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[E] Dalyell Viltiny [ACCEPTED]

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Rapidashtrainer

PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:04 am


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CAMPER FORM



Name: Dalyell Viltiny *
Alias: Dall, Yeller (he hates this)
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Powers: [pyrokinesis]
Aura: Red [#cd0000], low frequency, yellow [#eec81b]

Appearance:


“Any slicker and he’ll be solving the world’s oil problem” someone was once heard to remark.

The best way to describe Dalyell’s appearance would be “slick or (if politeness is an issue)well groomed”. Taught from an early age that first impressions are really really important, you would be hard pressed to find Dalyell with so much as a hair out of place. Equipped with tall lanky legs, Dalyell’s default movements would be to stride across most terrain (except where striding is impossible; for example;- a vertical wall).

Tall for his age (170 cm) , Dalyell can usually be found standing towards the back of any group photos. “To accommodate my vertically challenged friends”

Personality: Dalyell appears to be equipped with the kind of confidence only the truly rich can afford. Believing that he can buy his way out of most things, Dalyell is not above paying another camper to do his chores for him or to have small luxuries (e.g: candy, toys, comfy sweet smelling pajamas) sent to him on a regular basis from home.

Despite his confidence, Dalyell is plague with a minor case of obsessive compulsive behavior; such as washing his hands five times after using the lavatory, a barely hidden disgust for anything gross (think booger, earwax and tossed used underwear)and the need to constantly check and recheck his bag, cupboard, wallet, room…etc.; to make sure that nothing is left behind or that everything that needs to be locked up is locked up. Dalyell will readily admit that the start of this affliction occurred when his family had his grandmother over one summer. A formidable lady, his grandmother would constantly utter the phrase “Cleanliness is next to godliness” while watching her grandchildren soap and scrub their hands by the washbasin before every meal. Hands that were not cleaned properly had to be rewashed.

Being the youngest of five children (two older brothers and two older sisters), Dalyell is used to having things go his way and easily loses his temper when things do not. When Dalyell was younger, temper tantrums were common. His siblings started calling him “yeller” because of the screaming and yelling that usually followed his stomping and kicking. While he is in his nasty mood, it is best to just leave him alone until he tire himself out.

While he can be a brat, a snitch, a braggart and generally an all round pain in the neck (he expects the other campers in his group to do most of the physical labour), Dalyell can be carelessly generous with his friends. Having grown up without the worries of a tight budget, Dalyell sees no harm in sharing his care packages from home with the other campers. Perhaps this is why no one has thrown him into the local pond…yet.

Strong determination might be another of Dalyell’s plusses. This young camper believes that anything is possible, if only one were to concentrate enough on one’s task. That was how his dad had made it to the top and he sees no reason why this tried and true method would fail in any other situations.

In the face of authoritative figures (namely strong authoritative figures), Dalyell pretty much holds his tongue (but that does not mean that he won’t stick his tongue out at them behind their backs). Some grumbling and nasty glances might be thrown at them but Dalyell, for the most part, will follow instructions.


History:

Dalyell comes from a well to do family of fine glass makers. His father, Dalyell Sr. was responsible for turning the family’s small glass making business to one of international acclaim. Riding on the fruits of success, the Viltiny children were brought up wanting nothing and probably learning the shrewed ways of conducting a really successful enterprise (such as “...take advantage of the situation. The first to react is almost always the trend-setter,”; “Compromise is the last thing you should aim for when discussing a deal,” and; “Everything has a price. You just need to find the price tag,"

Oddly enough, Dalyell’s powers were not awakened in the sweltering hot forge where fine glasses were made but rather at a family’s barbeque party when he was seven. Young Dalyell was intrigued by the red hot heat of the barbeque pit and the flickering of flames as it roasted chunks of raw meat. Naturally, he was not permitted anywhere near the fiery range and was sent to play with the other children.

Imagine the surprise his mother had when she checked on him several minutes later. There was young Dalyell standing in a ring of amazed faces as he held what seemed to be a flaming paper napkin in his hand.

Panicking, Dalyell’s mum had rushed over to see if her child was hurt but…oddly enough, Dalyell was not. After several minutes of questioning, it was learnt that Dalyell, unhappy at being denied the chance to play with fire, had sulkily grabbed a wad of paper napkins with the intention of tearing them up (and thus creating a rebellious mess). What occurred instead was unexpected even to young Dalyell himself.

The napkins had suddenly combusted.

Surprised, Dalyell repeated this with another wad of paper napkins.

Then another.

And another.

After the first wad of napkins had disintegrated, Dalyell had proceeded to amaze the other kids with more flammable napkins. That was when his mom had walked in.

Naturally, his family was stunned but that did not hold them back for long. After all, psychics were not totally unheard of and there were many books (religious/fantasy/fairy-tale....what have you) about people with special abilities; so to the Viltinies (at least), Dalyell’s psychic ability did not come with much gnashing of teeth or beating of breast with despair.

Actually, being the supportive parents that they were, they encouraged Dalyell to develop his skill in what they hope was a responsible fashion (“No spontaneously combusting the cat or you will not get your allowance young man,”). Dalyell Sr. even had a room fireproofed for his son to practice his fire making skill (with supervision!) while his mother sought various self help books for Dalyell to read. Books of rather Asian origins such as “controlling you inner chi”, “Earth, Fire, Water and Wood. How do these elements help you maintain inner balance”.

But realizing that (after a few years)** their son could only progress so much on his own (Dalyell could now set sticks on fire), the Viltinies, after much asking around (through a friend who knows a friend, who knows a friend, who knows someone) had sent their child to Majesco Psychic Academy with the hope of him being able to better utilize and develop his potential there.

Dalyell, for the most part, was pretty accepting of the whole ordeal. After all, being able to conjure up fire was definitely a sort of bragging right amongst his peers and it was either psychic camp (where you are able to learn how to manipulate your skill like a superhero) or regular boarding school (where you learn how to flick a wet spit ball at the back of your classmate’s head).




* Dalyell was an alternative spellinig for Dalziel (which I thought sounded pretty cool from a book). Viltiny was....something that happened on the spur of the moment.

**Mostly because: a) they were unsure if this was a permanent thing (poltergeist-like activities around young children tend to dissipate as they grew older; at least that was what Mrs. Tanner; the neighbour, told Dalyell’s mother); b) Fire manipulation was starting to sound tedious and boring with all the “Dos and Don’ts” his parents were giving him. It was only after the arrival of “Flame on!”*** that Dalyell’s interest in developing his skill grew once more; c) They were secretly hoping that Dalyell would be one of those self-taught geniuses.

*** A fictional comic about a boy with fire manipulation powers


Note: Since it is a minor case of OCD, I doubt it would impair him much. Friends will probably not even notice it unless they are stalking him or something. Even if they do see him washing his hands, they’d probably think he’s one of those super- fussy type people.


PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:20 pm


*breathes heavily* I really liked this guy and am here to offer critique!

For starters, where does he get his nicknames? Does anyone in particular call him by these names, or are they just general things people pick up that he may or may not like?

I'm also curious as to how tall he is exactly!

Is there any reason for his obsessive compulsive behavior? I've known it to be one of two ways. Some people are just born like that. I'm that way personally. But in other cases something happened (such as my boyfriend's behavior towards keeping things clean and rules on leftovers due to growing up with a hoarder for a mother and being subjected to moldy food on a daily basis). Has he ever been teased for this behavior? If it's simply how he was born, is perhaps someone else in his family the same way?

When he loses his temper, how does he act? Does he react violently, yell, etc.?

You mention his sharing is probably the reason no one's thrown him in the pond. Do people not take to him very well? If not, why is that specifically? How does he get along with other kids?

What kind of relationship does Dalyell have with his parents? You also mention "the Viltiny children". Does that mean he has siblings? If so, how is he with them?

How does he feel about being a psychic? When you say that his parents wanted him to develop his skills responsibly, did they guide him in any way, or just let him do his own thing? Seven is a really young age to really be able to handle fire responsibly. Did they look into other options, ways for him to get guidance since they, not being pyschic, wouldn't have an idea of how to handle it? Why did it take them six years to finally send him to camp?

When he discovered his powers, did he ever abuse them, flaunt them at school, etc.? Did he keep things under wrap or continue on the way he did at the barbeque?

Very excited to see where you go with him! :D Congratulations as well. He's one of my favorites from the event.

Mushbee


Mind Over Matter Staff
Captain

Clean Smoker

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:37 am


Rapidashtrainer


Hi Rapid!

It's nice seeing the jersey devil out and about, hohoho.
There's just a few quick points we'd like to clarify with you here!

First off, this isn't actually crit, but Dalyell's names are quite unique! Do they have a particular origin or meaning? We're very curious~

Onto actual critique, please provide Dalyell with specific shades or (more importantly) hex codes for his aura. The aura colors are used for certing purposes so we wouldn't want to give you a color you are unhappy with!

We would like to know more about his personality; see if you can expand. How does he deal with others one on one or in groups? How does he respond to authority (such as the instructors he'll be dealing with at camp)? How is he when he loses his temper? How does he calm down? What sort of bratty behaviors does he have besides always wanting things to go his way?

Please explain his obsessive compulsion in more detail: is it because of how he was raised? Does it negatively impact his interactions or daily life?

In his history you mention that he is "probably" learning business ethics. That is a pretty important detail to be vague about, we think! Either he learned these skills or he didn't! If he did, please try to incorporate what he has learned into his personality and explain how it affects his outlook on life and interactions with others.

As a quick note, pyrokinesis does not provide resistance to flames! You mention that when he combusts the napkins there is no pain but if he were to be burned it would still hurt. Pyrokinesis just means control over fire so the rest of the event is accurate and fine!

For not having any psychic family or friends, Dalyell's parents are surprisingly understanding about his potentially VERY dangerous power. Why are they so quick to accept it? Did they give him any rules and restrictions about using it?

Were there any accidents while he was growing up after he first discovered this ability?

How did his parents find out about Murmuring Pines if they have no connection to other psychics? (There are websites and pamphlets but most of them are disguised unless you really know what to look for. If there isn't a feasible way for them to discover the facility, agents may also be sent out to provide information but typically this is in response to large scale psychic activity.)

"After a few years" is a big time skip with no development or updates about his powers. What did Dalyell do in that time? Did he practice? How did his friends feel about his powers after the BBQ?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:43 pm


Sorry for the delay. I have done the amendments as required.

Rapidashtrainer


Mind Over Matter Staff
Captain

Clean Smoker

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:19 am


DALYELL IS ACCEPTED!
Here is your journal, your full art and cert will be posted in the main thread and PM'd to you.


Rapidashtrainer
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