Hello, My name is Jess (18 year old MtF) and I am here to tell you about my story.
I was born in big old Toronto to a very accepting family. As a toddler, I had long curly hair. Most people thought I was a young girl. I was far too young to remember anything at that age and I was not sure on my sexual orientation, as were my parents. They thought I was your typical straight 20 month old heterosexual boy. It was not until about age 4 I realized I was not male at heart.
I remember sitting in my parents room, my grandma was in the living room watching TV. My mom used to own a tube top which I would hide under a sweater. Unsure how my grandmother would react, I would always quickly remove it and hide it when I heard her in the hallway. As I got a little older, I started trying on different clothes. Grade 2, I started wearing panties and nylon stockings under my usual boxers and pants. Also, I started folding paper towels and lying it in the panties as if they were pads. My mom found out one day and I explained it was because I accidentally peed myself. In my mind's eye, I saw an accident was more accepting than pretending the toilet paper were pads.

Grade 3 was when I started having a psychological downward spiral. I had taken a fellow students bottle of nail polish and a friends unopened box of fake nails. I remember sitting in the boys bathroom applying the nail polish to my toenails. Afraid someone would smell it on me, I wiped it off with toilet paper and threw out the bottle.
After about March of that school year, people started to suspect I was different, so I started playing straight. Not liking my grade 3 teacher and the fact I was being someone I was not started getting me into all sorts of trouble at the school. I stopped wearing woman's clothing under mine also.
I have vague memories of playing imaginary pokemon with my friends. I always wanted to play as the girl. My friends just teased me on the occasion but I really did not give much thought in it.

Grade 5 was the rising action to my downward spiral. The original principal was "moved" to a different school by vote of the mothers on the parent council. He was a young man, really attractive but you could tell that he was gay. After the parent council got a straight principal in there I started rebelling to show my dislike for the new straight principal. She was shrill and she was a real b***h. It became a routine trip for me in the office. The facade I had put of for 2 years prior became it's own spiritual entity. The teacher I had at that time did help a little (In understanding I was not a bad student) and I tried keeping out of trouble.

Everything went to s**t when I entered grade 7. The guy who I thought was my friend started being a jerk. The male persona became more dominant and I started lashing out at teachers. I had to start wearing a back brace as I was developing scoliosis. I had to wear an undershirt with it and that was the day my mom started thinking on my sexuality. I had taken one of her bras and tightened the straps up and wore it under my shirt and brace. My mom saw the straps when I was napping. I talked to her after I woke up saying it was only a phase. (Saying this started hurting me on the inside.) After that I only started wearing them on PA days around the house or when my parents were out shopping.

After a year, I was finally in grade 8. This was by far the worst year of my life. I was on pills for ADD and it was during morning recess. My memories of this day are really fuzzy and I can only remember being suspended for 3 days. The pills I was on gave me a moment of blind fury combined with 5 years of not being myself. Other things I have done to lash out also got me suspended. I was attempting to rid the male personality but it was combating with my female soul and mindset, thus getting me in trouble.
It was within my last years in grade school when I wrote my first suicide note.
I could not bring myself up to taking my own life and I ended up hiding the note.

The stories were manipulated protected me in high school which gave me time to calm down and recenter myself.
I came out to my parents in the end grade 9. My mom bought me 2 bra sets and 1 bandeau bra. Every so often I needed to take a day off school to let out my female side. How I was treated in grade school left me with the inability to trust people. This one girl eventually became my friend and I kept her as a friend.

Grade 11 I started meeting people, new people and more accepting people. I came out to them and it helped me a lot through the tough times in high school.
The male friends I kept were not so accepting of that life style so I played it straight.
This past December, I went to La Senza with my female friend, playing as if I was buying clothes for her. Both her and I fit into a 36 band size. I am a small structured gal so I bought B cups. (both her and I are the same size, so it made it less suspicious)
They are really comfortable and I forget they are on time to time.
She wanted to know what it looked like on me (Because I am pale skinned, almost all colours suit me) It took 6 months but I eventually got around to showing her. The pictures were ONLY on my phone and I made sure it left no trail. I have not talked to her since exams back in June though. :'(

I am finally a high school graduate and I have plans on coming out in November.
The entire concept of Gender reassessment surgery is what really plays a lot on my mental state. Due to playing straight for the past 8 and a half years made my male side is saying NO! on the SRS but my female soul and mind has been dying to be in the correct body.
Due to this mental struggle, I have been in and out of depression and therapy to help with this. My female soul used to become in sync with my female friends when they were on their period. I got the mood swings from them but none of the menstrual blood. (I do not have a uterus or ovaries.)

Ever since leaving High school, I no longer am quick to annoy.
But I am still in pain at the fact I am not in the correct body.

Yeah, this is my coming out story.