the title, and the same two people for the past 3 years calling the shots! One of them seems to be losing his touch with age, while the other whores himself out to any form of power in any federation that would offer it to him. This isn't 'Change'..."

Talon was now pacing back and forth across the stage, as he ranted about F:G's current predicament.

"That night when Chrono commanded, nay, demanded for change... The night before, I was screwed out of it by a man I thought I could call a friend, Hiro. I had it in the palm of my hand, literally! After I cashed in I could of changed this place for the better. I could of made this place something great... Well I've come out here to inform you.."

Talon said pointing to Cartwright with a stern expression.

"And all of you, and everyone in the back, that even though a back stabber, and Demon that knows nothing will not derail me from my mission. I will bring change. I may not have that proverbial instrument of change in my hands, but rest assure after tonight, nothing will be same, and everything will change.."

With that Talon slowly lowered the mic, then began to slowly back up. The crowd was giving off a mixed reaction, some of what he had said was true, while others were just marks. After a moment or two, Talon spun around and disappeared to the back.

Quote:

Just as the crowd was beginning to mutter about the ramblings of Cartwright and Talon, a feed would cut out to the parking lot, where a familiar Corvette could be seen pulling into the arena, and out of it climbed none other then The man known only as Angel. He would walk up to the closest camera man and would stare into the lens as he began to speak.

"Cartwright, first off congrats on winning the WWFG Undisputed Title, it's gotta feel really good...standing on the top of the heal once again, while guys l Iike me and my brother don't even get the decency of having our contracts negotiated, and we have to be repeatedly subjected to the team of Knight and whoever the management sees fit to pair us up against. Well quite frankly I am sick of it, because I know that there are people in the front office out to hold me back, but unlike what Jarel thinks, he is not the only WWFG Original still walking the halls around here, because I too, have been here since the start of this once great federation. I have faced and beaten some of the greatest names in this federation.vEdge, Randy Orton, Maverick, GBL, Matt Draven, all who are former champions. Heck I have even beaten you a time or two over the years, and you the same too me. But why am I here rambling you ask, well thats simple. I am currently unsigned to WWFG, and am in need of some damn competition. But seeing as management has still been yet to discover another tag team that we havent already beat, I issue a challenge to you sir. A challenge for a non-title match, just so I can show some of the people in management that they are overlooking a major piece of talent they have on their roster when I make sure your first night as Champ is also one of the worst you have the entire time you have rhe belt. So what do you say, I'm dressed to compete if you're up for an assbeating....."

Angel would listen for Carts answer through an earpiece...

Quote:

Cartwright is surprised to see Angel on the titantron, considering that he has no business with the man or with WWFG since he bailed on the company for some reason. Cartwright has been too busy winning, chasing gold and celebrating to notice much else going on around him. WWFG is Cartwright!

Cartwright: "Well, thank you for the congratulations Angel. It does indeed feel amazing to have made it to the top again and to prove to everyone and to myself that I can still compete at such a high level! The moral of the story is that hard work has its rewards after all kids! And thank you for interrupting my promo time! I really appreciate that! Now I must point something out to you. You are unsigned to WWFG, so what the hell are you doing here? We can't have a 'quick' match, but if we did it would be a quick match as I would be done kicking your arse in three seconds! Why are you even on the titantron? Don't you have anything else to do with your newly found free time? Don't you have a new job to be working at? Like serving fries at McDonalds? Come on man, you're late for your evening shift! You're dressed to compete when you should be in your uniform! Where's your apron and hairnet? We wouldn't want to see you getting struck by hot oil as you throw the chips into the fryer now do we?! Look at you, all greased up, ready to wrestle! That can't be baby oil that you are caked-in, but it is you being economical and reusing the fat from the fryer! Fair play to you for doing that Angel, life is hard for everyone right now! Got to save those pennies where you can!"

Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"

Cartwright smiles as he awaits the response from the Angel of the Deep Fat Fryer.

Quote:

"Oh, thats cute, but you see when I left WWFG, I took something that was pretty important to the people upstairs in management..."

Angel would hoist the tag team title in front of the camera, and would smile before continuing on.

"You see, despite the fact that they nearly let my contract expire, management was quick to offer me an extension through EOC 3 while we they to come to terms on an agreement that is suitable to both parties involved. Which means until then...since I dont have to defend tonight, I figured why not come out and kick the s**t out of a loud mouthed, overconfident Bristish Piece of s**t."

Angel would be making his way through the arena as he spoke, and would pause briefly by the office of the head of talent relations, where he would take a moment to sign a document, right about the time he was talking about his extension. He would then continue toward the arena, before making his way out onto the stage.

"But you know I am not just in the arena, I am right here on this stage, and I know I have what it takes to come down there and beat you right now, should you be man enough to accept."

Angel would lower the mic and await the answer of The Talented One.

Quote:

Cartwright motions for him to come on down, the crowd cheering with approval.

Cartwright: "Enough talk from you, you little fairy! Get your sour arse out here so I can kick it in front of my millions of fans right here, right now! I'll stick your cheap, plastic halo right up where the sun doesn't shine and clip your wings free of charge too! I'm going to kick you so hard that you fly all the way up into Heaven, fall back down as the Lord above laughs at your misfortune and you land straight into your least favorite deep fat fryer! If you smell what the Angel is cooking! 'Cause he sure does!"

Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"

The WWFG Undisputed Champion fears nobody, especially runaway wannabe rebellious Christians! He's so much of a rebel that he has already signed back up with The Man he was trying to rebel against! Sound logic!

Cartwright

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Cartwright's Curry Corner of Memories

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