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 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 5:58 pm
Who: Cesc and Zul
When: Evening
Where: The beach in Gambino
Weather: Fifties, with a cold breeze
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
In, in, out, out. In, in, out, out.
There were bags of sand tied to Cesc's wings, weights on his wrists, and he flew down the stretch of sand at a quickened pace, relying wholly on the power of his wings and not on the magic that usually kept him afloat. His back ached, his shoulders tightened, and his hair was wet with sweat. But he was smiling, and although his voice was breathy, he made pleasant conversation.
He liked this piece of sand, this bit of the ocean view. He liked it the best at this time of night, when the salt air could ruffle his wet hair and make cold the lines of sweat that made their way down his back. He liked the exercise, the pain, the feeling of getting stronger.
But most of all, tonight, he liked the company. It was a thing rarer than he liked, to see Zul, to talk with his friend with nothing weighing on them.
"I feel," the stag was saying, "that you've perhaps been happier lately?"
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 9:37 am
He'd never seen such a method of strengthening as the one Cesc was utilizing, but then again, the stag often thought outside the box in ways that surprised the demon. Zul always enjoyed visiting the pink-haired Frei when he could, short or at length, but it was nice to meet this way. It was a beautiful night and he hadn't realized how much he missed the beach until then, only slightly lamenting being in the city and not in Gambino anymore. It made the moments like these even more special.
"I have," the Sigel confirmed, his expression one of peace. "It's a long road to my goal, but...every day in the journey has been rewarding." Zul looked to the stag and smiled, a great fondness in his eyes. Cesc was certainly a part of his better days, though he wasn't sure if the Frei was aware of it. "You seem to glow with purpose. It does my heart well to see you full of life and smiles, my friend."
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 4:05 pm
Cesc laughed a breathy laugh, slowing to a stop and pulling one of the sandbags off his shoulder. He passed his forearm over his temple, his hair clinging to his sweat, and let the weight drop. He rolled his shoulder in his hand, then did the same routine with the other arm. A breeze rolled between them, a sweet sting of salty coolness.
"I'm glad to hear it," said Cesc, still grinning. The waves rolled rhythmically toward them, back and forth, trying to splash them with spray. "And I admit, I'm glad to be well again. No one tells you how tiring it is to be unwell."
He shook his head, still smiling, but a faint ruefulness entered his expression. "It feels good, you know, to train. To get stronger. It feels ... purposeful and powerful to do for yourself in that way. But I've realized that it's really all a crapshoot, isn't it?" He laughed, a quiet sound. "No matter how long I fly and how heavy a thing I carry, I know I will never match Iorek in strength, or Rivener in power. And I know they were cut down in that jungle as easily as I was. I'm not saying this is futile, far from it. But it's strange to realize that you never really know what you're up against."
Rhedefre paused. There had been no gravity or somberness to his words. He'd spoken with a levity that came from acceptance and understanding, punctuated as his words were with his still-heavy breath.
"You've been through much more than I have," he continued, meeting Zul's gaze. "Do you ever think of that sort of thing?"
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:38 am
"It's different for everyone," the demon admitted, rolling his own shoulders slowly in a mirror of Cesc's motion. "We all deal with our darkness in our own way." Zul smiled faintly; he couldn't exactly say that they all deal with their own demons. It was a part of him. He had to deal with himself every day.
Crossing his arms over his bare chest, the Sigel listened, watching Cesc with silent consideration. They were heavy words that the Frei spoke, weighty things that were far too much for his age, or so Zul felt. At the question posed, he slowly dipped his head in acknowledgement, his expression a little reserved. "We are a product of what makes us." He lifted one hand in the air, fingers curled, showcasing himself as the example. "Our strengths come from what we find in ourselves. But strength itself isn't always physical, you know -- it comes in many forms. The important thing is to learn the difference between the strength to conquer and be strong, and the strength used in the service of others." Blue eyes lidded, distant in memories that didn't make their way to his lips.
"We're also creatures of vices and virtues. But, above all, Cesc...you should know your struggle is not one you partake by yourself." Zul opened his eyes again, attention more focused. "It may sound cheesy and cliche, but I wish I'd had this belief when I was younger: you are not alone in this. There are humans and Raevans alike who would do anything for you."
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 1:03 pm
Cesc passed a hand over his brow as he listened to Zul, his bright eyes quiet with interest. He enjoyed listening to the demon speak, although part of him felt instinctively that Zul had been through so much more than he communicated -- and Cesc wondered how he held it within himself and still kept himself strong. Alex, he was sure, had something to do with it; Rivener, another. He was right, after all: nobody was alone.
"I know that," said the stag quietly. "And I cannot say how grateful I am for it. I have a wonderful family, and true friends." He smiled, finding Zul's eyes. "And it works both ways, of course. I would do anything for you all, just the same."
He paused then, thinking, still contemplative. "But, you know -- it's hard to ask when you need help." He let out a soft laugh. "So close up until the end, in the jungle, I was so certain I could still pull things under control." His smile twisted wryly, and he shook his head. "You are so capable, my friend. For what it's worth, I think you made better decisions than I did there -- I wish I had your perspective."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:33 am
Meeting Cesc's eyes was easy, even if their discussion was anything but. The demon smiled faintly, putting a hand on Cesc's shoulder, the other on the stag's forearm. "I do know," he said by means of comfort, "and I cherish you and your resolve."
Zul nodded at the last part, knowing all too well what Cesc meant. His pride kept him from asking for help more often than not - not because he thought he could handle it, but because he didn't want to plague anyone else with his own turmoil, especially when others viewed him as so stalwart - and on the few occasions he did ask, it was almost too late. He hoped to whatever goodness that existed in the world that Cesc would never face such a situation. "I don't know that you would have lived with yourself if you'd left everyone as I had, my friend. I can claim ignorance to the severity of the place, given that our run of it seemed lesser than everyone else, but you experienced the hell of it." His smile faded while he talked, but lingered at the corners of his mouth, a touch sad; he really didn't know if the stag would have survived the guilt of abandonment if he carried the guilt of survival. "You did everything you could, everything you thought was right and true -- and that is all anyone could ever ask for."
But asking for help...that was so much harder to address. Zul had little experience and less wisdom when it came to relying on others. "It's very hard to ask for help, there are...many factors that can make things seem cloudy or detrimental." The demon lightly squeezed the Frei he held. "But I mean this with all my heart, Cesc: if you ever need help, you need only call to me, and I will come to you."
Zul felt a strange warmth bloom in his chest, something deep and distant in him. It was a feeling of waiting, of...anticipating an agreement. It was a little silly, he thought briefly, but the feeling lingered, and Zul looked at Cesc expectantly.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 6:33 pm
There was a strange weight to Zul's words as they left his mouth. It was a moment before Cesc replied -- for some reason, his friend's words seemed to merit that, an extra pause of consideration before agreement. He could not accept, something within him said, unless he really meant to accept.
He thought of the jungle, of how he ran. There was so much terror in his veins then, mixing with purpose and desperation. If Zul had been near him, would he have asked for help? Cesc wasn't certain that he would have, not then.
But now, knowing what he knew now... the final stage of the jungle with two would have been easier than with one.
"Thank you," said Cesc with a smile. "And I promise in return that if I ever think you can be of assistance, my friend, I will indeed impose so much upon you as to ask for it. I hope you will do the same for me."
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 10:09 am
The weight between them seemed obvious even to the demon, and the silence that stretched was by no means uncomfortable. The Sigel was quiet and patient, feeling that trickle of power beneath his skin as the stag regarded him. Zul didn't pause to consider the implications of what was passing between them: it was words, well intended, but just words.
Just words.
As Cesc replied, Zul felt something turn in him like a gear, a shift that wasn't quite in place. The demon smiled at the words spoken, denying the taste of their magic in the air. "Those are agreeable terms," he chuckled, that gear creaking further, "help for help. It's a deal." The gear turned and clicked into place, releasing a warmth in his chest, a sudden feeling of 'waking up,' though he hardly knew what that was like, being a creature that didn't sleep. His smile was briefly puzzled before he let it go, fixing his attention on his friend. It's why he was there, after all.
"So then. Shall we continue?" Zul turned his gaze down the dark expanse of the beach and then back to the Frei, a small grin revealing his toothy amusement. He was still there to support Cesc, through and through.
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:03 pm
Cesc was unaware of the way the words affected his friend, and was left only with the warmth of having promised another measure of closeness with Zul. It was a promise he felt he could keep, to be more honest with the demon, to be more open in what he knew of himself and what he could handle.
At least, he hoped so. He hoped he would be that way, better than he was before. He floated on, and began another conversation, and let the words drift along to other things.
He could be better.
With help.
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