This is my draft for my novel that I'm currently working on. It's called A Secret World, and I wanted to share it with everyone here. Please feel free to leave me some tips, and let me know if you'd like to read some more or if I should change it up.
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The black emptiness swirled in the darkness, forming invisible shapes. A black-haired maiden stood within the darkness. Her blood red eyes darted around, the pale skin of her neck whipping around to find whatever it was that was terrorizing her. Ashlyn wanted to run, but her legs refused to move at her command. She stood frozen in the nothingness. A small gleam of light caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She stared at the light, as it separated itself into two pairs of blank eyes, staring into her own. The first pair of had a deep voice emanating from it.
“Eyes like emerald stones…”
“Eyes like the silver moon…” the other pair of eyes muttered.
“The witch must come join us,” the voices chanted together emotionlessly, “The witch can only be you…”
“I AM NOT A WITCH!” Ashlyn screamed as she sat up quickly in her bed, still dreaming. She panted heavily as she slowly regained her surroundings. Sighing, she placed a hand on her forehead that was covered in cold sweat.
A dream, she thought reassuringly, it was just a dream. There’s no way that I’m a witch or that those voices were real.
She tiredly crawled out of bed as her baby blue nightgown flowed down her legs. Ashlyn stretched her arms up then looked around her bedroom for some decent clothes to put on.
It’s been like this since my birthday. Every night, it would become much more clear than the night before, but this time it was clear as day. It was as if something is going to happen soon, she paused for a moment, Yeah right. I’m no witch. I’m just a normal high school girl. Nothing special.
Ashlyn walked down the narrow ivory hallway toward the front door. She looked around the small living room that contained a chair, a couch, and a coffee table facing a decent sized television. Sighing solemnly, as she spotted her mother, Emma, walking out of the bedroom into the kitchen.
Emma’s blond hair looked almost white in the gloomy morning sun. Her eyes glistened like a manicured lawn, and she smiled so brightly, it was as if the world was smiling back at her. However, the pale pink pajama set only made her look more pale and fragile than normal.
Ashlyn felt a twinge in her chest. A strong, guilty feeling that made her heart sink. Her mother was the only family she had, and if she lost her today…
“Ashlyn, honey, what’s wrong?” her mother asked.
She knows what’s wrong, Ashlyn thought bitterly, She doesn’t need to ask.
“Nothing,” Ashlyn muttered quietly. She looked down at her feet.
“I know something’s wrong. What is it?”
The silence thickened the already suffocating atmosphere. Ashlyn hesitated for a moment, “I just want to make sure you’re okay…”
Her mother stared at her, “Of course I’m alright. What would make you think that I’m not?” She walked over toward her daughter, with arms wide open. Ashlyn ran up to her mother, meeting her halfway, and wrapped her arms as tight as she dared around her mother’s frail body.
Tears welled up in Ashlyn’s eyes. Her heart stung painfully as they both stood quietly in each other’s embrace. After a few moments of painful, yet comforting silence, Ashlyn stepped away from her mother, backing up toward the mahogany door. Emma smiled more brightly as she watched her daughter grab the doorknob.
“Please be careful on your way to school. Make sure you watch for cars. And please try to make a few friends. I want you to have fun, and not worry about me so much.”
Ashlyn sighed a bit annoyingly, “Mom…”
“I know, I worry too much,” she chuckled lightly, “I just want you to have fun in school.”
“I know that,” Ashlyn giggled almost quietly, “Anyways, I should head to school.”
Giving quick good byes to each other, the black-haired girl rushed herself out the door, and walked down the sidewalk through the rain of maple and gold colored leaves.
Ashlyn approached the dark, tall, and old building that was the high school. There was a stonewall with a dirtied golden plaque that engraved the words “Dark Falls High School” in front of the school building. She stared up at the clock tower that loomed high over the school, like a chapel above a church. It seemed to have an ancient feeling to the schools atmosphere. The different shades of red bricks immersed in her own red eyes as she stared at the building.
After a few silent moments, she looked down at her feet, sighing. Emma was very important to her. How could she not be upset about her mother’s terminal illness? She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. Ashlyn shook her head violently to keep away the tears.
No… Ashlyn thought, I won’t cry anymore! Mother is going to live for a long time. She’s not going to die today!
She shoved off that horrible thought to the back of her mind. Her mother was going to be alive. Always. Ashlyn kept staring down at her feet as she forced herself to take a step onto the cold stone stairway, ascending toward the doors of the high school. She took a few more steps, finally raising her eyes up to look at the door, only to catch a glimpse of black hair and a green coat of some kind coming straight at her. Ashlyn felt her shoulder collide with the person. Her foot slid off of the step she was standing on, and her entire body was falling backwards. Ashlyn closed her eyes tightly, preparing herself for the impact with the sidewalk.
However, Ashlyn didn’t feel the concrete against her body. She fell against something warm, something solid… She fell down against another body. Ashlyn slowly opened up her eyes, hoping she didn’t fall against the person who knocked her down. Her eyes stared away from the person that she was still leaning on, and she soon felt an arm resting itself on her shoulders. She also heard a deep, gentle voice.
“Excuse me, Miss. Are you alright?”
Ashlyn looked up at the man with his arm around her. Her eyes met with his emerald green irises. Her cheeks flushed a deep shade red as he stared back at her, smiling with a gentlemanly grin. Ashlyn nervously pushed herself away from the gentleman as a voice whispered quietly in her mind. Eyes like emerald stones…
“I-I’m alright,” Ashlyn stammered quickly, forcing herself to forget about the voice in her mind.
Her eyes glazed over his entire body slowly, taking the time to look at him. His fiery red-trimmed bangs slightly curved the shapes of his cheeks, and the rest of his hair was slightly combed back neatly to keep most of it out of his face. He wore a black tailcoat over what looked like a white satin dress shirt. Tucked neatly under the buttoned tailcoat was a red silk tie that matched the fiery color of his hair. He wore black dress pants, complimented with black dress shoes, and white gloves. He was dressed up neatly, as if he were going to a fancy party for the rich people in town. Ashlyn hadn’t realized she was staring at him until he gently stroked her cheek with one of his satin-gloved hands, breaking her away from taking him in. Her cheeks blazed more red from blushing.
“Miss, are you sure you’re alright? You look a bit pale.”
Ashlyn choked out a false giggle, knowing the paleness of her skin was natural as she stammered once more, “Y-Yes, I’m alright.”
The man flashed his gentlemanly grin at her once more, “Well, that’s good,” he looked over his shoulder, “Mister Nickedemus, please be careful. This young lady almost got hurt because of your recklessness.”
Ashlyn followed the man’s gaze, as she pushed herself away from him, to see another man standing close by behind him. The other man wore a green trench coat, the same color she caught a glimpse of as he knocked her off of the stairs. She stared right at him, her eyes following his raven black locks down the sides of his face and onto his shoulders. He wore a cool grey V-neck shirt underneath his coat, black jeans, and some sort of black boots. The man was handsome, just as handsome as the gentleman who had saved her from her fall.
She noticed he was staring at her. The man had silver eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. As Ashlyn stared into his eyes, the same voice whispered inside of her head. Eyes like the silver moon…
The man, who was called Nickedemus, looked over at the other man, slightly glaring at him, “It wasn’t my fault, Michael. That girl should’ve been watching where she was going before running into me. I don’t think I’m as reckless as her.”
Ashlyn gaped at him, appalled by his rudeness. Never in her life had she been ignored like that. She glared at him like she was about to tackle him to the ground. Michael chuckled lightly, catching Ashlyn’s attention.
“Well, Mister Nickedemus, you sure have a way of getting a lady’s attention,” he looked over at Ashlyn, bowing slightly to her, “Please excuse our rudeness. My name is Michael Jones. This is my colleague, Mister Nickedemus Smith. We’re terribly sorry to have troubled you on your way to school.”
Ashlyn waved her hands at him, flustered, “I’m alright. Really. It was no trouble at all.”
“I’m glad you are doing well,” he gave another bow before he turned his back to her, “Farewell, Madam.”
Michael walked off toward a black corvette, standing near the passenger side. Ashlyn stared at the car, astonished. It looked simply amazing. The car shined brightly as sunrays glistened off of the car’s exterior. As she stared at the car, Nickedemus walked up toward her, standing too close for her comfort. Ashlyn froze in her place. She didn’t want to move to show her fear of this mysterious man. He leaned down, his warm breath tingling her earlobe.
He whispered softly, “I know I will be seeing you again in the near future… Ashlyn Robbin.”
Ashlyn watched Nickedemus walk over to the car, and crawl inside as Michael opened and closed the door for him. Her face flared wildly with red. He was testing her patience so much at that moment. She watched Michael get into the driver’s side of corvette as the school bell rang out. Before she could even watch them leave, Ashlyn turned her heel and ran up the stairs to get to her class.
Nickedemus watched Ashlyn run up the stairs from the mirror on the side of the car. He kept watching her as Michael buckled up his seat belt. Michael looked over at him, surprised that Nickedemus was still watching after her, even after she had left.
Michael chuckled, “This is new. This is the first time you actually stared at a girl. Is there something about her that interests you, Mister Nickedemus?”
He looked over at the smiling butler, sighing, “It’s nothing,” he looked out the window, watching the golden leaves flutter to the ground.
“Are you sure? This is very unusual about you,” he started up the car and started driving down onto the main street through Dark Falls, “Could it be that the girl is someone you remember from your past?”
Nickedemus didn’t answer Michael. He just stared out the window as the buildings blurred passed the car. He closed his eyes, keeping the image of her black hair flowing behind her in the breeze as she ran up the stone steps toward her school. He thought about the thought of her staring at him when she noticed him, her eyes slowly taking him in.
There is something interesting about her, Nickedemus thought, Something interesting that stirs up memories.
Ashlyn sat in the lobby of the dance room, stretching out her legs and arms. She watched the other girls in her class chatting to one another. They all wore the plain white or baby blue ballet uniforms that didn’t have the skirt billowing out shortly over the pelvic bone. Today was the day for the girls in Ashlyn’s ballet class. A worldwide known ballet troupe arrived, announcing auditions for any and all ballet students for a chance to join the troupe. Solemnly, Ashlyn sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest as she stared down at the floor covered with light brown cushioned mats.
That man knew my name, Ashlyn thought, What was his name again? Nickedemus? I think I’ve heard that name before. In any case, he knew my name! This isn’t right! Some guy I never even met before shouldn’t know my name! And what the hell was he doing in my school anyway? I don’t like this at all!
Ashlyn gripped her legs tighter, bringing them as close to her as she possibly could. She tried to calm down and not think about what had happened out in front of her school. She sighed again to calm herself down as another girl walked up to her, standing straight in front of Ashlyn. She looked up to see Lina. Lina smirked down at her as she tossed back a lock of her golden hair behind her shoulder. She always wore her hair down, as it dangled at the small of her back. Lina wore her pristine white ballet uniform that had the small skirt barely covering the pelvic bone. Even though the rest of the class wore white or baby blue, she stood out as much as Ashlyn did. She was radiantly beautiful, as compared to Ashlyn in her red violet uniform.
Lina giggled sarcastically, “Oh my. Did you have a rough morning? This isn’t like you to be MORE antisocial than you normally are.”
Ashlyn shot off a warning glare up at her, “I’m perfectly fine. I’m just not as arrogant as you are,” she could vaguely see a cute girl with brown hair in a bun coming out of the dance room crying out of the corner of her eye.
Lina watched the crying girl run off toward the locker room, then focused her attention back at Ashlyn, “Oh dear me. I swear that was you at first when I saw her run off crying like that, being told that she wasn’t accepted into the ballet troupe.”
“I honestly could care less if I didn’t make it,” she sighed and stood up, “Besides, I’m not placing all of my hopes into this audition anyways, like the arrogant princess standing in front of me.”
The two girls glared at each other viciously as a middle-aged woman popped her head out of the dance room. She looked down at her clipboard for a moment, then looked up as her strawberry blonde ponytail swayed from side to side with each movement she made, “Miss Lina Asobi. It’s now your turn. If you would please step this way, we’re now ready for your audition performance.”
Lina smiled graciously at the middle-aged woman, and pranced off toward the dance room, giving Ashlyn one last look that said, “I’m better than you.” Ashlyn glared at Lina before she disappeared behind the door. She sighed and looked around to see the other girls whispering about her. Ashlyn slunk down in her spot as she listened in onto a conversation between two girls.
“Oh wow,” one girl whispered, “Lina is so amazing. I wish I could have as much talent as her.”
“Yeah,” whispered another girl, “It’s such a shame that she’s on the same wavelength as Ashlyn. I feel so sorry for Lina.”
“I agree. There’s nothing special about Ashlyn, so how come she has so much talent like Lina? It’s not fair to the rest of us.”
“You know, I heard a lot about Ashlyn’s family. She comes from a disturbed background.”
“Oh, tell me!”
Ashlyn kept listening to the girls. Her blood boiled at the words being uttered of her past.
“You know,” the second girl whispered, “I heard Ashlyn’s a b*****d child. Her father left her when she was born. I guess he knew how much of a burden she’d become.”
“What about her mother?”
“Didn’t you hear? Her mother is going to die soon due to a disease. She’ll die happily in order to leave that freak alone.”
Ashlyn stood up, storming over to the girls. She didn’t like anyone talking about her mother. She could care less about anyone talking about her, but idolizing her father and hoping her mother died was too much to bear.
She grabbed both of the girls’ shoulders, gripping them tightly, “What was that about my mother?”
The first girl shook fearfully, almost breaking under pressure, “W-We were saying how sorry we were about your mother’s illness…”
The second girl snapped, “Oh knock it off, Naomi,” she glared over at Ashlyn, slapping her hand off of her shoulder, “You’re such a stupid freak, Ashlyn! It’s no wonder your father left you! He knew what a freak you are! He’s a smart man to do so!
Ashlyn slapped the girl’s cheek. She exploded, “Don’t you DARE idolize my father! He’s not someone you should admire! How would you feel if your father ditched your family, huh?!”
Naomi grabbed Ashlyn’s arm gently. She tried to calm her down, “Ashlyn, please… She didn’t mean it…”
Before any of the girls could answer, Lina squealed excitingly as she held a blue piece of paper in her hands. She saw Ashlyn standing over with the girls and waved the paper in front of Ashlyn’s face, after skipping toward the girls.
“Look here, Ash. I got into the ballet troupe. I hope you’re ready for them to say ‘you’re not accepted.’”
Ashlyn stormed off from the three girls, ignoring them. She could hear Lina’s sarcastically loud laughter as the middle-aged woman popped her head out of the door again. She looked down at her clipboard as her strawberry blond hair bounced around. She looked up, finally announcing the next person to audition, “Miss Ashlyn Robbin. You’re next. Please come this way.”
She looked over at the woman, “Oh, yes,” she responded.
Ashlyn trotted off toward the dance room as the woman held the door open kindly for her. She looked across the dance room to see a long table with three fairly old judges sitting there, writing down something onto a piece of paper. Ashlyn became nervous as she reached the middle of the room and looked over at them, her heart pounding wildly. She clasped her hands tightly behind her back, trying to calm herself down. One of the judges, a man, looked at both sides of him, nodding at the two women before focusing on her.
He cleared his throat, “Now, Miss Robbin, what song is it you are going to be dancing to?”
She stammered, “Um… A-Ave Maria.”
As the judges wrote down the name of the song, Ashlyn sighed quietly.
Calm down, she thought, who cares if you get into this troupe? It’s just an audition, so you might as well dance with everything you’ve got.
Ashlyn stood there silently, waiting patiently for the song to start. She could hear the same voice inside her head, like the one from earlier, as she readied herself to dance.
The rhythm of air and the movement of earth shall bring out the graceful, yet dangerous side of the witch.
She tried to push the voice to the back of her mind as she prepared herself, awaiting the song to begin, but the voice persisted to leave. It chanted those words over and over. Ashlyn closed her eyes, slowly giving in to the voice. She could feel the earth beneath her feet and the air beyond her fingertips as she began dancing to the melody. Her body moved swiftly and gracefully around the room. There was no routine or pattern to her movements. She simply danced to how she felt. She felt the light breeze lift her up and safely bringing her back down to the ground as she opened her eyes to see a surprised look on the judges’ faces once the song ended.
They all clapped as Ashlyn’s face turned red. She bowed politely to them as they wrote down several notes. She waited patiently for the judges to give out their answer. The old man looked at the women sitting beside him after a few moments and sighed.
“I’m very sorry, Miss Robbin, but I cannot allow you to become a part of our ballet troupe. Keep practicing and maybe you’ll join us someday.”
Ashlyn bowed politely, “Thank you…” she walked out of the room, trying to keep a brave face enough to just pass Lina in the lobby.
As the old man watched her walk off, one of the female judges asked, “Why wouldn’t you let her join? She has great talent. It’s a shame to let her go like this.”
“It can’t be helped,” he replied, “After all, we can’t ignore what they want.”
Ashlyn changed out of her uniform slowly in the locker room, disappointed that she didn’t get accepted. She sighed sadly.
It can’t be helped, she thought, I guess I wasn’t good enough to join the troupe. Unless… Those men from this morning! What if THEY had something to do with me not joining the troupe? It would explain how they knew my name, but why me, though? Why? It doesn’t matter anyway. I can spend much more time with my mom now. That’s really the only good thing I got out of it. I should probably go tell her that I didn’t make it.
Ashlyn quickly rushed out of the locker room and out the front doors of the high school. She wanted to tell her mom everything about what happened today. Meeting those strange men, failing the audition, but more importantly, how she’ll use the time to spend with her mother for a long while. She jogged down the leaf-covered sidewalk to get to her house, having decided to skip her afternoon classes. Ashlyn almost ran the entire way home, and soon stopped in front of her house to catch her breath. She looked over at her small two-bedroom sandy brown house to see that the front door was opened. It wasn’t quite opened though… It looked like someone had ripped it open to get inside. Ashlyn could see the door was barely hanging on its hinges as her eyes widened with fear.
She dashed over toward her house, barely stepping into the doorway before stopping in front of the couch that was lying in the middle of the room. The entire living room was covered with stuffing from the cushions, and the drapes over the windows were lacerated. Ashlyn stared wide-eyed toward the kitchen, seeing that it was also covered with many things being tossed around. Ashlyn cautiously walked over toward the kitchen, seeing scratches that were scraped down the cabinets. On the refrigerator, she saw part of it was covered in blood.
Is that… blood…? Ashlyn thought, Oh no… Mom!
She gasped loudly, and ran toward her mother’s bedroom, following the trail of blood. Her mind reeled as she kept looking around at the scarred walls and the bloodstained floor. Ashlyn called out for her mother, but there was no response. She feared of what she would find once she got to the bedroom. She ran into the doorway and came to a halt as soon as she spotted the giant splatter of blood on the wall. Ashlyn’s eyes followed the blood down the wall to a headless corpse that lay limp against the wall. The body wore a bloodstained pink pajama shirt and matching pajama pants.
Ashlyn’s wide crimson eyes filled with tears, “…Mom…?”
