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It was a dark and stormy night. Nirvani weather was usually quite balmy but the island was prone to storms and torrential rains at certain times of year and this night was one of those nights—it was definitely not a night to be outside. In fact, most of the islanders were locked away indoors, the yellow warmth of their incandescent lights filtering through the rain and mist out onto the cobbled streets to paint a myriad of glowing reflections on the wet stones. But a small, motley group of the island's children were, unsurprisingly, up to something.

The group, comprised of some of the youngest youngsters and a few straggling teens, were led by none other than the infamous Scarlet Hayden (who really wasn't quite all that infamous just yet, much to her disappointment). But she was definitely working on it. She’d managed to get a few of the others together and now, as they crept along the streets in a diverse variety of rainbow galoshes and umbrellas, they had a single goal in mind.

You see, on the island, set apart from all the others, was a lonely little house. None of the children really knew who lived there for the owner was never seen (well, to be honest, it was probably just that none of them had ever paid attention). But there were rumors that the strange, terrifying man-beast who lived there devoured the tears of women. And that one time, he had viciously murdered kittens by squashing them into jelly! And that he'd set loose a wild walrus in a cave on the beach, and kidnapped people and locked them in the lighthouse, and that he'd single-handedly caused the ruin of several marriages, and once killed and dismembered a stray hooker (or doctor--the story was a little fuzzy there) that had been roaming around the island. He was seven feet tall with black, slimy tentacles for hair. And his eyes were a terrifying ice blue that could freeze your soul if you dared look in them.

Women, children, kittens and the occasional walrus were said to instantly burst into tears at his approach. And if anyone crossed him--if anyone even so much as blinked at him at the wrong time, he would do the worst, possible thing...EVER. He would kill them, chop them up and bake them into a pie!

Scarlet, of course, felt that he should become her friend. Possibly the mayor--or a pet. So she had gathered up some sacrifices...er...troops...and she was going to find him! Since she had first found out about him from some lost soul or other, it had been the single most important goal in her life. So with her posse of not-sacrifices, Scarlet skittered down the street, ducking behind rubbish bins and trees to avoid being seen. Wait.

Wait.

Something was wrong.

Scarlet stopped behind a thin birch tree and whirled around just as a clap of thunder sounded across the sleepy town. "YOU!" she said, pointing directly at Sani. Normally she wouldn't speak to such a scrappy little brat, but he was the closest thing she could find to a kitten and so she'd brought him along to appease the monster in the house and possibly to bribe him into being her pet. "You. Sing...a theme song!"

The little midget, close to tears from that last bit of thunder and the fact that he’d sort of been kidnapped from his house just a little while earlier, just stared at her blankly, one finger in his mouth, and one toying nervously with the edge of his shirt. Scarlet waited for him to begin, but after several minutes, it was apparent no song was forthcoming. She sighed. This was not going to work. She huffed slightly and turned to the next closest person. "YOU."

"Me?" Jeremy said, startled by the sudden finger in his face. It wasn't that he was really nervous but, well, even if she was younger than him, Scarlet was kind of scary and it made him a little nervous that she was suddenly pointing at him. He didn't even know why he was here. He just...there were things. Things happened and he'd gotten caught up in all this and now he was standing out in the rainy dark with wet feet and some scary little girl pointing at him and he really wasn’t even sure how or why. But he was kind of interested in exactly what everyone was doing so he didn't really want to go home just yet. He cleared his throat a little and gave Scarlet a cockeyed smile. "I mean, uh, yeah?"

"We need a theme song."

Oh. That. What? Like, she wanted him to sing? Jeremy glanced over at the other kids gathered around. "You mean like--"

"You know, a theme song. Something sneaky. To set the mood."

Jeremy was pretty sure the rain and thunder were enough to set the mood, but whatever. "Alright, then. Okay. Theme song..." Well, he supposed there were worse jobs. He stepped over a puddle and sidled up alongside Scarlet, peering down the street as he hummed the theme to a recent spy movie under his breath. "So where are we going again?" he asked. No one else seemed to know either—Jian, a kid he recognized from school, was there. Apparently he’d been nabbed while taking out the trash and press ganged into the group, and a sort of oddly dressed girl in a rain slicker made of trash bags was apparently responsible for keeping him from bolting. (Jeremy felt kind of bad about that because, you know, holding people against their will and all that, was kind of bad, right? But at the same time, Jeremy was kind of outnumbered so he wasn’t sure what to really do about it and it was all harmless fun…probably.)

"Monster hunting!" Scarlet answered with an evil grin. Reaching up, she slid her night vision goggles down over her eyes and looked toward the target house in the distance. Perfect. They were getting close, for sure. Then…she promptly took the glasses off again because they were really just regular sunglasses and she couldn't see a damn thing with them over her eyes. "Let's go!"

She took off down the street rain pattering ominously over the Hello Kitty umbrella she'd taken from this really gaudy pink house she'd seen earlier--so gaudy she just had to peek inside. Then the rain started and she didn't want to get wet, so she'd just grabbed the nearest thing for protection and that was how she’d come by an umbrella that was really not at all to her tastes (except the sharp point on one end, which would be great for stabbing people. But that was beside the point. The real issue at hand was monster hunting. So off she went with Izzy and a very reluctant Jian close behind her.

"M--monster!?" Sani said, his little lip trembling. Were they really going to find a monster? Daddy always said monsters didn't exist but Sani knew better because there was one in his closet and...and...now they were going to find one and what if it was best friends with the one in his closet and as soon as they found it, it would recognize him and then it would attack him and eat him and eat them all and they'd all be eaten and that was scary! He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to let out a wail a hand materialized from over his shoulder and shoved a chocolate between his lips. It was an especially gooey one that had caramel inside so it would take a long time to chew and as soon as the delicious, sugary goodness hit his tongue, Sani stopped talking and forgot all about the monster because he was too busy noisily chewing the chocolate while remembering to very carefully hold onto his green froggy umbrella to keep the rain off his face.

Jeremy gave an appreciative look to the owner of the afore mentioned hand and Amie returned the look with a smug grin. Because this trick was one she had learned during a certain festival when an evil kidnapper had tried to steal this child and she had saved him, but the kid's horrible father had yelled at her for it because he was clearly an ungrateful, low class peasant. She normally wouldn't even be here on this soggy kid adventure but if there was a monster then she had to meet it because if she met it, it would definitely take her prisoner and if that happened then, clearly, a gallant knight (or prince) would show up and save her. In fact, her prince might come. Since he'd previously broken her heart and still hadn't made it up to her, he had to do something to show his devotion and saving her from an evil, kitten-killing monster (yes, she'd also heard the stories) was obviously the only way.

"Onward!" she said, grabbing Sani's hand and marching after Scarlet. Jeremy started after them as well, when he heard Scarlet's angry voice demanding him to sing louder over the rain. Actually, it was because of his dramatic humming that the kids probably didn’t hear the sloppy, wet sound of something heavy dragging itself after them as they weaved and darted through the streets and through the pouring rain to that mysterious little house at the edge of town, which looked surprisingly like a normal house and not at all like a monster lived there. When they reached it, they all huddled at the gate in a little group, studying it in the dim light. It was kind of plain but the lawn wasn't overgrown and there weren't ominous thorns, or broken windows. And the lights were on inside and, really, no self respecting monster would live there for sure.

Even Sani seemed to realize it because as the other kids gathered by the gate where Scarlet was crouched, glaring at the house in a disappointed fashion, he said, "Does a monster really live here?"

“This is idiotic,” Jian muttered. “Why are we even here?” Well, other than the fact that he’d been grabbed by some weird girl who would not let go of his arm no matter what.

"Doesn't look like it to me," Jeremy said, nodding in agreement. "It looks like a pretty normal house."

"Maybe it's the wrong one," Amie said, also a little disappointed. Because if there wasn't a monster then...

Her eyes narrowed as she felt a little puff of hot air on her ear. She shook her head, dismissing it as imagination. As she was thinking! If there wasn't a monster then no one would...

There it was again! She batted at the back of her ear absentmindedly, freezing when her hand made contact with something slightly soft, slightly prickly and slightly slimy. She frowned because nothing should be back there--all the other kids were within plain sight (even the weird hobo girl, who normally would have been the most likely culprit). So...that meant...she turned slowly around, eyes wide, and came face to face with---"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MONSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" Amie scrambled away from the beady eyed, shadowed form next to her, somehow making it over the fence in a single flying leap that was quite impressive for a girl her size. With a chorus of startled yells, the other kids bolted after her, none of them really getting a good look at the barking, wallowing figure that schlumped after them because when anyone screamed out of nowhere, the logical course of action was instant panic—especially when there was a dark, lumpy figure was just behind them making strange grunting noises. It was clearly some horrible minion of the monster that was going to suck their brains out through their ears! Or a serial killer. Or the ghost of the dead hooker. But at any rate, none of them were sticking around to find out.

Even Jian followed the others over the fence without being dragged by Izzy (she had let out a scream nearly as loud as Amie’s and was the second one over the fence, actually). Poor little Sani probably would have been the first victim if not for the fact that Jeremy (valiant kid that he was) had actually thought to scoop him up before he jumped the fence with the others. Scarlet and Amie didn't even think twice about leaving the poor kid behind either. They were halfway around to the back of the house, half of them still screaming bloody murder, before Jeremy even caught up to the group.

He glanced back once, just as a flash of lightning illuminated the yard, and saw the mournful, lumpy figure of what looked strangely like a forlorn walrus, throwing itself at the wooden gate in an attempt to follow them. Jeremy rounded the corner of the house, nearly smashing into the girls and Jian, who had all paused to try to catch their breath.

“Uh…guys. I think it’s still back there. We should probably—“

Another clap of thunder sounded, this time loud enough to rattle the windows and practically vibrate their eyeballs out of their sockets. Amie let out another shriek as the back door slammed open, banging against the side of the house and flapping there in the wind.

"Who's out there?!?" an angry voice demanded. The kids screamed again as the dark figure loomed above them, silhouetted against the warm yellow light from the house interior.

"MONSTER!" Amie screeched, trying to claw her way behind Jeremy and Sani, who were clearly there for no other reason than be used as meat shields.

"GET HIM!" Izzy and Scarlet shouted, the latter brandishing her hello kitty umbrella as she made a dash at the figure in the door. This was it! This was her chance to get her very own monster!

"Get him before he eats us all!" Scarlet was the first to strike the figure, with Izzy just behind her. The man-beast stumbled back with a surprisingly Human oof! and the three of them went crashing to the floor. Whatever he'd been holding in his hands fell with a clatter, red liquid oozing out of it and spreading across the tiles.

"HE's KILLING HER!" Sani wailed, struggling to get free. Jeremy, by this point, didn't even know what was going on. It was all a blur of insanity and rain and thunder and red oozy stuff on the floor and walrus monsters, so he was barely thinking straight when he shoved Sani at Jian and darted into the house, jumping on top of whatever it was Izzy was holding down while Scarlet threatening it with her umbrella. Sani and Amie cowered behind Jian as another clap of thunder sounded and...

and...the trio of monster slayers realized they were peering down at a perfectly normal looking man who was looking up at them with bewildered frustration.

"Who exactly am I killing?" he asked, flatly.

"Someone!" Scarlet said, a tinge of uncertainty coming into voice as she jumped to her feet and pointed at the red goop on the floor. "Otherwise, what is that!?" Well time thunder rolled across the sky as the man propped himself up on one elbow, eyeing the red substance on the floor. Jeremy skittered off him, having the sinking feeling this was a bit of a misunderstanding and by this point, even Sani was inching his way into the warm house and out of the rain.

"Strawberry topping. Unless you're valiant defenders of the patron saint of strawberries, I fail to see why I deserved to be attacked for it?"

"You're...not a monster?" Amie asked.

“Oh wait, I recognize you!” Izzy said. “Heeey. You’re the guy who made fun of my fabulous outfit at the festival.” She released him and sat up, crossing her arms as she glared at him. “I didn’t know you lived here."

Sethrian carefully got to his feet, giving Izzy a pained look and rubbing the back of his head. "Do I look like a monster?" What in the world was this nonsense? A bunch of weird kids burst into his house, tracking water in, spilling his raspberry filling, leaving the door open for the rain to get in. He sighed as the oven timer went off. "Can you at least shut the door?" he asked Jian, starting across the kitchen.

"HA! And what are you cooking!?" Scarlet asked triumphantly. "Probably the remains of that hooker you killed, right?"

"Uh, no. Cookies." Sethrian pulled the tray from the oven and tipped the pan so Scarlet could see. She almost visibly deflated. He really wasn't a monster. What a letdown. He even sighed at her in a disappointingly fatherly way. "Why don't you all sit down, have some cookies and then we can give your parents a call to come get you all," he told them, setting the pan down on a hot pad before opening the cabinet to retrieve some plates. “Or you can at least dry off a bit before heading home.”

Sani barely needed an invitation considering cookies were involved. Half his clothes were already strewn on the kitchen floor. And at just that moment, a panicked figure bolted up a burst through the door Jian had just shut, clinging to the frame with wild eyes and sopping hair. His gaze immediately landed on little Sani, who was standing barefoot in a oozing puddle of red and had somehow managed to smear it over his entire face and body while getting his wet clothes off.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON!?" Keegan yelled, his voice cracking with emotion.

"Da!" Sani said, a bright smile washing over his features. "We caught a cookie monster!"

x
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And somewhere, on a far off street, a lone walrus schlumped along, grunting its sadness at having lost the opportunity to make new friends once again.

WARNING: RACY FANFICTION AHEAD. You were warned.

Pairings: Haruka/Raiden

"Oh raiden let's have some dinners WHOPS FELL." ~timeskip~