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 Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:07 am
I have some trepidation creating this topic, mostly because I have pretty strong feelings about it and I've seen discussions about home schooling get pretty vicious, so...let's all do our best to play grown ups, okay?
In theory, I love the idea of home schooling. Every child can learn at their own rate, implement the methods that work best for them, and they will always get enough attention from the teacher, whether that teacher is their parent or an educator that the parents have hired. Lots of crazy smart, highly intelligent people struggled in school for one reason or another. The fact is, every child is different, and so every child is going to learn differently. When you chuck 40 kids into a classroom with one teacher, it just stands to reason that not all those kids are going to thrive academically, even if they're very smart, and even if the teacher is very good.
Home schooling seems like such a perfect solution! Kids can have lesson plans specifically tailored to their strengths and weaknesses. They're not being forced to waste time doing busywork for the sake of getting good marks. It can make learning fun rather than having it be a chore. And what about socialising? Well, they can participate in sports, attend various after-school programmes, and parents who home school can work with other homeschooling parents to organise social events and field trips with other kids who are home schooled. What could possibly go wrong?
But in reality, I've concluded that home schooling is a lot like communism: it looks great on paper, but it's a disaster when it's applied to the real world. I give private violin lessons to both children and adults, but the majority of my students are children. Many students I've had over the years have been home schooled, and...I'm sorry, but these kids are awful. They're undisciplined, they're self-entitled, they're rude (to me, their parents, their siblings, other students of mine...EVERYONE), and they have absolutely no work ethic.
There was this one little (home schooled) boy who, during his lesson, was clearly frustrated with how little progress he was making. I told him to try to not be too discouraged, and that if he was just able to commit to practising at home more often, he would improve by leaps and bounds. He replied by saying, "The only reason I'm no good is because you're a sh*t teacher! Isn't it your job to make people good at playing violin? I bet I could play better than you if I had a teacher who could actually do their f*cking job!" Keep in mind, this kid is 10 or 11 years old, and while profane language usually doesn't phase me in the slightest, it does when it's coming out of the mouth of a spoiled pre-pubescent child. I said that I was sorry he felt that way, and then tried to explain how learning to play a musical instrument actually works; that regardless of how good the teacher is, or even how talented the student is, you need to practise to get good at anything. When I informed his mother of his behaviour, she tore into me about how I was destroying his confidence by telling him that he wasn't trying hard enough and that I should be ashamed of myself for trying to manipulate my students into doing my job for them (in this instance, I guess telling students to practise is telling them to do my job for me, since I'm clearly just refusing to use my magic wand that turns 10-year-olds into Itzhak Perlman over night rolleyes )
Which brings me around to the other thing about home schooling that drives me crazy: the parents. Without fail, every single home school parent I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with is flakey (getting their kids to lessons late, or just not showing up at all and not calling to cancel), lets their kids walk all over them and treat them like crap while giving into their every whim, and is convinced that all their children are perfect in every way and that if there is ever a problem, anyone and anything EXCEPT their precious angel is to blame. Oh, and they also always seem to have LOADS of kids and usually insist on bringing the loudest, most obnoxious members of their brood inside my studio while I'm trying to give their child a violin lesson. And of course, they just let the kids run wild and don't supervise them at all. I can't keep anything breakable in my teaching studio anymore, because it WILL get broken. I can't even have my nice electric keyboard there because the last time I did, one of these brats spilled soda on it and rendered it completely useless and beyond repair. And the mother of this demon-spawn didn't even apologise to me OR chastise her kid in any way.
So of course, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out why the kids are so awful. Their parents just don't teach them basic things like manners, responsibility, personal accountability, etc. These children are really just victims of horrible parenting.
Now, of course, I know that my personal experience does not represent every home schooled child and every home school family. I know there are good parents out there who educate their children well and that there are home-schooled kids out there who are perfectly lovely children. I bolded that statement in the hopes of avoiding three posts in a row calling me out on making a fallacious generalisation based on anecdotal evidence.
So, how do you feel about home schooling? If you were home schooled, what was your experience like? Did you ever want to attend a "normal" (public or private) school? If you were not home schooled, what was your school experience like? Did you ever wish to be home schooled? If and/or when you have children, would you consider home schooling them? Why or why not?
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Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:39 am
Excellent questions about homeschooling darling.
1.How do you feel about home schooling?
A: I think homeschooling is okay because in my opinion like everything it does have it's pros and cons. In this day an age honestly it's leaning more towards cons.
2. Did you ever want to attend a "normal" (public or private) school? If you were not home schooled, what was your school experience like?
A: I attended a public school,pretty well actually I had manners and self discipline even at a young age,but with my ADHD it was kinda hard for me to keep still or for people to gain my attention when something else came along. However thanks to my family I over came my ADHD and am able to focus in school in now.
3. Did you ever wish to be home schooled?
A:Yes.
4.If and/or when you have children, would you consider home schooling them? Why or why not?
A: That's a good question and yes because I won't let them get away with anything and I could help them better their manners and it makes it easier upon you as a parent because you don't have to worry about them being on lockdown or being in the middle of a school shooting.
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Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:54 pm
Just as a side note, despite how I may sometimes come off, I'm actually really good with kids and generally truly enjoy teaching them. I just want to make it clear that at least most of the instances in which I have a "problem student," it really is because of the child, the parent(s), or both. I adore most of my students and most of them usually seem to respond to me very well. I'm not saying this out of vanity, I'm just clarifying that my attitude about the home schooled little monsters isn't rooted in an inherent dislike for or inability to effectively interact with children in general. And of course, I do get students who attend "normal" schools who drive me crazy, too, but I have yet to have a student who is home schooled who is...well, not a pain in my arse, for lack of a better term (at least if they've been home schooled exclusively; I've had a few good ones that were only home schooled for a year or two).
I personally went to a private Catholic school for compulsory education, and I feel that I got an excellent education. If I'm a complete basket case (which I am), it's certainly not the fault of the school I attended. That being said, however, the school I attended had a very rigorous academic programme and was extremely structured and strict. I flourished in that environment (at least academically), but I can definitely understand how it wouldn't be right for everyone.
As for what I'd do with my non-existent hypothetical children...home schooling them would be an absolute last resort. If I was raising children somewhere that did not offer quality compulsory education and/or if my child(ren) had a learning disability of something that would make them severely disadvantaged in a more normal school, I would probably home school them, although I'd hire a professional educator rather than teaching them myself. Not because I think I'm too stupid to teach them, but because it's my personal opinion that kids tend to work harder for an outsider. Children love to ignore and/or rebel against their parents, especially from puberty and beyond, so to me, it just makes sense to have someone who is a) less familiar to the child and b) actually qualified to teach.
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Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:39 pm
SinfulGuillotine So, how do you feel about home schooling? I think that homeschooling looks great on paper because there is so much potential for it to be great... but it's not the right option for everyone. Bad parenting is an obvious problem--if the parents are already raising their children terribly, then homeschooling just gives them even more opportunity to create little monsters than if their kids attended a public school. And even if the parents' hearts are in the right place, some people just do not have the knack for teaching, and they may not even notice that they're really giving their child a worse education than if they left it up to professionals. But let's say we've got someone with great parenting, disciplinarian, and teaching skills. Homeschooling is starting to look like a good option, but even then, it depends on the child. Like you said, children will learn better if they are taught with a method that works best for them, which is why creating a custom personalized homeschool education plan can be so beneficial--but for some kids the method that works best is the classic large classroom setting. And of course, if the parents have a bunch of kids who are all being homeschooled at once, the education experience might be even less personalized than if they just went to a normal school, because the parents are trying to teach kids of different grade levels at the same time. One-on-one teaching is great, but some parents homeschool by just telling their kids to read their textbooks without doing any one-on-one teaching at all. Even if parents are very well suited to homeschooling, and have an excellent one-on-one personalized homeschooling plan, it becomes a problem if they don't want to admit that their kid would be better off in a regular school due to personality, discipline issues, or learning type . But if the parents are well suited to homeschooling (good disciplinarian planning and teaching skills) and if the children are well suited to being homeschooled (self motivated, respect their parents) then homeschooling can be a wonderful thing! SinfulGuillotine If you were home schooled, what was your experience like? I was home-schooled for three years--grades 3, 4, and 5. Even before that, my mom supplemented my public school education by teaching me to read, and teaching me basic math skills before the school system addressed them in class. Homeschooling is not the right option for everyone, but it was great for me. My mom is a great teacher--she purchased wonderful homeschooling workbooks and curriculum and she spent time going through the material with me instead of leaving me to my own devices. I was well disciplined and treated my mom with the same respect I showed my grade 1 and 2 teachers. I was self-motivated, so I did all my homework without the need of grades to motivate me. I was very introverted so I didn't mind being at home with my mom all year. It worked out really well for me--yet my sister was taught by the same person and went through the same curriculum, and homeschooling absolutely failed for her. She is a perfect example of the kind of child who is not well suited to homeschooling. She did not respect my mom at all and refused to listen to her, she threw a fit whenever my mom tried to make her do homework, and she constantly complained about not seeing her friends every day. Ironically, the whole reason my mom started homeschooling us in the first place was because my sister was not doing well in the public school system. Some kids just don't want to learn no matter how they're taught. SinfulGuillotine Did you ever want to attend a "normal" (public or private) school? After transferring from public school to homeschool, I didn't want to go back. The system worked well for me, and I enjoyed spending time with my family more than a large group of peers. I was home schooled along with my two siblings as well as my cousins who lived next door. After a few years though, everyone else decided they'd had enough and transferred back to regular school--homeschooling would have been a lot more boring without everyone else, so I transferred back with them. I was always planning on going to "normal" high school, I just re-entered the public school system sooner than I might have liked. SinfulGuillotine If you were not home schooled, what was your school experience like? For the majority of my education I was in public school and I excelled academically, in math especially. So the public school system actually did work very well for me, homeschooling just made learning more fun, because of the fun programs that my mom purchased and because my mom is such a fun person. At the same time, public school had lots of fun things that weren't available in homeschool too, so I ended up enjoying both systems. As far as which educated me better, it depends on the subject. In homeschool I learned a lot more math because I picked up on it really quickly and flew through the curriculum at a faster pace than average, so when I went back to public school I was actually several units ahead in algebra (though not geometry). They don't teach grammar at all in public schools, and I can really see how learning proper grammar in homeschool helped me do well in english class all through high school. There were some subjects that I didn't touch on at all during homeschool, like french, so I was behind when I went back to public school, but I caught up quickly enough. All in all, I think my homeschool and public school experiences complimented each other very well, and I liked having the combination of both, SinfulGuillotine If and/or when you have children, would you consider home schooling them? Why or why not? I plan on homeschooling when I have children, the main reason being that I plan on being a stay-at-home mom and I love spending time with children and I love teaching (I actually wanted to go to university to become an elementary school teacher but it didn't work out), so homeschooling would basically be the most fun thing ever. I plan on homeschooling my kids from kindergarten up to at least grade 2 or 3, because: When kids get into middle-school/highschool level and start into more complicated academics it is best to have teachers who are specialized in the field, thus "normal" school; when they are in the "middle" grades (4-6) I think homeschooling and public school would be equally advantageous, so I would let my kids choose which they would prefer; for the really young grades though, I think homeschooling will holds multiple advantages over public school. First off, kindergarten is basically like educational day care. I'm already planning on staying home to raise my kids, and I'm fully capable of teaching ABCs and crafts, so why pack my children off to public school when I can spend valuable bonding time with them at home? As for grades 1-3, they don't teach math very well, they don't teach reading very well, and they don't teach grammar or spelling at all anymore. I mean, they do the best they can with a class of 30 kids, but while their methods might work for a few of the kids, most of the kids end up learning a lot less that they might with a one-on-one teaching environment. And those early grades are the most important for learning fundamental math and English skills, because if they aren't properly taught the basics they will struggle in those subjects for the rest of their lives. I want to teach my kids in their early grades to give them a firm foundation of knowledge that the public school system just doesn't create--after that I can hand them over to the "normal" teachers and that foundation can be built upon.
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:51 pm
Thanks for sharing all that. I think your situation is somewhat unique, having experienced several years of both home schooling and "normal" school, so it was great to hear your perspective.
It's interesting how differently you and your sister reacted to the same educational situation. I cling to the belief that anyone will enjoy learning if approached the right way (for the individual), although that could just be an idealistic delusion. I think a lot of kids just get it in their heads that they hate school it any and all permutations, so they're going to kick and scream through anything that they associate with being "school," but that doesn't necessarily mean that they hate learning. Nearly everyone at least enjoys learning more about things that already interest them on their own terms, so I don't think it's the actual learning of new information that some kids resist. If there was a good way to trick kids into not realising when they're being educated, I think everyone would like school.
I know my parents worked with me and my siblings on some basic educational stuff, I think before we even entered school, or at least before we started learning about it in school. I know I entered school when I was five or six already being relatively literate and knowing basic arithmetic, and one of my earliest memories is of my dad teaching me to read...I just never thought of that as "home schooling," I guess because it wasn't a replacement for going to school, it was just supplemental.
I agree that home schooling has the potential to be great in the right hands, which is part of why I find it so infuriating when it's so obviously gone awry.
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:20 pm
my parents taught me at home for a year, because i had been falling behind.
at first i missed socializing with my friends but we worked it out so that we could get together a lot.
they even had study sessions at my place.
we found a group of home schooling families who put on field trips and had athletic events, too.
it worked out okay but took a lot of time for my folks, who also had their regular jobs to take care of, naturally.
after a year i was back up to my grade level in all the courses so i went back.
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Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 7:17 am
beaulolais my parents taught me at home for a year, because i had been falling behind. at first i missed socializing with my friends but we worked it out so that we could get together a lot. they even had study sessions at my place. we found a group of home schooling families who put on field trips and had athletic events, too. it worked out okay but took a lot of time for my folks, who also had their regular jobs to take care of, naturally. after a year i was back up to my grade level in all the courses so i went back. To me, that just sounds like good parenting. And I'd imagine it was much easier for you to catch up in the course of a school year with tailor-made lesson plans. I remember I got mono towards the end of one school year and missed close to a month of school. I just caught up over the summer, but if the timing had worked out differently, it would have been really hard to catch up while keeping up with normal classes. I guess I just got lucky in that I recovered right as classes were ending for the year, so I had a whole holiday to play catch-up.
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