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 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 6:03 pm
Inside this Thread for poems you in particular want critiqued
Simple, the rest of the forum is for "fluff". If you want serious or "brutal" critiques of your poems post it directly in this thread for the subject matter for this forum.
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Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:43 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:31 pm
It's cute and romantic, though it's not strict iambic or pentameter.
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:18 pm
yeah. my teacher said that we could be 1 under or over the nended sylables. i thinki i might have pushed it just a tad tho.
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 7:34 pm
that was still gd though, gd job
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:22 pm
The Waltz of October
When the nights grow cold
When the days grow old
You wil sill be there for me
When I feel so alone
And not a place I can call home
You will still be there for me
When the Sun goes down
And the last leaf falls
All the stars come out to dance
And your there with me
Whisper so softly
Sweet surrender turns to mist
Oh, such glory be
Is this happening to me?
Sweet surrender peace to me
Intense and stary eyed
How I am mystified
Oh, such wonder; Oh, such light
We breathe the cool fresh air
And life is ever fair
How I am mystified tonight
The Last days of Fall
The air is still and long
And I weep beside you now
The stone is cold and smooth
But I will stay with you
Because I Love You.... (*I have also written music with this and the music inspired the words just as the words inspired the music, I built it with both ^_^*)
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 4:45 pm
look at you, judging poetry...sexy stuff...hmmm?
reading poetic porn..lol
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:13 pm
ill put one of mine in later. whee
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:48 pm
Untitled
There are so many things in life, that I just don't understand.
Like after being torn apart, I'll still take the chance
to give you...my love and romance in eternal extacy.
Eventhough I know the situation will end in tragidy, with me
accidently falling in love and leaving you surprised. But why?
You've just got to realize, that for me it was simply love at first sight.
And as I look at you with my unseen smile,
I think about all the things that you and I could do for awhile.
Like sharing our thoughts at sunset or maybe walk on the beach.
And then in the light of the moon, we'd be making a love that's so sweet.
But, this is just another extra ordinary thought for you and me.
A simple fantacy or something that I hope would be a temperary reality.
A moment in time that's so devine, where I'm all yours and you're all mine.
But, still I must admit that this could all be just a dream.
For it could never be true, unless you are the one to make it real for me.
So baby can't you see, can't you understand...
That I just want to be the one to give you love, the one to be your man.
Let me take you by the hand and show you what I've got planned.
Seems like all the moments that I'm without you, I simply just can't stand.
I want to tell that I truely love you so, that I'll never let you go.
I would never do you wrong and I would never ever treat you cold.
Some may say that I'm a diamond in the ruff, but my love for you is pure gold.
And though the words I've spoken, are more then what they seem.
It's almost like poetic justice set on a scene from a mid nights dream.
But, this is just another extra ordinary thought for you and me.
A simple fantacy or something that I hope would be a temperary reality.
((This was originally ment to be a song, but I changed a few things around. So, I can only hope that you read this while listening to:
Computer Love by Techmaster P.E.B))
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:25 pm
This is a little free style poem about one of the characters in my upcoming book. I think the title for this book might be Zephyr: The Bond. Anyways, here goes something.
Green Eyes
Your Green eyes
So beautiful
So calm
So loving
and so sweet
I think a minute
And I come to realize
That I could never live without you
And Your Green eyes
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