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I TRY not to swear much lol. Sometimes that's difficult for me. ninja I swear around friends, but I try to hold my tongue around people I deeply respect (my mom, my bosses, etc)

I see it this way: using a made-up swear word is basically the same thing as swearing. Everybody knows what you really mean and how you really feel.

Not that technicalities exempt us from what's written in the Bible, but we can't pretend that God can't hear us when we're swearing in our heads.

I am offended by some words. Epithets directed at women, people of color or queer folks in particular greatly diminish my opinion of the person who says them. Being mindful of that, I realize some of the words I say could do that sort of damage to others.

Thanks for making an exception, Subby. I actually meant to ask about it but then I had to go do something and get offline before I had a chance.

I'm not easily offended as a general rule, but when I am offended, it's generally only by statements that are blatantly offensive, regardless of what sort of language is used to express them.

For example, I am not inherently offended by the word "f**" or "f*****t," despite the fact that I am a homosexual male and those words are indeed considered to be generally derogatory words to describe homosexual men. If I call someone who cuts me off when I'm driving a f*****t, I'm obviously not saying that he is a gay man who deserves to be burned at the stake. The same goes for if I call my computer a f*****t, or my television, or my Wii. I'm equally unoffended by people using the word "gay" to describe something that is annoying or bad. And I'm not even offended if someone calls me a f*****t. My partner calls me a f*****t quite frequently, and I him. Words like "f**" and "b***h" are practically terms of endearment within my social circle.

The way I see most derogatory words is that if we all stop getting our knickers in a knot about them, those words lose their power. Then even if and when somebody does direct one of those words at you in an intentionally inflammatory fashion, it really loses its sting. "Slut" is another one that if you simply make the choice to not give that word the power to hurt you, it just becomes another word.

The way the GLBT community "took back" the word "queer" is how I feel all derogatory words should be treated. People can only hurt your feelings with those kinds of words if you continue giving those words the power to be hurtful.

If someone calls me a queer junkie slut f*****t whore, I ignore the derogatory meaning of those words and admit that yes, by the definition of those words, that is not a completely inaccurate way to describe me. I am homosexual, I'm a recovering heroin addict, and in the past I have been quite promiscuous, sometimes even in exchange for goods (okay, almost always drugs). And if I simply stand up and own those parts of myself, I take away people's power to hurt me with those kinds of words.

In casual conversation, I tend to "cuss" quite a lot. I can censor myself, obviously, and do at times when such language is not appropriate, either because it's unprofessional (which I'll admit it is) and I'm in a work setting, or when I'm around people that are either especially young or who I just know won't appreciate it (and placating them with internal self-censorship is easier, and more polite, than telling them that they are wrong to feel the way they feel about the issue).

When I won't censor myself are situations like being out in public with friends. I'm not going to "watch my language" while talking to my friends while walking down the street just on the off chance that someone who overhears me gets offended. Don't like what I'm saying? Then stop eavesdropping.

And I feel this is somewhat related, but when talking about sex or things involving genitals, I tend to use pretty clinical language, which for some reason some people find vulgar or inappropriate, but I find avoiding the real words for things like "p***s" or "v****a" or even "sex" to be pretty immature. I realise that when you're ten, those words are hilarious, but that's a phase you're supposed to grow out of. And using "pet names" or whatever you want to call it for genitalia implies that there is something inherently shameful about those parts of our bodies, and there isn't. You should be no more ashamed of your p***s or your v****a than you should be of...I don't know, your elbow. It's all your body, and it's all God's design, so what is there to be ashamed of?

And I realise that most men have pet names for their penises and I'm sure plenty of women have pet names for their vaginas; that's not really what I'm talking about. That's fine. It's when adults actively avoid using the real words for those body parts and instead insist on using words like "wee-wee" or "down-there parts" that I find kind of ridiculous.

This.

Also, when we wear the name "Christian", our every action and word affects his reputation, not just our own anymore. If he doesn't think it's right, then to honestly reflect what he thinks, we should refrain from doing it. We're representing him on this planet. That's the goal. To say "I'm Christian" and then behave un-Christ-like/unbiblical/unholy is to take his name in vain too. There's really no need to cuss, even if a person stubs their toe, why can't they say "ow" or "ah"? I personally don't say anything at all when that happens so maybe it's easy for me to say, but it's possible. Oftentimes, whether it's at themselves, other people, or an inanimate object, people tend to cuss to express their anger (which is hate) or complain (which is ungratefulness)—both of which are considered to be sin. Personally, I don't like the tone of voice people adopt when using vulgar words. It's like they want to smack somebody, even when they're joking around. There's nothing loving, serviceable or edifying about their interaction, so why are they having said interaction? It's vain, empty, useless, and at times it escalates to mock-arrogance. None of which is Christ-like.

Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV)

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

At the end of the day, it's about conforming to Christ, not the world; even though we won't be perfect everytime, perfection is the goal.

Y'all found the verses before I did. Thanks! xp Ephesians 4:29 was the verse that came to mind.

I don't think omitting swear words from my vocabulary neuters it in any way. Yeah, it can add humor to a statement or hammer home a point, but it's not anything more than that. Just decoration. Racial or sexual slurs are another story.

I would argue that in some instances, swearing can physically hurt people. I had a roommate in college who claimed to be Christian, and would never use one of the "seven dirty words", but he (a straight white guy) would lay out words like "n*gger" and "f*****t" like no tomorrow, and he would do it so casually. It made my blood boil and he thought it was hilarious. On my 21st birthday, he ruined my party by shouting epithets through the house just to see what me (I'm a mix of a lot of things, passing for white) and the other folks of color at my party would do to him, and he's really lucky all we did was run him off. That night stands out as one of the most embarrassing events of my life.


So I do have a big problem with hateful speech in particular, even if I don't take too much issue with swearing in general (although I understand that swearing does cause some people to cringe in the same way). If it's something that's been adopted as a term of endearment by that particular group, only that group of people should say it.

I'm not offended by cussing. Moderation is important because they way people view them effect how they're used. For example when I hear ******** at least twice in every sentence I tend to think that person as a 14-year-old trying sound cool to his friends. And when I hear someone using words below their age group it's just as bad. I roll my eyes at adults who use words like caca or poo poo. When I'm mad cussing makes me feel better. If I were to use PG rated words I'd feel like I was being more restricted than what originally made me mad. Thus it tones down my mood making the anger pass sooner. The only words I don't tolerate are the ones that refer to God and Jesus. Those offend me greatly especially when they're not censored on tv. And a phrase I don't usually use is "Go to Hell." because I feel like Hell shouldn't be referred to so lightly. Cartoon characters are cussing now. We're doomed to listen to it from most everyone's mouth. We have bigger things to be worried about.