It's sad, I've been having trouble sleeping lately. For weeks and weeks I lay wide awake. What I want is a story. I think a story will really help.
Maybe it'll bring me sweet dreams. Prize
Starts: Feb 25th, 2014. Ends: March 1st, 2014 // 10pm CT.
Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:27 pm
Alright my loves, here's what you gotta do. In a paragraph or more I want you to tell me a story. It can be about anything! It can be when you slipped and fell, it can be when you got abducted by a UFO, it can be when you ran into a classroom late. It can be about anything! Only conditions is it MUST be true, and it CANNOT have a sad ending. No deaths, no murders, no anything like that.
The story can be scary, happy, silly, weird, crazy, but it must have happened to YOU. Don't take a story off Google. I'll be upset and disqualify you.
Rules: Must be a paragraph or more Cannot involve deaths, sicknesses or anything. No sad stories! Must have happened to YOU, I don't wanna hear about your friend. It can be mundane or crazy. But it has to happen to you. It must be true. Don't make it up. I'm an open minded person, so I welcome alien stories or pagan things or anything! It just must be TRUE, don't make it up to make it seem more interesting. Don't be upset at whom I pick. Since this is being picked on my own opinion it's hard to say what I will enjoy reading the most. You may only enter ONE story within ONE post. If it's a super long story it would be fantastic if you can put it under a spoiler tag so it can shorten the page! Don't edit your posts except to fix spelling/grammar. I don't want to find a new story posted the next day because you changed your mind. Once it's posted it's final. If the story is NSFW, please post a censored version here, following Gaia's PG 13 guidelines. You may PM me the entire NSFW version if needed!
How I'll Pick the Winner: It's subjected to personal opinion, so write anything you want except sad stuff! I love scary, I love boring, I love crazy, I love anything! Just no deaths. I'll read and think carefully about which story I like the best. The winner could be won only by typing a paragraph, or could be won by writing an entire page or more! Who knows! So good luck!
Lupicula Crew
Dangerous Pup
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ArtificialJellyfish Crew
Feral Trickster
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Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:44 pm
Let me tell you about my friend, the Shadow Guy.
When I was around twelve, my parents often left me at home by myself during summer and they put my little sister in daycare since I was too young to babysit, but apparently old enough to stay by myself for several hours. Back in the day, we had a super old computer, you know, dial up and all that good stuff, and we had it set up in the living room. But around this time, we didn't have internet, so we used it for little arcade games.
I decided to play a game my dad and I were competing against each other in. It was kind of like a space shooter game, only not as cool as something like Halo or Mass Effect, but it was still really fun. Anyway, I was trying to keep the highest score, and my dad had three of my scores he had to beat to catch up to me.
By now, you're probably wondering, 'You keep talking about computer games, whose this Shadow Guy?', well... That came shortly after I started playing.
But first, let me give you a quick set up of our living room. It was pretty much a big square and by one window, we had the computer desk and our desktop setup, which was where I was sitting. Along the front wall beside me was our entertainment system with our TV, speakers, radio, cable box, and game systems were set up on. Beside that was the air conditioner, then an old-fashioned fireplace, the door to my parents' room, and a coat rack between their bedroom door and the front door. Next to the front door, on the front side of the house, was a big window, and in the corner between the big window and the kitchen was my fishtank. Now that I've described that, I'll carry on. Trust me, the set up helps a bit with this story.
Around lunch time, I got hungry, but I didn't really want to eat anything in the house, so I called my grandpa and asked him to bring me a chicken sandwich from Burger King. After I hung up the phone, I went back to playing the computer game. I continued playing for another ten minutes when I heard a noise. It sounded like my parents' TV had turned on in their room. I could plainly hear coherent conversations and the staticy white noise that you hear when you turn a TV on.
So, naturally, I got curious and I spun the chair around to go see if it turned on by itself or something. But when I turned around, in that corner between my parents' room and the front door, where the coats were hanging, was a man.
He wasn't very tall, maybe around 5'5", give or take. He was solid black and he had no features; no eyes, no mouth, nothing. He seemed to have his hands in his pockets, and he was looking right at me, even though he had no eyes. He looked at me for a good minute or so before I turned slowly back to the computer, terrified. I stared at the computer screen and I could still see the man, so I closed my eyes and put my head down on the desk. I counted to to ten and lifted my head to look at the screen. I didn't see him. I turned the chair around again to look at the corner.
The man was gone.
Now, even though I was twelve, I was smart enough to try and debunk what I saw, since ghosts and spooky things were something I liked to read about. So, I sat there, staring at the coats on the makeshift coat hanger, wondering if maybe that's what I saw and I had been staring at the computer for too long and just saw something because my eyes were readjusting to looking at something other than the computer. But none of the coats were solid black, nor did any reach the floor. There was nothing on the floor that could have been the man's bottom half, and our walls were white and I could see nothing but white below the jackets. Our door was a brownish gray, and the door frame was green, so that ruled that out.
So, I concluded someone had been looking at me. Something was in the house with me and I was alone. The man had to have been there, as it usually takes only a few seconds for your eyes to readjust after looking away from a computer screen. Someone had been standing beside my parent's room, looking right at me.
I tried not to think about it, but I couldn't help it, especially since I kept hearing the TV in the other room. I could hear it plain as day, and it sounded like 'Gilligan's Island'. Fed up, I finally got up and went into their room to turn the TV off, only to find everything had gone completely silent and the TV was already off. I decided to see if it had that static charge TVs get whenever it's just been turned off, and it did.
I tried to shake it off and went back to the computer to wait for my grandpa to bring me my lunch. It took him another twenty minutes or so to get there and when he showed up, I asked him if he would sit with me for a bit while I ate but I didn't tell him about the Shadow Guy.
I'm now 21, and the Shadow Guy still follows me around. I think he might be attached to one of my stuffed animals, as the TV thing I mentioned before, sounding like it turns on but it really hasn't, keeps happening wherever I bring it. At least he's harmless. Supposedly.
Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:01 pm
Alright so get this.
Once upon a time, late at night me and my two lady friends were chillin' in a game of Left 4 Dead on the XBox. We played the game so much we were bored and started lookin' for somethin' new to do in it. Then it hit us like a Tank in a sombrero. BAM!
We wanted to get outside of the maps.
So we checked out a few videos on youtube, me primarily leading that search. Found this real legit swag of a dude who called himself Gineration. Now me bein' the pimpest of the ladies, I was all, 'A'ight. I got this'. Created a youtube account to message this gent real incognito like. See, we couldn't figure out his game, man. So I went to him.
'Please help us Prince of Glitchers. We want outside this map but we can't handle your shenanigans. Teach us o'master.
-Mistah T. Fyne.'
Bein' on the real he agreed to show up in game the next night. I was like 'cool' and the ladies were 'cool'. So it got real late and we're tryin' on our own, fightin' off the zombie horde while tryin' to move this whale of a garbage bin. Bleep bloop, yo, Mr. T. Fyne got herself a friend request from a sweet Gineration.
So I send this guy an invite. All nice and slick and tell the ladies to brace. All too soon he was up in our party. "Oh s***. You're all ladies."
He was a real gentleman. Moved that bin for us, got us over and took us under his wing. We even heard him brag on the phone 'you're gonna have to hang on I'm in a party of women and I'm not leaving'. Was a real giggle fest. And a start of a beautiful friendship.
So yeah that's the story of how I took charge and got us a sweet Teacher of glitchin'.
A Starving Artist
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bitsie spider
Deathly Demigod
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Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 4:56 am
lD
When one gets married, it's a crazy experience. A lot of the time the planning and waiting process spans over what seems to be foreeeeeeeeeeever to get through! When Matt and I got married, luckily we got everything planned and the day was there in what seemed like a "WHAM BAM! THANK YOU MA'AM!" sort of way with how fast it came up! Two months... it goes by so faaaast!
Our wedding day was hectic yet amazing. Setting up, rehearsal, and the actual wedding and reception! And all of it in my parents' house with a small group of close family and friends~ It was so fun and amazing. Having my daddy walk me down the isle to the man I love. My sister and Uncle Moose standing there with Matt and I. A close family friend that I had known all my life helping the man I love and myself on our first step to a life of wedded bliss.
At the end of the day... the only thing I was sad about was not having gotten a dance with my daddy like most brides get. I'm a daddy's girl, so the lack of space for that very reason made me sad. That little sadness wasn't enough to tamper down the night. Oh no. It was our wedding night! And luckily for us, though we couldn't really afford something big, we had managed to snitch up a suite with a jet tub and all that good stuff at a hotel to get away from my family and spend out first married night together and aloooooooooooone! Once we got to our hotel room, that was it. Call us lost to each other! ... Well... Aside from when we first got in there and flopped on the bed. It was one of those Sleep Number beds, and we spent about... 10-20 minutes laying there and taking turns going from zero to 100, then back down again. We are easily entertained... what can I say? XD But that aside, our wedding night was one like any other newly weds' night would be, or so I would think. It was the following morning that was the most memorable of it all for me.
Now it was morning time, and needless to say we were up and found ourselves caught up in each other once again. I guess you could say there was a sort of 'giddy up cowgirl' sort of thing going on. Then.... completely out of nowhere..... The William Tell Overture aka The Lone Ranger theme song started playing! Everything stopped! I looked at Matt and he looked right up at me and then we just about died laughing as we flopped on the bed! WHAT THE HELL?! It took us a few moments to regain our composure, but when we did we figured out where it came from! The hotel alarm clock! We had set it so we wouldn't sleep in past check out time, and that was the alarm!
Really? The giddy-up and go song? And at this particular time and moment?! WOW!... Life was apparently preparing us for a life time of wtf moments, but this one was certainly one of the most amusing and hilarious things that has happened to us XD
Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:26 pm
An unsuspecting victim
I sat at my computer on a Friday afternoon drinking mint tea in my underwear, this Friday was like any other except the boyfriend and I weren’t sick, which was an ongoing tradition on Valentine’s Day. Sure the clichés bothered me a little but we’d probably go out for dinner eventually which was always fun. Though, I didn’t get as many cuddles as I wanted this morning, since we accidentally slept in this morning, which happens a lot, I hoped he wasn’t late.
“Hey” I say looking up from my Facebook page as he walked in the front door but watched as he hurriedly walked to our room and closed the door. I shrugged it off as tiredness; it had probably been a long day. After a few minutes I hear the bedroom door open and look up when I hear footsteps. I giggle for there is my Jason standing in front of me, nude, except for some pink and white valentines-esk panties. “Happy Valentine’s Day” he says in his sleazy man voice with a sneer on his face.
I adorn my sideways smirk, eyebrow raised as I look up and down his handsome body. His defined abs look as good as when we first met and his ya know was stealth fully tucked into his… new panties? I’d never seen them before, I’m sure he secretly got a thrill when buying them. I roll my eyes at the thought. Before I could say anything he started pulling on some black pants and proceeded to put on and button his shirt that had been lying on the couch previously. “Come on let’s go!” He says throwing his arm out, “you’re going like THAT?” I ask with a stare. “Why not? They’re comfortable!” he laughs, I look down at my undergarments “well, I better put sometime over these too!” I say tugging at his cheek as I pass to the bedroom to dress myself.
LunyMoony-chan
Dapper Humorist
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Roserain
Much Wolf
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:35 pm
The misadventures of a 4 year old at college...
About 20+ years ago, my dad was a math professor at IU Northwest, and my mom worked whatever jobs she could find to make ends meet. Since they were living in Indiana in a tiny apartment, far from any family and too poor for a babysitter, I'd have to go with dad to his lectures on a regular basis. (Since mom's jobs were often not safe for a little kid to hang out at, or just wasn't allowed).
Now, normally a tyke's put into the daycare or preschool offered by the university. (I wish I could remember the name of the place...) But according to my parents, the Dean of Mathematics agreed to let me sit in the classroom as long as I wasn't a disruption.
Needless to say that didn't last very long. xD;
I'm not 100% clear on the order of events, since I only remember bits and pieces of it myself, and my parents sort of pick and choose which part of the tale to tell from time to time. (It's one of those things you never get to live down I suppose.)
I -do- remember sitting in the classroom and being given paper and crayons a lot, and I do remember students sitting by me or even drawing with me. Sometimes dad would let me doodle on the blackboard if I was getting antsy, since I liked drawing on walls and vertical surfaces more.
My dad says that he stepped out of the classroom to use the bathroom, and then ran into a Dean of another department on his way back to class. I don't remember him being gone, but I do recall drawing as usual, and one of the girls that often sat with me told me it was a very pretty rose I was coloring, and I explained that Rose was my middle name, and I wanted to get a tattoo of one. (I had a few temporary tattoos, I loved those things. And the pellets that became little animal sponges. I had gotten a new rose temp tattoo but hadn't gotten to put it on my arm yet, so I was anxious to get home so I could put it on.
I don't remember the whole of it, I just know that the girl and a few of her friends agreed that I should get my rose tattoo. I thought that meant they were taking me home to get it so I could wear it. I remember leaving the classroom with them, but don't recall the rest of the events.
Dad says that when he got back to his classroom, I was obviously no where to be found. He started asking around and some of they guys that sat near that table told him what they overheard and dad went running looking for me. According to him, there was a small tattoo parlor not that far off campus, and that he made the guess that's where they took me. Apparently he found me sitting in one of the chairs, my little feet dangling off to the side, with a massive binder of possible tattoos that I was going through with the burly guy as he was prepping his tools for inking me. I kept asking his opinion on which rose tattoo to get, and one of the girls claimed to be my mom and signed a waiver for me to get the tattoo.
I never did get my tattoo :< Pretty sure none of the students got written up though, because dad was worried that if he got them in trouble, I wouldn't be allowed to sit in the classroom anymore.
There's also a lot of little things that I did that -almost- got my dad in trouble, or even myself. Like running out of the classroom when no one was looking and taking off screeching down the halls. Or sticking my unwanted fries on one of dad's bosses chairs and her sitting on it. (I'll have to ask dad what her position was, I want to say some sort of super superintendent. She wasn't a teacher, but I know she wasn't a Dean.) Uuuuh, putting stickers on the blackboard. Throwing things, or crawling under the chairs when I got bored. Just general mayhem.
My favorite little snippet, and I remember this one clearly, was after one day of school dad picked me up and hefted me over one shoulder since I was being a bundle of squirm and he wanted to get home. We were cutting across campus when I saw someone throw a candy wrapper on the ground and I started screaming and kicking dad until he put me down. I promptly ran over to the wrapper and chased the guy down and yelled at him. Dad says my exact words were "You can't do that! It's not good! You must not care about Mommy Earth!"
Dad claims that he was too flabbergasted to say anything, since apparently I was squawking at his direct boss, the same guy that was allowing me in dad's classroom to begin with; the Dean of Mathematics. I don't remember him saying anything, but dad says he smiled and then laughed before taking the candy wrapper and telling me I was 100% right, he shouldn't litter. I just remember following him until he deposited it in a trash can, and then running back to dad.
Oh, but we're not done yet. This was about how kiddo's like me, children of teachers, are normally sent to the University's daycare/preschool facility, but that I wasn't sent right away. I believe I lasted a whole semester in the classroom before being packed up and shipped out. And the thing that got me in deep enough I still apologize to my dad for.
Dad says it was close to the end of the school year when this happened, but he'd left the room to go across the hall and a bit down to his office to pick up graded papers that needed to be passed out. I immediately jumped from my seat and locked the door behind him, or so I'm told. I -do- remember running to the front of the class and stomping my feet to get everyone's attention and told them I'd be teaching them now. I think I drew something on the chalk board, probably a random doodle, but then I asked the class 'Are there any questions?' since it's something I had heard dad repeat so many times during his lectures. Like a good student, some guy raised his hand and I called on him, and he asked me if I knew what sex was.
Dad says it was about at this time that he was heading back and saw the Dean (Again! I might be remembering wrong, it might've been a fellow teacher, but I think dad said it was the Dean) standing outside the door looking in. Uh oh.
Obviously my dad had a key to his own classroom, something I didn't think of, but he and his colleague walked in right as I was explaining what I knew of sex to my laughing audience.
(For the record, it wasn't a clear understanding, but it was enough to fully embarrass my dad. I knew where babies came from, and I knew my parents made me, but wasn't sure on the how part. Gaia's TOS would smack me for writing down what I said though.)
Needless to say, after that I was sent to the preschool. There's a picture of me with a Ninja Turtles lunch box looking absolutely mutinous while dad's trying to load me up into the car. Dad says when we got there I clung to his leg and wouldn't let go until they bribed me with Mn'M's. I'm pretty sure I never got those Mn'M's. I do remember letting go, and then when I turned around my dad was gone.
I can't tell you too much about the day. I remember being angry there was a line to use the water fountain, and I started timing the kids and yelling at them if they took longer than three seconds. (I was a terror, I know it ._. ) I remember not wanting to sit still for story time and trying to make a run for it. I also remember sitting at the little lunch table with this really annoying boy that kept kicking me under the table. So when he opened his box and had peanut butter and jelly and started complaining that he didn't like it, I took it from him and threw it to try and get him to shut up.
This started a food fight. I had to sit in time out after that. :< (Stupid boy and his stupid peanut butter and jelly sandwich)
Now, dad tells the last of it one way, but I remember it another. Dad claims that I saw a stuffed bunny on the shelf and asked to hold it, and the teacher told me those toys were for nap time only, and I couldn't play with it. What I remember is being tired, and someone else agreeing with me, and I decided it was nap time. There was a room with little cots in it that you pulled down off the walls, but was the playroom when the cots were up. When we got moved into that room, dad says I told the teacher that I heard the phone ringing. I don't remember this. I do know she left the room. (What is the deal with adults leaving the room?) And apparently I locked the door behind her. I also remember pushing some toys in front of the door, but I don't think that did anything. I started making the kids pull the cots down, and I handed out the nap time only toys to everyone, and kept the bunny for myself. Dad also says that the teacher was pounding at the door within seconds of me locking it, and I just stuck my tongue out at her through the glass and kept doing my thing. I don't recall this, but I also don't doubt it. Supposedly it took about twenty minutes for the lady that had the keys to come back from lunch and unlock the door. I don't remember, I was sleeping I'm sure.
I do know that I was forced to sit in time out until dad came and got me, and he was so exasperated with me. According to him, he got a call while he was in the middle of class and was paged to come take it. The lady told him he had to come pick up his daughter immediately, and she wasn't allowed to come back. When dad asked what was wrong the lady said 'let's just say she's a natural born leader, now come get her.'
I just know I kept the bunny, and brought it with me when they made me sit in the University's admin office for the last few days of the semester. (It looked like a cubicle farm.) I got a babysitter once the new semester started up, not that I remember much about that. (Besides watching a lot of Simpsons).
And I still have that stuffed rabbit. <3 (Victory!)
(Phew! I guess that's more like a bunch of little stories in one. But to understand the whole preschool thing I felt the rest of it was important xD I'll ask dad the name of the Dean next time I call him. I wish I remembered more. It's all old family jokes now anyhow.
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:03 pm
You guys are all AMAZING! You all have such awesome stories to tell me, and I am honored you all chose me to speak it! Thanks to them all I've been sleeping much better. But sadly, I have to narrow it down. And I had been thinking about it all day...
And the winner is, Peter D Hook
Peter D Hook
Please take the image and post in my certing thread as soon as you can!
