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The Bear (Polar Bear) :: Eriol (Critique?)

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AnhikaJeanine

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:41 am


Character Name: Eriol
Nicknames: Eri, Bratling
Dust Essence: Polar Bear
Gender: Male
Guardian: (If Approved his guardian will be Sunarine Sunny for short)

Appearance: Dark hair and Glasses he dresses well (He is based off of the prince after all) If he was holding a book or a flute that would be fantastic.

Personality: Eri is heavily intelligent. He likes to learn and will do anything to attain knowledge however he isn't well aware of human thoughts or feelings. He thinks logically and therefore when he hurts someone's feelings isn't always aware of what he's done wrong which upsets some people. He isn't well versed in keeping his thoughts to himself and while he can be helpful at times sometimes he can seem just plain rude with his thoughts and his ways of wording things.

Likes/Dislikes:
Likes-
Reading
Playing Music
Thinking
Learning to do new things
Fish

Dislikes -
Ignorance
Being taken someplace by someone he isn't used to.
High heat
Being irritated (As in someone standing behind him chattering away when he doesn't want to listen)
Having to explain things more than once

Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Playing music.

Anything Else: It would be found in the snow near the edge of the forest. It would be nice to have a quest focused on something unique to the story like something to do with bears ect.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:37 am


Figured I'd toss you a non-staffly crit since you've been waiting.

Ok, reading over your quest - I'm gonna say the biggest thing first. Eriol had the essence of a polar bear, but I am not seeing that anywhere in his personality.


* how is he based off of a prince? I think it would make more sense for him to have hair like polar bear's fur - light yellow and hollow.
* for personality, I see that he speaks w/o thinking and is smart. Since he learns constantly, does he learn how to deal with people? Does he care to learn?
* tell me what makes him sad, what makes him explode in anger, what makes him so happy he feels liek his skin will burst
* what is his relationship with his guardian like? Does he view her as a mother? As smarter than him? figure out their dynamic.
* I'm gonna suggest for personality - pick four base keywords, a mix of bad and good, and expand on each one in their own paragraph.


Points to consider about polar bears
- the polar bear is currently the largest living type of land predator
- while not territorial, hungry polar have been know to attack indiscriminantly, both humans and other bears
- they overheat at temperatures above 50 °F
- they are excellent long distance swimmers & have superb smell
- tend to be solitary creatures
- tend to flight rather than fight (unless super hungry)
- Polar bears are stealth hunters


From a mythology standpoint I suggest delving into the Inuit mythos of polar bears - specifically nanook.

You have an ok base, you just need more. c:

AnhikaJeanine

The Semblance of Unity

Predestined Victim

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