|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:15 pm
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Status:Tired
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Mood:Neutral
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Topic:First Entry ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉ENTRY:So, yeah! I just spent about 30 minutes on this post layout and now I am thoroughly worn out. I'll post a real entry tomorrow, when I actually have something to say. But, yeah, expect this journaldiary to be full of pretentious prose and copious amounts of whining. I am quite good at that.
Ta-ta. ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉CONCLUSION:I'm going to go to bed now. Or, soon, if I get distracted by something colorful and/or shiny.
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉TL;DR:First post, yadda yadda, I'm tired, bluh bluh, sleep time.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:14 pm
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Status:Worn Out
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Mood:Good
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Topic:Hectic Day; Featuring Both Stressors and Copious Amounts of DMMD Let's Plays and Swag ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉ENTRY:Well. I had a very interesting day. I am still very, very, very single, but that's not new.
I say interesting, but really it was pretty status quo. Between bi-curious jokes about fictional dudes and my palhoncho flicking water in my face while giggling the word "v****a" like a kindergartner, I did like I always do and rushed to do my homework the hour before it was due. I also have a commission I need to do. Hm.
On a non-school related note, I'm finally getting around to watching a very entertaining DMMD LP. Also, I've been working slowly but steadily on my lesbian supernatural coming-of-Age novel! So that's fun. And, on a more depressing note, I've been writing quite a bit of stupid poetry about my ex, who I'm obviously not over if seeing her profile causes me to have an emotional breakdown. Seriously. That was awful. 0/10. Do not recommend.
But, yeah. All in all, aside from depressing ex and family life, I'm doing swell. I don't know who I'm going to homecoming with yet, if anyone at all, but I don't think that will be a huge issue.
Anyway. Yeah. Fun stuff. ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉CONCLUSION:Same stuff as always. I'm going to go finish this commission and take pictures for an art assignment now. Maybe.
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉TL;DR:I'm very boring and DMMD.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 5:43 pm
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Status:Sickish and Tired
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Mood:FANTASTIC
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Topic:New Bae ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉ENTRY:Hello Journal sub-forum! In a shocking turn of events, Allyson is no longer a single-pringle!! Something I don't believe I've mentioned as of yet is that while im as homosexual as they come, I am panromantic. Which is useful info for the next part in this entry, which is that I asked out a boy. He likes dragons, plays a mellophone, and is just in general totally nice and awesome. Also an extreme like of bears is something we have in common! Also he listens and watches shows that I only mention liking in passing conversation, without me even having to beg! And he does stop-motion animation films with a mutual friend of ours, and I also love animation!! But, yeah. To be honest, I'm not sure how he'll react to my inability to feel sexual attraction to him, but I guess we'll see how it goes, since that point is way far off anyway. But yeah!!!
Also, I'm learning more and more HTML and CSS styles, so my coding skills are steadily rising. I also have a genius idea for my new art assignment!
Bad news for this week however; I've been walking the razor blade edge of sickness and I think I finally fell off. I feel awful, like I got hit by a truck. But, ehhhhh. It's not as bad as the 50 question packet I have for Biology II, which is the college class I'm taking. It sucks. I've barely even skimmed over the chapter and I'm already wanting to quit. I just wanna hang with bae!!! But, eh, yeah, whatever. razz ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉CONCLUSION:I'm putting off the homework I have until tomorrow and I'm also going to text bae all night and write Madoka femslash fanfiction.
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉TL;DR:New romantic-orientation bae, sick, homework, blahhhhh.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 5:44 pm
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Status:Queasy
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Mood:Disgustedly, Self-Hating-ly, Selfishly Horrid
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉Topic:Recent Happenings Having To Do With Certain Persons and Other Goings Ons ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉ENTRY:So. I can't exactly remember what was posted last entry or when, and to be honest I won't be bothered to check. I think I'm relapsing into depression and dissociation. I lost about 2 hours on Monday and an entire class period today. I don't know what caused it this time; if people are yelling, usually I remember the start of it but I can't. Same with fighting. I think it may have been just extremely negative thoughts though I'm never sure.
But, anyway, the main causes of this potential relapse are as follows: my mother, the certain persons mentioned last entry, and myself.
I don't know if I've mentioned it yet but my father has been dead for a little over a decade, and my mother is a drug addict who's been mostly in prison for the past year. A little while ago, my grandmother, who lives on my current family's property, accused me of smoking. Instead of coming to me and confronting me like an adult, she sent a letter to my mom saying that she "without a doubt caught me" and my mom, in turn, sent a downright nasty letter to me, having the audacity to criticize me and belittle me for something I didn't even do, saying that I no longer had a right to be mad at her. It's like she was all, "ok you have the right to be mad I did awful things" at first, but now she's all, "ok come on now this is getting a little ridiculous," all patronizing and s**t. It's idiotic. And so, I sent a letter back.
In this letter, I told her some rightly disturbing things about her current boyfriend, whom all I will say about is that he's a *****. She hasn't even called since then. I'm a little pissed to say the least, because if this isn't the biggest "******** you" in familial history idk what is.
Now, for certain persons, this is. Harder for me to talk about, surprisingly. It din't work out between me and that person. I feel awful. I broke up with him. He was smothering and touchy feely, but he has the right of way because that's what high school boys expect out of a relationship right? I feel awful for breaking up with him, but I turned out miserable and leading him on would have been worse. I. I don't know. I feel like trash. Literal garbage. Slam dunk me in trash it's what I deserve. The worst part is that he understands, and is complimenting me still, and being mature, and that's not what I expected. I could have handled it better if he had pushed me and called me a ******** b***h, because that's what I'm used to. I don't know how to deal with this.
And finally, myself. Because I have the nerve to feel like the hurt one here.
But, I suppose, on the brighter side, I have a role in the play Alice that the school is doing. I don't know what role that is yet though. I'm hoping for Queen of Hearts, Alice herself, or the Cheshire Cat, but I'm just glad I got a role.
And, also, the art teacher gave me praise over my understanding of concepts and ability to "go above and beyond" so that makes my chest feel warm.
In other, unrelated, neutral news, I think I want to kiss a close friend who has a boyfriend and a girlfriend already. And a few other people. But mostly them. ▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉CONCLUSION:I'm gonna Quizlet and hopefull get over myself long enough to do a little geometry.
▁ ▂ ▅ ▆ ▉TL;DR:I'm trash, blah blah, I don't know whether I hate my mother or myself more, blah blah, I got a role in an Alice in Wonderland play, blah, I'm gonna go do stuff now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
