Okay, so, we all have that one friend, or know of that one person who is ALWAYS a downer. Like, so much so that they annoy you and you want to smash their face in with a brick.
I used to be that person. But I've been working on it.
Recently, I've been proposed to, and I absolutely love the guy. It's a bit odd, and strange, but I'll explain it as best as I can.
He's gay. We've been friends for a long time, and he would always tell me that I was adorable and he loved me and stuff, and I'm like okay, he's just like, a really good friend and stuff and just one of those super affectionate people. Two nights ago, he messaged me, and said he was mad at me. I felt bad, and apologized, though I wasn't sure what I did wrong. He proceeded to tell me that he was incredibly jealous of my previous significant others, and that he wished he could be with me and take care of me and my son. Yes, he knows that I am female. No, he doesn't care. I apparently am the exception. But I do really like him, and would honestly date him. Would have sooner, had I known that he had any actual interest in me. He is literally, beautiful, moreso than any other person I've ever met. And no, he doesn't mind me telling him that. lol But he is 100% serious about marrying me, and adopting my son, and I can't breathe or comprehend it even. (And don't worry, we're not jumpin state or eloping or any of that. lol Gonna actually take it slower and just enjoy ourselves. There's 0 reason to rush.)
So, I set my status here on Gaia as "You are absolutely breathtaking. I don't understand what I did right to deserve you, but I would love nothing more than to be yours."
And I log on today, and see aforementioned downer friend (shes more of an acquaintance, but I'll call her a friend, for the sake of not trying to appear completely hostile) set her status to "STOP WITH THE CUTESY STATUS"
And I'm sitting here thinking, what the ******** this aimed at me? Am I about to take this too personally? Yes. Yes I am.
So here's the obligatory thread about me taking it personally, but I mean seriously. Who the ******** even says that? You're going to tell me that I can't be happy about something just because you feel hopeless in life? This is the ******** break in the clouds that I was hoping for, and you're gonna piss on my parade? I didn't shove it in anyone's face, wasn't all "HAHA LOOK AT YOU ALL ALONE AND ME GETTING MARRIED" because I'm NOT that kind of person. I just posted a nondescript status about being happy and she's like no stop ******** that s**t. That's uncalled for. I get she's sad, but I tried to talk to her, help her thru it, be there to listen, and none of it helps. She even said that talking doesn't help and it didn't matter if anyone listened or did anything. I don't even know what the real cause of her issues is, except that she's lonely and feels hopeless. I tried to be there, I genuinely did, but I don't know what else to do at this point, and it's rude to lash out at others because they're not depressed just like you are.
And she can feel however she wants, sure. It's a human right. I won't challenge that. But why would you even come at another person like that, when your name wasn't dropped and it's not even about you? If you don't want to look at it, don't. Unfriend me on here, put me on ignore if you have to, but if you have such an adverse reaction to someone posting some words that convey happiness, then you've got some nerve. Hell, if it bothers you so badly, PM me about taking it down. Don't blast that s**t in a status. What the hell?
Someone please explain human beings to me, because I don't understand this s**t. It makes minimal sense to me, and maybe someone from an outside angle can get a better view of it.
If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:17 am
Sarcasdick
Well, I'm no psychology professor, but I have studied human emotions for a long time to have a basic idea towards both sides of this...story, shall we call it?
Now then, first let us start with your side. You were once a person who was a total downer and has changed since then(I'm assuming here, so no guarantees for me). You know that whatever got you out of it can get anyone else out, but having suffered through many things, you should know that just talking and doing things isn't always enough. I can see that you are happy with this new significant other of yours and that you are quite...excited, so to say, about getting married eventually. You are happy to show that you have found someone that you can love truly and had set your status about that(fun quote: "If you truly are in love with someone, you will not find any status about it on the internet besides -In a Relationship- or whatever)". Continuing on, you have the full right to show that you have fallen in love, but then comes the side part of it which has always confused me. Yes, you are directing this status towards someone else, but are they able to see it? I understand the feeling as I've done it before, but I ended up thinking, "why post about it if they won't even see it? Just set this to 'In a Relationship' and done." Still, to each their own.
Now onto your acquaintance/friend. They are indeed a downer and most likely do take things into the bad. Now then, you did not rub it in their face, so they shouldn't care about it all that much, however, deep down, perhaps this acquaintance is just tired of people doing it and not just you. We all have pet peeves, so there is no reason to just assume that they are stating it just about you(hey, I assume and the saying goes: "Assuming makes you its first three letters).
Now then, onto the conflict between this. You are overreacting to this and in a way, you are the attacker to the victim, while also being vice-versa. They said it because perhaps they are tired of seeing people do it. It seems pointless to say many 'cutesy' things over the internet because...well, it is the internet! However, how you put it that they are 'pissing on my parade', that is saying that they are directing it just towards you. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, I don't know. However, if you have no problem with what you are thinking, you shouldn't be getting angry about it. You showing anger towards what they say is like being a hypocrite in the Youtube comments stating how if nobody likes your statement, they don't support freedom of speech. And by saying "If you don't want to look at it, don't", well how can one NOT look at it when it's right there in the status? It makes YOU the bad person just by stating that(and like every other douche in the comment section of Youtube with that whole "don't watch it if you don't like it"). In the end, both of you have your views and in a way, both of you are the bad guy in the game of life. If you have no problem with what they think, you shouldn't let it bother you. If they have a problem with it, let them have a problem with it. It isn't YOUR problem if they don't want to see it. Don't become the douche in the Youtube comments. Be the one reading it who laughs about other people complaining about it. This will lead to a more...prosperous time in your mind and let you just continue your daily life of Gaia and life and so on and blah, blah, blah. Anywho, I hope I gave some decent insight on the issue.
This is Niijiro, Signing Out.
Niijiro
Invisible Guildsman
Offline
Sarcasdick
Dangerous Gatekeeper
Offline
Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 11:52 am
Niijiro
Sarcasdick
Well, I'm no psychology professor, but I have studied human emotions for a long time to have a basic idea towards both sides of this...story, shall we call it?
Now then, first let us start with your side. You were once a person who was a total downer and has changed since then(I'm assuming here, so no guarantees for me). You know that whatever got you out of it can get anyone else out, but having suffered through many things, you should know that just talking and doing things isn't always enough. I can see that you are happy with this new significant other of yours and that you are quite...excited, so to say, about getting married eventually. You are happy to show that you have found someone that you can love truly and had set your status about that(fun quote: "If you truly are in love with someone, you will not find any status about it on the internet besides -In a Relationship- or whatever)". Continuing on, you have the full right to show that you have fallen in love, but then comes the side part of it which has always confused me. Yes, you are directing this status towards someone else, but are they able to see it? I understand the feeling as I've done it before, but I ended up thinking, "why post about it if they won't even see it? Just set this to 'In a Relationship' and done." Still, to each their own.
Now onto your acquaintance/friend. They are indeed a downer and most likely do take things into the bad. Now then, you did not rub it in their face, so they shouldn't care about it all that much, however, deep down, perhaps this acquaintance is just tired of people doing it and not just you. We all have pet peeves, so there is no reason to just assume that they are stating it just about you(hey, I assume and the saying goes: "Assuming makes you its first three letters).
Now then, onto the conflict between this. You are overreacting to this and in a way, you are the attacker to the victim, while also being vice-versa. They said it because perhaps they are tired of seeing people do it. It seems pointless to say many 'cutesy' things over the internet because...well, it is the internet! However, how you put it that they are 'pissing on my parade', that is saying that they are directing it just towards you. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, I don't know. However, if you have no problem with what you are thinking, you shouldn't be getting angry about it. You showing anger towards what they say is like being a hypocrite in the Youtube comments stating how if nobody likes your statement, they don't support freedom of speech. And by saying "If you don't want to look at it, don't", well how can one NOT look at it when it's right there in the status? It makes YOU the bad person just by stating that(and like every other douche in the comment section of Youtube with that whole "don't watch it if you don't like it"). In the end, both of you have your views and in a way, both of you are the bad guy in the game of life. If you have no problem with what they think, you shouldn't let it bother you. If they have a problem with it, let them have a problem with it. It isn't YOUR problem if they don't want to see it. Don't become the douche in the Youtube comments. Be the one reading it who laughs about other people complaining about it. This will lead to a more...prosperous time in your mind and let you just continue your daily life of Gaia and life and so on and blah, blah, blah. Anywho, I hope I gave some decent insight on the issue.
This is Niijiro, Signing Out.
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
It's on Gaia though, so it's not like it takes up a significant part of the page/screen like a tweet or a status on facebook would. Most people on Gaia don't even bother with them, from what I've seen. (There's a lot of people though, and they come and go, maybe it's changed and more people use them, but that's just my experience.) As my other still is on Gaia from time to time, yes they could see said status if they chose to bother looking thru them.
And honestly, I got over it after posting this. I just rant from time to time to get it out, and then move on from there. But for some reason, it works better typed out for me, as compared to writing or talking irl to a person about it. After I was calmed, I asked if she was okay, told her I saw it and was worried that somethin was botherin her, (don't worry, I wasn't confrontational about it). She replied just earlier today and said she didn't even remember what she had posted and I took it as done and over with and told her I was glad whatever it was no longer bothered her.
So, I suppose it's over with. lol I just kinda get agitated, when things like this happen, because it's the equivalent of someone telling their friend that they're sad and being told "well stop it. cheer up". It's not effective and is more likely to piss the person off. (Also taken from my own experience, from watching others, and dealing with it myself.) Thank you though, for the feedback. c:
