The camera fades-in to show the almighty Swag Master and Champion of Swag, The WWE:E Asylum Champion Cartwright. He is fully decked-out in bling tonight. Gold chains. Gold watches. Gold teeth. The works. He wears his specially redesigned Asylum Championship around his neck as his personal DJ, Rick Muhammad.
Rick: "BUR-BUR-BUR-BUUUUUUUUUUUR! It's DJ Rick here with the sickest man the wrestlin' world has ever seen innit?! The Master of all things Swag! HASHTAG SWAG! The Swagtacular, CARTWRIGHT! BUR-BUR-BUR-BUUUUUUUUUUUR!"
Cartwright looks very happy with his introduction. You can tell because he is smiling and nodding his head.
Cartwright: "Bro that intro was so tight, all the chicks are gonna wants to be banged by you now blud! 'Aight, I can hear them all gettin' wet as I speak you know?! You is gonna get drowned tonight you know?!"
Rick looks like he might be blushing, but his huge shades that cover half of his face make it difficult to know for sure.
Rick: "BUUUUUUUUUUUR! 'Aight, so tonight you defend The Swag Championship against the former champion, the returning Salem Croft who totally has no swag by the way, in a ladder match you know?! Blud, how do you feel about this, you get me?!"
Cartwright pulls a confused look.
Cartwright: "I get you! I tink' it is fully wrong! This Salem guy, he does nothing for like four months and he thinks that he can just hip-hop right in to a title match?! Ridiculous! But management let it happen yeah?! So tonight, after I fully merk my unprepared and lazy opponent, who must be as rusty in the ring as his mom, with the ladder and take what will always be mine, it's all on managements hands!"
Rick: "EPIC MOM DISS YOOOOOO! So you think yous is goin' to win?"
Rick prods Cartwrights chest as he asks.
Cartwright: "Blud, I knows I is goin' to win! I am a proven, fighting, swaggerin' Champion! What's this guy done lately?! He done nothing! I'm feeling so fly about tonight that I ain't even wearing my lucky gold watch!"
Rick: "BUR-BUR-BUR-BUUUUUUUUUUUR! It's DJ Rick here with the sickest man the wrestlin' world has ever seen innit?! The Master of all things Swag! HASHTAG SWAG! The Swagtacular, CARTWRIGHT! BUR-BUR-BUR-BUUUUUUUUUUUR!"
Cartwright looks very happy with his introduction. You can tell because he is smiling and nodding his head.
Cartwright: "Bro that intro was so tight, all the chicks are gonna wants to be banged by you now blud! 'Aight, I can hear them all gettin' wet as I speak you know?! You is gonna get drowned tonight you know?!"
Rick looks like he might be blushing, but his huge shades that cover half of his face make it difficult to know for sure.
Rick: "BUUUUUUUUUUUR! 'Aight, so tonight you defend The Swag Championship against the former champion, the returning Salem Croft who totally has no swag by the way, in a ladder match you know?! Blud, how do you feel about this, you get me?!"
Cartwright pulls a confused look.
Cartwright: "I get you! I tink' it is fully wrong! This Salem guy, he does nothing for like four months and he thinks that he can just hip-hop right in to a title match?! Ridiculous! But management let it happen yeah?! So tonight, after I fully merk my unprepared and lazy opponent, who must be as rusty in the ring as his mom, with the ladder and take what will always be mine, it's all on managements hands!"
Rick: "EPIC MOM DISS YOOOOOO! So you think yous is goin' to win?"
Rick prods Cartwrights chest as he asks.
Cartwright: "Blud, I knows I is goin' to win! I am a proven, fighting, swaggerin' Champion! What's this guy done lately?! He done nothing! I'm feeling so fly about tonight that I ain't even wearing my lucky gold watch!"
Blocka La Flame
