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 Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:51 pm
So I've tried "coming out" to my family recently.
I've been having major difficultly though. Both my mother and brother keep
arguing with me saying "Bisexuals are just gays that also like the norm." My
dad keeps saying it's my way of attention seeking. I'm just so hurt and lost. I
just want them to just be okay with it and stop saying I have to "prove" it to
them. I'm not sure what I can do or say to convince them that I know who I'm
attracted to. v . v
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:19 pm
I know how you feel since I'm bisexual too, like a lot of people tend to erase sexualities and genders that aren't black and white like for example non binary, queer, genderfluid, demisexual, pansexual ect. Because they don't understand it. If you are a bisexual then you are one, only you get to define your own sexuality and if your family doesn't understand then so be it, its their problem not yours. I'm proud that you had the courage to come out to your family and say it proudly emotion_yatta
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:51 am
I"m sorry. There are people, even in this guild, with Bi-erasure opinions. But they are other people's words and thoughts. They don't define you at all. You are you and you are what you feel/think/say you are.
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Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:15 pm
I wish i could say that this part gets easier as we get older, but in my experience many opinions were etched in stone the moment i came out as bi/pan.
I think finding a community like this is one of the best ways to ease the stress of it all.
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Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:28 pm
If you're true to yourself, you really don't need to "prove" it to anyone. Just do you and let everyone else get over it. I know it really sucks but there's nothing you can do to "convince" them. People like this never can grasp concepts like this.
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Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:05 pm
I'm About To Tell You The Best Advice Ever For This: Just Don't Give A s**t. I'm Pans. When I "Came Out" (Aka Figured Out I'm Pans After Finding Out The Word Exsisted) I Was Just Like "K" And Moved On And No-One Said A Damn Thing. That's What You Need To Do. What You Are Into Dose Not Matter And Frankly People Are Stupid For Care'in So Damn Much About Something That Has NOTHING To Do With Them. So My Advice Is Brush It Off And Move On-People Will Only Give A s**t If You Do So Stop Begging For Them To Accept You-In The End All That Matters Is Find'in Someone You Like. So There You Go-Just Hakuna Matata It And You'll Be Fine.
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 5:17 pm
I wish I could say I even got this far. I'm bi too, but I know I can't tell my family. My mother would.... die? Is that too dramatic? Maybe? I don't know. Anyway, it wouldn't go over well. I don't care enough about my father to even bother, and my siblings are so young that there's no way I'd even think about it.
I was raised to think that bisexual didn't even really exist... it was either a gay person who didn't want to admit they were really gay or a straight person who wanted attention. Once I figured out that it really did exist (one of my close friends and housemates is bi) and I read more on it to understand her, I kinda had one of those "DER" moments.
I don't feel the need to define myself anymore. If people ask, I'm honest, but I have to be choosey about who they are... there are certain people who are too religious to even hear it, my family included. I've just decided that nothing about me has changed, except the fact that I'm now self-aware. And it's ok, really. The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.
Granted, I'm saying this as a 23-year-old who is no longer at home, but I think it still applies to everyone. No age or living condition allows someone to make you feel small... only you do. If you're attracted to both genders, then you're attracted to both genders. Simple as that. Stop trying so hard and just BE. They'll either come around, or you'll grow out of caring so much how they see you. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 10:15 am
If it makes you feel any better, the way i always thought of it is you have a gift of being able to make a special connection with twice as many people, not saying singular attraction is any less special but at the end of the day its really nobody's business what you find attractive unless you want someone to know. biggrin In my experience the only real problem I've run into because of my sexuality is having crushes on friends left and right.
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:50 am
I had a similar issue when coming out as pansexual. "You just want to be a special snowflake," is basically what I got.
You define your sexuality. If they are unable to understand it - or chose to not understand it - do not be intimidated. You are you. If you like men and women, you like men and women. Just because they don't get it doesn't mean it's not you.
"I don't understand gravity, but that doesn't mean the law of gravity doesn't apply to me! I don't go floating off into space!"
So, long story short, as long as you are comfortable with your identity, then that's all that really matters. Good luck!
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 1:00 pm
•••••• "Thank you all for your comforting words. It's
nice to know that I'm not the only one who goes through this sorta thing. Maybe one day
people will be open and understanding. But, the thing I learned from you all is that all
I really need is my own acceptance. Thank you guys. >w< emotion_bigheart
Oh, and happy holidays." ••••••
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:02 am
Penny for your thoughts? Does anybody else here have a 'drive' toward men when and about a few hours after waking up and then none at all later? Or perhaps it would be better worded an emotional and romantic attraction but not sexual in any way a few hours after waking up?
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