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 Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:57 pm
This is all about my friend. She's pretty cool, and we're pretty tight.
Sometimes though, she makes me mad.
She identifies herself as "lesbian," when in reality, she isn't.
She's either bisexual, or just plain bi-curious.
We've talked about guys together, talking about how cute they are, and whether we'd date them or not. We've watched movies together that have been borderline pornographic, and we would "drool" over the guys. In fact, right now she's even talking to some guy she has an interest in dating and getting together with.
She basically parades the "fact" she's "lesbian," and I've come so close to telling her to shut up, but I've held my tongue.
I have nothing against bisexuals, or really any body for that matter, but when you incorrectly call yourself something much, it's only a matter of time before I snap.
/venting over.
So yeah, any body else know someone like this?
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:07 am
the term bisexual has alot of negativity to it, so i cant really blame any bisexual wanting to call themselves gay or straight. even from the gay community there is alot of biphobia.
now on the other hand i have had issues with straight ladies pretending to be bi so that men will think they are sexy and outgoing, which ends up making look like all bisexuals are in it for the attention.
and then there is the issue of political lesbians
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:21 am
It doesn't matter whether or not she's actually a lesbian or a bisexual. She identifies as a lesbian and you should respect that.
Questioning what she's comfortable with and what she labels herself as is just as bad as questioning a "heterosexual" boys orientation and telling him he's actually homosexual. It can be a bit offensive.
I think that regardless of what someone labels themselves as they still have the ability to break beyond that mold and sort of dip their toes into other sexualities.
Maybe she does in fact have some sort of sexual attraction to men on some level, that doesn't change the fact that she's a lesbian.
For example, I identify as gay as a means of appeasing others. I can only ever see myself dating or marrying a man (for the time being) however I would never rule out having intercorse with a woman.
Why?
Why not!
To be honest I see myself as someone who is simply (more like complexly) sexual. I'm attracted to who I am attracted to for that the simple reason that I am. I can't exactly choose who I am attracted to and nor should that attraction determine who I am as a person.
Does that make any sense at all?
:/
So in a way I perhaps get where your friend is at in her mentality.
Don't push her to be someone or something she's not comfortable with. Accept that she's a lesbian but also accept that maybe she's attracted to men too.
As her friend you should embrace her for who she is and accept that.
c:
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:25 pm
Perhaps she's a homoromantic bisexual?
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:30 pm
Maybe you don't know quite what she is thinking.
I have been dating a straight male for the past year and a half and I identify as a lesbian.
Then again, I don't drool over guys. In face, I am not at all attracted to the male anatomy in any way. Not even to my lover.
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Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:28 pm
Sometimes people get a lot of s**t from both sides for identifying as bi, so maybe she just wants to avoid that? Some of my bi friends have had some seriously s**t things said to them by fellow GLBTs who should know better.
Or maybe she just finds guys aesthetically pleasing? Or maybe she's just curious what being with a guy would be like? Or maybe a lot of other things.
She's the only one who really knows what's going on with her. Why not just ask her?
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