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So there it was, out in the open. Oh, so painfully, out in the open. I place my right hand on my chest, where I assume my heart is located, and unintentionally grasp my white shirt. I choke over my heartbeat, which has taken it upon itself to triple its' rate. It was still early in the school year, as well as the day, and I had decided to approach this person. Which I realized, far too late, that was a horrible idea, for multiple reasons. A being composed of pure beauty and grace; Kryptonite in its' worst form, stood just a few feet in front of me. No, maybe a little more than a few, ten or so? Yes, much more reasonable. It was painful, really, standing here sweating profusely, in front of someone whom I held in highest regard. Well, at least I think I hold them in highest regard, I'm in high school, I don't know anything about stuff like that.

"Uh," I manage after what must have been an eternity of awkward silence. Is my hair a mess? Oh god, it's probably a mess and she'll think I'm a slob that can't even do that right. And if I can't even take care of my own hair, how am I supposed to take care of a girlfriend in high school, which, by the way, is probably one of the most stressful times in a girls life. Hell, she probably thinks I can't even hold a job down! And if I can't hold a job down I won't be able to pay my bills or pay rent and I'll end up on the street, living a life of sorrow and regrets. And who wants to date a guy like that? Not amazing people, that's for sure! I find myself staring nervously into her hazel colored eyes, and this girl is definitely amazing. A breeze catches her long brown hair, sending it swirling around in circles, the still rising sun sets her face aglow, and I can't help but make a comparison to just about every anime I've ever seen. "Uh," I say again, as if she didn't catch the nervousness the first time. I let my hand slide back down to my side, suddenly realizing that it hasn't only felt like an eternity, it has, in fact, been quite a long time since I initially asked if she was currently seeing anyone. Did it take everyone this long to reply to being asked out? I swallow, hard, though I admit, it may have been slightly exaggerated; what can I say, I'm the theatrical type, I guess. I know if someone asked me out, I'd have an answer for them almost immediately, though I'm not sure if people consider me as a normal guy. What is normal, anyway? Just a widely agreed upon and socially acceptable set of behaviors? Who cares, I'm getting distracted. Maybe this is her idea of letting me down gently. "Take your time," I say, before I can catch myself. "Uh, I mean, well, I get it if you're not looking for a boyfriend." Not looking for a boyfriend? As if I'm just something to be picked up at the local grocery store. Way to objectify yourself, genius. I guess it's better than objectifying her. Roll with it, just roll with it. "That's cool. I totally get it. No one to hold you down and all that." So, this is what it feels like to blabber on like an idiot? I don't like it.

"Hey, Izzy," an unfamiliar voice rips my attention away and sends it flying off to the door of the building beside us. Part of me is glad for the interruption, best to stop me before I say even more retarded s**t, but part of me is horrified by the thought of spectators being around when I get rejected. I've never seen the face before, or at least I don't think I have, but the sinking feeling in my gut is unshakable. The anxiety must be obvious on my face because after a moment of looking at me, the boy scrunches his face so that his teeth are showing and clenched together, and makes a sort of hissing sound, as if someone just took their boot to his shin. "That sucks," he says finally, holding a hand out, obviously to Izzy, who quickly walks over to join him. And just like that, they both retreat into the building, leaving me speechless and oh so confused. "That sucks?" And just like that, facts slam into me, like a bag of bricks to the face, whiplash and all. "Boyfriend!" I grumble out loud. "Stupid, stupid!" Of course she has a boyfriend! Not only is she, you know, perfect for me, but she's hot. Therefore she's also perfect for every other non-gay guy in school! "God, I'm so stupid!" I continue my self-degradation well into my first class. Sweet way to start the day, Kip. Very sweet.