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 Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:47 pm
Hello there!
I'm currently working on this piece (and many others) and I was wondering if you guys would take the time to read it and give me some criticism on it.
I'm still working on them, so, of course, they wouldn't be in tip-top shape.
I'll probably be posting different things from different stories, so I'll try to catigorize them or title them as best as I can.
Please don't steal any parts or ideas of my story without my permission.
Pleases and thank yous.
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Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:57 pm
Excerpt from 'Project K' : XXXXXX Ryan felt numb all over his body. Not a single muscle didn't ache against the hard rubble both on top and below him. He slowly clutched his hands, testing for feeling and waiting for another blow. Ryan knew they were still there, they wouldn't leave him until he was truly unmoving and dead. Why? What did he do to have this happen to him? Ryan couldn't help but release a chuckle. Oh how much did the fates despise him? He slowly opened his eyes. The sound of soft footsteps approached him. He couldn't see them, even with the small sliver of light emitting from the window behind him. He slowly rose onto his knees, trying to be quiet, but his wish fell short handed. He heard them surround him. Those masked freaks. They were worse than any minion in any movie he had ever seen. And he had seen many movies before. Ryan stood trying to relocate the position of door out of this forsaken warehouse.
XXXXXX "So. I guess this is where I say my last words, huh?" He said. His voice cracked and slightly trembled. He took a step forward, then another, slowly inching his way towards the door. "Ah... I'd like to say... farewell to... my mom?" Ryan quickly thought of other ways to stall as he took more steps. "To all the ice cream I haven't yet gorged, to the raunchy videos and images I have yet to see," Ryan let out a small burst of laughter. This was the most depressing speech he had ever made. With another step, he saw the glint of a doorknob and ran for it.
XXXXXX He hadn't even finished his stride, when he was tackled to the opposite wall. A cold blade pressed against his neck, a hand grabbed his hair and jerked it backwards. Ryan then saw what he was up against as they all stepped into the light. The people - no- the creatures before him were all dark, damp and asymmetrical. They appeared human, but each of them had an aspect that made them look crooked and hellish. Whether it was the sharp, unnatural angle of their legs, arms, neck or back, or the deep scaring or the black fluid that seeped out from them, he didn't want to look. He couldn't even imagine what was underneath the dark venetian bauta masks they wore. They looked like creatures straight out of a horror movie. As they surrounded them, he knew he wouldn't survive the night let alone the next few moments, there were at least ten of them. Ryan nearly retched as the stench of the one behind him moved closer.
XXXXXX "Ubi sunt dimidia sanguinibus?" It hissed. It's voice sounded like the feeling of scratching a block of ice with your fingertips.
XXXXXX "I-I don't understand." He choked out.
XXXXXX "Ubi sunt dimidium-sanguis filii? Scimus te scire." It's voice more violent and raspy. The blade dug deeper into his skin and his head was jerked once more. "Minor te vidimus."
XXXXXX "I don't know what you're saying."
XXXXXX " Occidere eum! Da ei mortem!" One of the bellowed. The others made a noise that sounded like agreement. " Occidere eum! Da ei mortem!" They chanted.
XXXXXX The creature behind him let out a high-pitched scream of delight. Ryan quickly closed his eyes. If he went, he wouldn't want the last thing he saw to be those creatures or the sight of his blood gushing out of his body. The chanting grew louder, then a distorted cry interrupted them. Ryan opened his eyes to see one of the creatures fall onto the ground, lying motionless before turning to ash. He looked at the others in panic. A shadow moved behind the creatures and stood beside one. For a moment, the figure just stood there, looking at him. The figure looked human. It wasn't until he noticed the red hoodie and the simple mask covering the figure's lower face that recognition hit him.
XXXXXX "It's you." He murmured.
XXXXXX The figure's left eye began to glow a luminescent red. The creatures gave a swift look at the newcomer before charging. The figure turned and unsheathed two long knives. As quickly as the figure arrived, the creatures fell into piles of ash with every swift and precise swing and blow. As the creatures became occupied, Ryan took the chance to get away from his captor. He knocked the knife away and elbowed the creature behind him in the stomach. However, Ryan couldn't see well enough to avoid the creature's other arm which struck him with enough force to send him flying into the opposite wall.
●--------------- ๑★✧۩۩✧★๑ ---------------●
XXXXXX Ryan awoke to the same feeling he felt before, but this time he was somehow sitting up. He coughed out bits of drywall that someway happened to get inside his mouth. When he looked up, he gasped, which made his cough even more. The figure was face to face with him, their noses a few inches from barely touching.
XXXXXX "Dude!" Ryan pushed the figure's shoulders away from him. The figure fell backwards into a sitting position similar to Ryan's. The figure's hood dropped revealing short, dark, shaggy hair. Unfazed by the physical attack that just happened, the figure just looked at him. Ryan glanced at the figure's way. How did this guy just take on a bunch of hellish creatures down in just a few moments, and some since he didn't know how long he'd been out? Ryan sighed and buried his head in his hands. It was officially the worst night of his life, next to the time he'd almost gotten run over by some drunk kid. Ryan shook his head and turned to the guy that had just saved his life.
XXXXXX A moment of silence passed between them. "You're not going to kill me too, right?" He asked questionably.
XXXXXX The figure didn't respond for a few moments. It shrugged as if it was unsure then shook it's head and looked at the empty warehouse before them. It was clear with the exception of a few piles of ash.
XXXXXX Ryan let out an unsteady breath. "Thank you. For saving me. Twice... Thanks."
XXXXXX The figure shrugged again as if it wasn't a big thing.
XXXXXX Ryan took another look at the figure. It's left eye wasn't weirdly glowing red anymore. It must have been the lighting that tricked his eyes. But when Ryan looked at the other side of the figure's face, it was taken up by a goggle of what seemed like a gas mask. Ryan tilted his head. It seemed the majority of the figure's face was taken up by a gas mask, except for the 1/3 that revealed it's left eye. The figure seemed similar to the creatures before, but was completely different at the same time. Ryan couldn't put his finger on it though.
XXXXXX "Thanks again." He said. After the two encounters he had with the figure, he still hadn't received the guy's name. "I don't believe I've gotten your name. I'm Ryan Grigori. What's yours?"
XXXXXX The figure tensed as if it were contemplating whether to leave or stay. The figure took a hand and drew on the floor of the warehouse. Ryan carefully leaned over to look. There, drawn on the floor, was a single letter.
XXXXXX K
XXXXXX Ryan frowned. "Your name's 'K'?" He asked. It was hardly a name at all.
XXXXXX The figure gave a curt nod.
XXXXXX Well, at least it was something. Ryan outstretched a hand. "Thank you K."
XXXXXX K stared at him, then at his hand. Cautiously, K's hand met his and shook it.
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