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 Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 11:55 pm
Munakata Kei, the Deadly Nightshade of the Human Weapons Unit
"...I'm not simply a man who kills for no reason. It's because I have a reason that I kill. Because I wish for the Grail, I'll kill you. Because you threatened Kaori, I'll kill you..."Thinking about it in retrospect, he probably should have been a little more cautious about reintroducing himself to the city; his mind poured over the images that haunted him and the instincts screaming inside of his mind, but somewhere in the back he was also trying to understand what it was that had set him off so badly. They had been out of major cities for some time now, away from even a small village like Inaba, and perhaps their hideout on Yakushima had allowed him to become too relaxed...too accustomed to not having other people around and the feelings that such a situation would awaken inside of him. It was like ripping off a band-aid and finding that the wound had become infested...tearing away the band-aid brought with it a reopening of the wound that had it bleeding worse than before. It had to be gradual, and he had to understand that he simply wasn't going to be able to be around people normally because he hadn't been near them enough lately to feel that need to kill. He needed to...catch his breath...which became harder when he felt arms slide around him and an embrace took him that might have been awkward to others but meant everything to him. She knew...it hadn't been the first time she had seen him nearly cross the line nor the first time that he had told her about the graphic, painful imagery that he couldn't help but envision when he came into contact with other people...she knew very well just what sort of terrifying existence he was. And yet she would still find him dear enough to hold him...to reassure him that he was still human...and that if all the world was to know him as a killer, at least she would know the truth about him. She would still care for him, and go out of her way, even out of her character to show him that. No matter what she might say or think, he knew that he owed her. He owed her everything...
"You're still stronger than I am," the young man mumbled, but clearly enough to let her know that he wasn't being bashful. She had always been much more in-control of her powers and herself than he had, or at least she was in his own mind...he couldn't see how powerful and controlled he must have been because he could only see how truly, perilously close he was to the edge at all times. He knew the creature inside of him that lusted for blood, knew that was his nature and that everything he did to control himself ran contrary to that natural instinct. And yet he wished with all of his heart not to be that terror, not to give in to his baser instincts and be anything less than in control of his own person, his own honor, and more than anything, he wished never to kill. How he had managed that as he was for all these years was incredible...and yet in his own mind, he could see that she was even stronger than he was. Her power, her emotions, she was always strong...always in control. And it was that strength that he relied upon, that confidence that allowed him to trust her with his own life...and death, if need be. He remembered their conversation after that first fight in training back in the HWU, that first moment of realization that he could have a friend...one who could destroy him if he were to ever lose himself. It was a revelation...it was salvation. Did she remember their promise?
He knew now that what he had asked her then was something that he could never promise in return; even if she were to beg him, he could never kill her. And yet he had insisted that she promise to kill him if he ever gave in to his instincts and became the ravenous beast that hungered inside of him. Could she keep that promise now? ...He was almost afraid to ask, afraid to consider what it would mean if she said 'no'...he was afraid of what might happen to her if he was gone. Would she live? Would she die? Would she ever grow close to someone the way that he and her were together now? He didn't want to leave her behind, and yet...if that day came...he'd rather be dead than risk allowing himself to harm her. He'd rather die...how ironic...maybe if he felt the urge coming the only life he'd ever need to take was his own? Maybe...and yet...
"Do you remember the walls back in the Headquarters, Kaori?" his voice was quiet as he spoke again, his fingers calmed from their shaking by her own now searching out her fingers once more to take them in his hands and hold them...as if clutching a talisman, precious and fragile, to remind him of his religion, "They were thin...other people might hear muffles through them, but I could hear the directors talking clearly. I heard them talk about my arsenal, my test scores, targets they would have me kill once the program was authorized. I was nothing to them...at best I was just a tool, just a gun on their rack...at worst, I was some sort of diseased beast to use until my mind became too sick to reason and they would put me down. ...I remember them laughing at me when I refused to kill a training partner in a sparring match. Through the plexiglass, they were laughing about the 'monster kid' growing a conscience...they took bets on how many training matches it would take for me to break and kill one...I used to sit just like this in my room and watch my hands shake with the urge to find my last partner and tear their neck open until my fingers were caked in red."
He didn't know why he was remembering all of this now, except that he felt...disappointed in himself. All this time and how much had he really progressed in his search for absolution from this dark passenger living inside of him? In the end, he knew...he could fight it all he could like...but he was doomed to a grisly end. Today, tomorrow, a week from now...a month, a year...he'd eventually reach his breaking point and then, he'd kill...and Kaori would kill him in return, she'd realize that she had never been right in trusting him and she'd put him out of his misery. She'd never forgive him for putting her through that...she'd move on, survive...but he'd have stolen something precious from her...something he could never give back. Not when he was dead...was that why he was telling her all this now?
"Did you know...of all the Human Weapons Unit, my actual combat potential...not my ability level but combat potential...was the highest in all the Human Weapons Unit?" he asked her with a faint, weary smile as he glanced up at the ceiling, his remembrance lingering on some unspoken point, "I heard them say it through the walls once...right before they called me the 'Failure that doesn't kill.' ...All my life I have wanted one thing, never to raise my blade and take a human life, and all my life that's all anyone I have ever known has wanted from me. Even my enemies expect me to kill without knowing or understanding...by right or by reputation, I'm nothing more than the killer they wanted me to be. You are the only one that is any different, Kaori..."
"You have never asked me to kill anyone; you're not with me because you want me to assassinate your enemies. I am not a failure if I walk away from a fight instead of instigating one. You're the only person who has ever known me and appreciated me for anything other than my ability to kill another human being. I owe you much more than a simple thanks, no matter the reason you're beside me," his voice lowered for a brief instant, his fingers closing around hers a little more tightly...purposefully, "You are the reason I am here; my wish for the Grail is secondary to my gratitude to you, for everything. And I will always watch your back, so I hope you will indulge my...need for your presence. You are the only one I can rely on, Kaori...there is no one else I can trust. No one else for whom I could feel so strongly..."
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2014 3:03 pm
Kaori Sakurazaka, the Wild Cherry Blossom of the Human Weapons Unit  Those last words had just barely left his lips when her own pressed against them without any warning; soft and gentle. Fingers tightened around his as she spilled all the feelings that had been hanging on the air for so long now; feelings that couldn't really been said in words; feelings she felt needed to be shown now. She felt just as strongly for him, more than she felt for anybody else. She wanted to protect him...she wanted to make sure he was always safe...and anything she'd do...she'd do for him. The moment was short, Kaori already leaning back, if only enough to speak, her forehead pressing lightly to his, a shaky breath leaving her lips. "They are wrong, Kei... All of them." Her voice was low, but with an intensity that was almost palpable, her crimson gaze clear and deep with all she felt for him. "They don't see what I see..." He was strong. Stronger than her. "Ever since that fight, Kei...I knew you were the strongest person I have ever meet. You stay true to your values...you didn't let them change you. You don't give in." That fight they had when they had been young...he could have killed her then. The scars on her body now proof of that fight. He had avoided hitting any vitals; just as he always avoided taking any lives. And every time afterwards, it had been that way. For that, she was forever amazed...and she had promised herself to keep it that way. She wouldn't let him kill...not because he had asked her to, but because she didn't want to see him lose that. It was important to him, and if she ever failed him...she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.
They needed each other. They depended on each other. She needed him just as much as he needed her. He was the one person she could lean on...the one who gave any sense to her existence. Back then, she had nothing. The only thing that moved her was her hatred for the organization that had kidnapped her. All she did, she did to provoke them; perhaps then, they would finally discard her...end her life if anything else. Then...they wouldn't have one more weapon to use against others. They had never disposed of her though... and it wasn't until she had met Kei, that she found her reason. She wanted to protect him...to make sure his wish stayed intact...and once they had escaped the Human Weapon Unit...the violet haired woman had even started having thoughts of freedom...of a quiet life with the only one she cared about. She began having thoughts of...being normal. Of having all the HWU had taken from them all those years ago. He was her reason...he was everything to her.
Her gaze fell once again on him, and she couldn't ignore the magnetic force that wanted to pull her to him all over again. She couldn't ignore his body, so close to hers; the warmth of his breath; the fabric brushing against her bare arms. "Kei..." They had been together for so many years... since they were both children...He had always been important to her, but...right now...she knew he was irreplaceable. He was...everything she wanted.
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2014 6:51 pm
Munakata Kei, the Deadly Nightshade of the Human Weapons Unit
"...I'm not simply a man who kills for no reason. It's because I have a reason that I kill. Because I wish for the Grail, I'll kill you. Because you threatened Kaori, I'll kill you..."She had caught him almost unexpectedly; to say that, alone, with his instincts honed to such a fine point was emphasis enough of how unprepared for the kiss she had caught him in he truly was. At no point would he have ever said that Kaori was someone who tended to let her affections be worn openly upon her sleeve. She was passionate and strong, certainly, but they had always been so focused upon their freedom and their work within the Human Weapons Unit...that opportunity to escape that seemed like it would never come...that nothing else had ever really crossed their minds. When they had found friendship in one another it had been an unexpected blessing; when the two of them escaped and found their freedom it had been far more than that. This, however...his instincts screamed so loudly that his hand trembled as her lips pressed against his own...or maybe that was just the thumping of his heart echoing through his flesh. Whatever instincts told him to keep her at length for her safety, for his sanity, they were subdued in that moment he was pressed close against her. Was it unusual for her to show how she felt so openly with him? ...Maybe, no...there wasn't anything wrong about this moment. Nothing at all. And for the very first time in all his life he felt what it was like to be connected to another human being in something other than combat, truly connected.
It was...strange, this feeling...strange hearing her say all of those things about him that he had never let himself believe the way that she did. If he had to find a word to describe the feeling he would have to choose...elation? No...what else could he call this feeling other than...love?
"Kaori, you are...you know what I am. I would be a nightmare without you," he spoke quietly, somberly, and yet his fingers found their way to her cheek and gently touched that porcelain skin that looked so tender, felt so preciously smooth...and was in all actuality as tough as nails. How many times had he felt the urge to touch her just the way he was now? How many times had he pictured...blood spilling from this cheek, imagery which he could not help that left him feeling so ashamed he sometimes didn't even want to look her in the eye? And yet she believed in him, she called him strong? "Every good thing in my life, every moment worth remembering...begins and ends with you. Kaori..." He felt the pull that drew her to him and let his fingers cup close the cheek that he found so precious to his heart. His lips found hers for a moment and his grim frown curled faintly into a smile against them. Whatever they were after, wherever they went, they would be in that quest together. It was all he'd ever need.
...
The moment lingered on a little longer; he didn't pull away, savoring the precious moments of connection between them that silenced the endless voices of mayhem within. Somewhere off in the city there were battles begin fought, a war that they had willingly entered continuing on without them...but it would not stay that way forever. Hide away in this simple home all they wanted and the war would eventually come to their doorstep. Tomorrow they would go out again and scout the city, they would likely encounter their enemies, and they would fight...but tonight the chaos was elsewhere. And alone in a little cabin they were together. It felt like the home he had never had.
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2014 5:49 pm
Kaori Sakurazaka, the Wild Cherry Blossom of the Human Weapons Unit It was a different feeling, she had to agree. But it wasn't unwelcomed. And it wasn't anything new either. The feelings she had for her blue eyed companion had been there for some time now...months? Years even? Their friendship had grown into something more as they spent all their time together. They had grown to lean on each other, to trust each other. She knew she could be herself with him...and that she could never hide anything from him...just as she knew his every little quirk...each look and sigh...the small smiles he gave her when they joked around...or the trembling hands when he felt himself faltering. He knew her fears, her wishes, her goals... and she wanted to think she knew his. He had become her confident...the one she could rely on. With each passing day, she knew she wanted to be there for him. She wanted to make him happy. He was... the one she...
His words whispered on the dark made her to lower her gaze, a quiet promise to herself to always be there for him...before returning her eyes to his blue ones, losing herself there. His touch was careful, gentle...almost as if he were touching a precious object...afraid of breaking it...and she felt herself leaning into that touch. In that moment, she felt safe. And as lips found hers once again, she felt a spark setting ablaze inside...and she returned the gesture...feeling her head tilting...her body shifting to fit more tightly against him...her hand entwined with his tightening its grip, almost as if feeling that she'd lose her balance if she'd let go...the other fingers tangling through his hair...
...
She pulled back after a moment to get some air, little shaky breaths escaping her lips. And the tiniest of smiles appeared on them as her eyes fluttered open to gaze at those blue orbs. "Tomorrow... " she began between small gasps, "...we move together. I am not leaving this cabin without you...and you better not leave without me..."
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2014 2:00 pm
Munakata Kei, the Deadly Nightshade of the Human Weapons Unit
"...I'm not simply a man who kills for no reason. It's because I have a reason that I kill. Because I'm not a killer, I'll kill you. Because there is someone I love, I'll kill you..."What might have been complicated for the both of them if it had come at any other moment now only seemed natural; his hands had long since stopped shaking and now remained steady, holding his partner fast and close to him as they clung to one another amidst the chaos of this city and this War that threatened to claim them both. With or without this Grail, Kei promised himself in his mind, he would see to it that Kaori escaped this city alive. He would do all that he could to live and escape with her, and to win the Grail so that they could at last have the dream of freedom that they had long coveted so deeply. But even then, freedom at the price of this person beside him was unthinkable; dreams were ash and dust, worthless and forgotten, unless the two of them were to achieve them together. Through years of captivity, uncertainty, fear, hatred, and everything else that they had been through leading up to the reprieve from the HWU they had finally earned there was only one person in whom he could place his trust, only one person that he wanted by his side, only one person...in all this world around them...that he wanted.
He caught her crimson eyes and could have sworn that he saw one of her rare, uninhibited smiles as she spoke something to him that he could only make a small noise of affirmation in response to. Tomorrow...was a long time away from now, or at least that's how it felt to him in the moment. After losing himself to darkness, she had brought him all the way back from the brink and held him fast here and now, where all the world was focused in his mind. Killing, freedom, killing, love, and killing...every emotion, every thought and feeling that crossed his mind and heart looped back to this...and he was right where he wanted to be. Just the two of them...
"Put your Servant on patrol," he told her in a quiet voice, steady and a hint deeper than before, fingers splayed over the sides, "I'll put mine on stationary lookout on the rooftop. ...Just in case." Tomorrow they could fight, so long as the fight didn't come to them in the interim. Tonight, killing was...if not pushed entirely out of his blood and thoughts...the last thing on his mind.
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 8:25 pm
Munakata Kei, the Deadly Nightshade of the Human Weapons Unit
"...I'm not simply a man who kills for no reason. It's because I have a reason that I kill. Because I'm not a killer, I'll kill you. Because there is someone I love, I'll kill you..."...The next morning...Day 3...
...
Words failed to adequately describe the night that had passed before; it went without saying that of all the nights that he and Kaori had spent together on the run, in the HWU, in little one-room hideouts and less hospitable sleeping spots, this had been the closest and most intimate that they had ever been. Emotions weren't something that Kaori allowed herself to act on very often, that cool rationality that she once said ran in her family allowing her to put aside her feelings at times to make the right decision when necessary. When she did get passionate, it was usually in anger or even in intense excitement during a battle that pushed her to her limits, but when she had curled up against him and pressed her lips to his against that door...what had happened next had left him feeling more complete, more alive than he ever had in a battle. His instincts were quieted, though never entirely, and he had focused so completely upon her that as the light came and went and the next night crept upon them...eyes trailing over the milky skin of her shoulder in the last waning instants before he had forced himself out of the futon...he felt a relief wash over him...a contentment in his trust in her...that he had never felt before. Fingers meant for killing, trained for killing, had instead been focused on...well...
...The night was upon them now, and as he stood in the dark corner of the small shrine finishing the last couple of buttons on his jacket, there was something different about him. It was a sense of purpose, confidence...he had trusted Kaori for so long, but now it was deeper, something that he knew was far more special. She was here for the Grail, he knew, but now in his heart he was certain...what he was here for wasn't himself, but her. The wish was secondary. Seeing her to the finish safely was all that mattered. His eyes glanced over his shoulder to where she was up and getting ready for the night, replacing dark clothes over pale skin...and though he could see the harrowing visions in his mind's eye of what his instinct wished, he also felt something different...something pure. It felt a little bit like...
"It's time to go," his voice pierced the dark calmly, the steel of his sword glinting in the moonlight as it slid into place at his hip...but for the normal severity there was a hint of something...tender, "Together tonight...right?"
...Yeah, a little something like that...
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:39 pm
Kaori Sakurazaka, the Wild Cherry Blossom of the Human Weapons Unit She would never forget that night. They had bared everything they got for the other to see... their deepest thoughts, their darkest fears...their every feeling and sensation... and she knew then...that she wouldn't be able to keep her promise to him. Kei was the only one she could trust...the only one she could lean on...though, she wanted to think that if it ever came down to it, she would be able to stop him if necessary...only because he had asked her to...and because she knew he would never forgive himself if he ever hurt her... but now... now...
Crimson eyes looked over her shoulder at the back of her companion as he meticulously armed himself; every weapon treated with such care and precision...she had wondered more than once how he managed to do it. She had seen the ritual every morning...during missions, during their time together in little hiding places after their escape from the HWU headquarters...; this time felt different. Was different. Flashes of the night before still ran over and over inside her mind, and it was with tenderness that she held them. Words whispered to his ear... warm hands keeping her in place... the feeling of being complete... of losing herself completely in his arms...
Kaori knew...she wouldn't bear going on without him. He was far too precious...far too important to her. But...she wouldn't need to go on without him. She would do anything for him. Everything for him.
A faint smile curled at the corner of her lips as she pull on her black shirt, taking the jacket that had been discarded the night before, and putting it on in one swift motion. His voice pierced the comfortable silence between them just as she had finished tying up her boots, standing up to face him. Her gaze was strong, determined...though there was something deeper there...a fire that glowed stronger than before, warmer. "Always..." Yes, she would never forget their night together...but she wouldn't take it as their last...for they would get out of this city...out of this war. Together. Quote: Kei and Kaori left the building.
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