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 Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:59 pm
Josh Matthews here! For two months now a friend of mine, former referee, Tim White has been very depressed and has attempted to end it all. All from hanging himself, drowning himself, electrocuting himself, cut his wrists, shooting himself with a handgun, ingesting diseases, and just recently filled his brand new car with exhaust! Well today, I came to visit Tim in his bar the Friendly Tap where he was recently sent a letter today from the Guinness Book of World Records! Hopefully this will cheer him up.
*Josh stepped in with an envelope inside the Friendly Tap.*
Now Tim, I bet your anxious too see what record you broke!
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:47 pm
*Pulls out a very sharp letter opener.*
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:28 pm
Uhhh...Maybe I should do this.
*Josh opens it*
Wow! You won for...Most suicide attempts in the world...
Well congratulations, Mr. White! How does it feel to break a world record?
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:39 pm
*Pulls out metal rod and begins to sharpen letter opener*
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:49 pm
*Josh didn't see Tim.*
You know Mr. White, When I was kid I always wanted to break a world record...It was a big dream of mine...
*Josh kept talking with his back turned on Tim.*
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:11 am
*Holds the letter opener at arms length, then after 10 seconds plunges it into his left side*
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