Online Dating Sites | Page 2 | The Gaian Gay-Straight Alliance | Guild Forums

Shanna66

9,800 Points

100
100
200

Offline

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:55 am

caaaaaath

I actually met my fiance online. I know most dating sites are strictly hetero and that sucks, but surprisingly most of the free ones are pretty inclusive. OkCupid is where I met my fiance. There were a lot of GLBT people on there.

Anyways, I am totally for online dating. I'm actually a really social person with a lot of free time but when I moved from my hometown I didn't know any GLBTs. Back home I have waaaay more gay friends than straight ones. I think online dating sites are a great way not only to find a mate but find friends in your area. My fiance only lived about 15 minutes away when I met here but she went to a different college and I would have never met her without online dating.

oh my god, you and i keep having the same stories about our love lives

we need to be friends

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:34 pm

Shanna66

caaaaaath

I actually met my fiance online. I know most dating sites are strictly hetero and that sucks, but surprisingly most of the free ones are pretty inclusive. OkCupid is where I met my fiance. There were a lot of GLBT people on there.

Anyways, I am totally for online dating. I'm actually a really social person with a lot of free time but when I moved from my hometown I didn't know any GLBTs. Back home I have waaaay more gay friends than straight ones. I think online dating sites are a great way not only to find a mate but find friends in your area. My fiance only lived about 15 minutes away when I met here but she went to a different college and I would have never met her without online dating.

oh my god, you and i keep having the same stories about our love lives

we need to be friends

IKR?! This is crazy. We're definitely friends now. xd

caaaaaath

Offline

Keakealani

Intellectual Elocutionist

12,850 Points

300
100
200

Offline

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:38 pm

Raeiko

well two things extremely dangerous and most dating sites is strictly hetero. only

Serious question - do you actually think it's more dangerous to date online than to get set up by a friend or ask random people out at a bar? Presumably people who are using online dating are people who are actively looking for a date but haven't already had any potential with people in their closer social groups, and it doesn't seem markedly more dangerous to meet up with someone you meet online (assuming you follow basic safety precautions) than a number of other ways people do dates with people they don't know well. Also, see below for my response to the other half of your statement.

caaaaaath

I actually met my fiance online. I know most dating sites are strictly hetero and that sucks, but surprisingly most of the free ones are pretty inclusive. OkCupid is where I met my fiance. There were a lot of GLBT people on there.

I think this is very true. It is definitely another challenge to look for LGBT-friendly partners in "real life" because a lot of times it relies on subtle cues to even pick up on someone's interest in the first place, plus you are likely to have a smaller pool of selection just based on sheer probability and numbers. I have never experienced any of the pay sites, but I agree that OKCupid has generally struck me as being very LGBT-friendly or at least having a number of LGBT people on the site, which does make it easier than second guessing people who might not be out yet or whatever.

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:09 pm

Keakealani

Raeiko

well two things extremely dangerous and most dating sites is strictly hetero. only

Serious question - do you actually think it's more dangerous to date online than to get set up by a friend or ask random people out at a bar? Presumably people who are using online dating are people who are actively looking for a date but haven't already had any potential with people in their closer social groups, and it doesn't seem markedly more dangerous to meet up with someone you meet online (assuming you follow basic safety precautions) than a number of other ways people do dates with people they don't know well. Also, see below for my response to the other half of your statement.

caaaaaath

I actually met my fiance online. I know most dating sites are strictly hetero and that sucks, but surprisingly most of the free ones are pretty inclusive. OkCupid is where I met my fiance. There were a lot of GLBT people on there.

I think this is very true. It is definitely another challenge to look for LGBT-friendly partners in "real life" because a lot of times it relies on subtle cues to even pick up on someone's interest in the first place, plus you are likely to have a smaller pool of selection just based on sheer probability and numbers. I have never experienced any of the pay sites, but I agree that OKCupid has generally struck me as being very LGBT-friendly or at least having a number of LGBT people on the site, which does make it easier than second guessing people who might not be out yet or whatever.

ok well I wasn't shooting it down completely and I just know of too many stories of people getting hurt and actually a friend of mine being a victim, Beside's it's just my opinion I personally wouldn't do it. Also it's just harder to find a LGBT dating site then it is to find a hetero. that's what I was saying

Raeiko

Offline

Keakealani

Intellectual Elocutionist

12,850 Points

300
100
200

Offline

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:41 pm

Raeiko

ok well I wasn't shooting it down completely and I just know of too many stories of people getting hurt and actually a friend of mine being a victim, Beside's it's just my opinion I personally wouldn't do it. Also it's just harder to find a LGBT dating site then it is to find a hetero. that's what I was saying

Well I mean, yeah. There are more hetero people in the world than LGBT, so that would pretty much be true except possibly in a gay bar. I am not sure that is a particularly valid criticism, since it's just the fact of numbers.

And on the same note, I just don't see how it's any more dangerous than other methods. There is always the chance of getting hurt - and that is definitely especially true for LGBT people. But I'm not seeing how that is anything other than a fact of numbers, which doesn't have anything to do with online dating. If we want to have a discussion about how LGBT people are disproportionately likely to be the victims of violent crime, well then yeah... but that is true no matter what the scenario. And in a lot of ways, I feel that it is safer, for example, for a gay person online to solicit a same-sex partner that is actively searching for same-sex partners on a dating website, than for a gay person to go up to a person in a bar and ask them out, not knowing if they are gay. That is definitely how a lot of violence does take place.

So you're entitled to your opinion and all, I'm just curious as to how you're backing it up.

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:35 pm

Keakealani

Raeiko

ok well I wasn't shooting it down completely and I just know of too many stories of people getting hurt and actually a friend of mine being a victim, Beside's it's just my opinion I personally wouldn't do it. Also it's just harder to find a LGBT dating site then it is to find a hetero. that's what I was saying

Well I mean, yeah. There are more hetero people in the world than LGBT, so that would pretty much be true except possibly in a gay bar. I am not sure that is a particularly valid criticism, since it's just the fact of numbers.

And on the same note, I just don't see how it's any more dangerous than other methods. There is always the chance of getting hurt - and that is definitely especially true for LGBT people. But I'm not seeing how that is anything other than a fact of numbers, which doesn't have anything to do with online dating. If we want to have a discussion about how LGBT people are disproportionately likely to be the victims of violent crime, well then yeah... but that is true no matter what the scenario. And in a lot of ways, I feel that it is safer, for example, for a gay person online to solicit a same-sex partner that is actively searching for same-sex partners on a dating website, than for a gay person to go up to a person in a bar and ask them out, not knowing if they are gay. That is definitely how a lot of violence does take place.

So you're entitled to your opinion and all, I'm just curious as to how you're backing it up.

well it's hard to know who exactly you are seeing online. I just did a huge 20 page thesis paper on this topic for my college.

here are several examples:

http://digital.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20091022-175179.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2201064/Man-murders-girl-16-testify-raping-years-ago--lured-death-posing-teen-Facebook.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1378621/Match-com-rape-victim-Carole-Markin-speaks-sex-offender.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20065699-504083.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-christian-dating-site-find-rape-victim-cops-article-1.1266583

http://www.baltimoretimeline.com/murders2.htm

http://www.trueghosttales.com/paranormal/young-girl-murdered-by-man-she-met-online/

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=6030655&page=1#.UV9yTJPFWQk

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=6022007&page=1#.UV9ykZPFWQk

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=6022007&page=1#.UV9ykZPFWQk

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389994/Girl-12-raped-man-met-Facebook-pretended-13-year-old-disabled-Disney-accident.html

http://www.helium.com/items/1836101-facebook-nona-myspace-craigslist-killer

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/01/27/man-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-13-year-old-met-on-myspace/

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2013/02/11/man-charged-with-arson-murder-of-woman-he-met-on-online-dating/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/7719428/Mother-killed-by-man-she-met-on-Facebook-after-whirlwind-romance.html

http://www.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20091028-176414.html

Also the Craig's list killer

http://crime.about.com/od/craigslist/a/philip-markoff.htm

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/04/justice/craiglist-killer-death-sentence/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/craigslistkiller/9-famous-online-killers

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-09-10/news/ct-met-online-assault-charges-20110910_1_sexual-assault-west-suburban-woman-website

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/01/online-dating-more-dangerous-than-other-dating.html

http://www.9news.com/rss/story.aspx?storyid=241895

http://blog.instantcheckmate.com/the-dangers-of-online-dating-hit-all-time-high/

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/11/police-arrrest-hawthorne-man-accused-of-raping-woman-met-online.html

http://www.phillyburbs.com/my_town/bensalem/murder-suspect-victim-met-through-online-dating-service/article_d9958f6a-c894-5564-bf90-0bd1d64aee85.html

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2012/11/30/dead-man-identified-in-online-date-murder-case/index.html

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2012/11/29/two-found-dead-in-search-for-woman-missing-after-online-date/index.html

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-11-22/news/ct-met-online-dating-20121122_1_spark-networks-true-com-online-relationship-site

http://www.kcbd.com/story/16489333/kendrick-pleads-guilty-to-murder-sentenced-to-life-without-parole

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=8072181

http://www.familysafecomputers.org/predators.htm

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/americas/the-dangerous-side-of-online-dating

there was more articles that I used but I could not find them again at the moment, One being so horrible I can not post it.

Raeiko

Offline

Taeryyn
Captain

Man-Hungry Ladykiller

Offline

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:59 pm

Undoubtedly one could find just as many cases of assault and murder that involve people who didn't meet online.

Obviously there are safety precautions that should be kept in mind, whether you meet someone on the internet or through other means. That doesn't mean that it's "extremely dangerous" to use dating websites.

Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:30 pm

Raeiko

I mean, yes. Sexual assault obviously happens pretty frequently online. My question is still about whether there is a statistically significant difference between online dating contexts and other similar dating contexts, such as things like speed dating, randomly hooking up with someone at a bar, or blind date situations, among others. I think it should be obvious that caution should be taken with regards to all potential assault situations and that there are many social problems that contribute to assault and violence, but I am unsure how that is different than the general likelihood someone will be assaulted by other means. It's pretty much undeniable fact that women, young people, and LGBT people are higher targets of esp. sexual violence, but that doesn't mean that those people engaging in dating online have a higher risk than those populations engaging in other similar types of dating that aren't online.

Edit: It would also be more helpful than linkspam to highlight specifics that support your points, rather than just general articles that pertain vaguely to the point of discussion.

Keakealani

Intellectual Elocutionist

12,850 Points

300
100
200

Offline

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

The Gaian Gay-Straight Alliance

Quick Reply

More Information