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My partner and I recently purchased a car. It was a first car for both of us, even though we're both pretty old for that milestone. He's legally blind and I've battled a driving phobia for years. Having this car is a miracle to us.

Today we went to the BMV to get license plates for it, and we didn't even get to put the plates on before I wrecked it. I didn't see the red light coming and I rammed my Bonneville into the side of a pretty silver Jaguar.

It was really kind of a minor accident. I'm the only person that got hurt, and even then, all I have are some minor burns and bruising that were caused by the airbags. I didn't go to the hospital or anything. The wife of the guy I hit even gave me a hug and assured me everything would get sorted out and life would go on.

Even though the wreck really could have been a lot worse, I still feel very, very incredibly blessed that nobody was hurt, nobody was angry, and that new cars are made every day. God was watching us today and allowed my partner and I to be blessed with yet another miracle.

So if there's an easy way to get through a car wreck, I found it. But even so my self-confidence has just taken a huge nose dive. I'm uncertain about the future and what this wreck is going to mean for me and my partner financially. Obviously for now, we're happy to go back to walking, but this wreck came at a really inconvenient time for us and we're going to have to let go of a lot of pride and stubbornness to get through this. Something God wants for us, no doubt.

I'm counting every last blessing in my life today. It's so dangerously easy to forget how much our partners and our families and our faith mean to us. Please do me a favor and love on the important people in your life today. Give praise to God for your incredible, precious life. My partner and I would also be very grateful for your prayers to help us remember the same.

Yeah, I think I might have gotten knocked back pretty close to the start as far as my phobia goes. I have an anxiety disorder to begin with, so I'm fully expecting to be a bundle of nerves for a good couple of days. We'd actually had the car for a little under a month. In Ohio, they give you temporary plates that are good for 30 days before you have to go buy the permanent ones, so I'd had quite a bit of practice since my partner is limited by law to only drive under specific conditions.

As it turns put, my partner has really great insurance and this may not be quite the financial burden we thought it might be. The officer who ticketed me cut me a REALLY big break (just one citation, and it was for running the red light) and my partner is covered for collision damage. So even though I hit a Jag, as long as I didn't do more than $15,000 worth of damage (I'm reasonably sure I did not) I'm pretty much in the clear.

So that is a huge load off my mind. I might even sleep tonight! Lol
Praise God things are already beginning to look up. smile

I got caught telling a lie to a friend today (note: lying to a behavior expert does not work) and got scolded for it. I told him I was feeling better and my body language told him just the opposite. He confronted me about it and told me that I need to quit putting on a show by pretending that if i say i'm okay, eventually it will be true. Bottling up my feelings isn't really the same as giving my burdens to God. It's depriving myself of closure. I didn't even look at our car after the wreck. My partner wouldn't let me. So I asked to see the pictures today, and it did settle my mind in some ways, but in other ways, it freaked me out even more.

I have a lot of thoughts to untangle. I'm feeling guilt and shame and fear and I don't know when I'll be ready to let go of that. I so want things to be normal again and I have no idea how to get back there or how long it'll take. It's really frustrating and scary and even though I know I'll be back to normal someday, I'm VERY impatient to get there.

My partner and I so appreciate your prayers.