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Don't assume that. Many depressed people hide it very well. Sometimes you can see it coming, as in my sister's case. Everyone knew she was just getting worse and worse, but everyone was just so tired of trying to help after 10 years. And, of course, that comes with it's own load of baggage.

But the fact is that you should not blame anyone for this. The girl has a problem and she is most likely hiding it extremely well. But now you know. Now you can try to do something about it.

If she is an alcoholic, get ready for a very long ride. Alcoholism is extremely difficult for almost anyone to get over, but twice so for women (something about brain chemistry, I forget). If she really is an alcoholic, get ready to be a solid rock for her because she will need it. Of course, she has to want to get out of it first. If she doesn't fully want to, it may be impossible. My other sister was an alcoholic. In a way, she was lucky that DD killed herself because that was the push she needed. Seeing what DD's death did to our parents, despite the fact that both felt that no one loved them, showed her how important her life was. It gave her something big to fight for. She made it, but she almost didn't. As sad as she is about DD's death, she's thankful that it saved her own. If your sister doesn't have such a strong push, it will be even more difficult for her.

As for the boyfriend, oy... I'd suggest cutting him out of her life. Romantic interests have this uncanny ability to either be a huge positive or a huge negative in people's lives. I'm willing to bet that he may be part of her problem. As you said yourself, he's always leaving her. She may hate you for it, but I think you need to keep him away from her. Tell him that she's tried to commit suicide because of him and noone wants you in her life anymore. Keep him away.

Ok, I'm rambling.

1. Don't blame anyone. Playing the blame game never helps anything. You guys all need to work together to protect your cousin.

2. Get her boyfriend out of the picture.

3. Let her know that she has something to live for. You guys all have to be there for her, let her know how much her death would have hurt all of you. But don't make her feel guilty for the pain she's already caused. Make sure she knows that whatever pain her attempted suicide may have caused, her actual suicide would have been a billion times worse.

4. Get her into an alcohol recovery program.

5. Don't abandon her. I understand that you have your own life to live, but don't make her feel like everyone is just too busy for her. If nothing else, write her frequent e-mails and be active in her life.

6. Tell your entire family to stop drinking. She is going to be VERY thirsty for a very long time and all it takes is a family dinner with wine for her to fall off the wagon and get right back into old habits. You guys have to be there for her, not only in preventing any alcohol from getting to her, but also in removing temptation. Make your aunt and uncle vow to stop drinking until she reaches a point where she is strong enough to deal with the alcohol herself.

7. Get her into alcoholism programs like AA. My sister could tell you that those programs saved her life. No matter how strong the will of the individual, it's almost impossible without a program that sets clear goals and gives you a forum to share your experiences with people who have gone through the exact same thing.

8. Give her life goals. Maybe you would want to move in together when you graduate High School and go to the same college? I don't know enough about your lives to make good suggestions here, but basically just give her goals she can look forward to and work towards.

I hope this helps smile