I think there comes a point when most people feel that way. What is our future? How can we know everything will be all right, especially when things don't feel all right in the present?
That's why I find it better to realize this: I can't know what the future has in store, because it's not here yet. Only the present is here, so this is where I have to start making the best decisions for myself. When I'm feeling sad when thinking about my future, wondering if it's going to be bleak, I remind myself that all I can do is look to now and make the most of that.
It's hard, though. We live in a modern culture where everyone wants us to plan ahead. You know—what are you going to do, or where are you going to be in five years? You can say where you'd
like to be, but who really knows? Things change, plans change, and people change. There's only so much we can do to prepare for things we have no actual control over, which is the future.
Don't be scared of something that is beyond your control. Take advantage of the fact that you can do things right now.
You're not being dramatic about it. As I said, I think most people have these moments. It's not fun being aware of the truth that the future is something that we can't grasp, no matter how much we try to plan for it. But in that, we can see that all we can do is live for ourselves, and for others, today.
smile And I think that holds a lot less stress.
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Even though I don't think I have anyone remotely interested in me, and I have no interest in anyone else, I'm afraid to get into a relationship because I am afraid of them.
Hm... I can relate to this fear in a very personal way. I have been hurt in the past, in more ways than one, and it has really damaged my thoughts and feelings about relationships and intimacy. But I do now that there are honest and loving people out there in the world despite my own fears. I only hope that one day, I can meet one of those people and experience something wonderful. I hope that same thing for you, and that it would heal your own fears.
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I feel like I'm not comfortable with my sexuality at all anymore. I thought I knew for a little while who I was but I feel like I don't anymore.
Well, I don't think your sexuality is what makes you who you are. What makes you who you are is what's in your mind and heart. Your sexuality is just an expression of what you're physically attracted to, and for a good number of people, sexuality can go through periods of change. Perhaps that's what you're experiencing, and it's perfectly normal. If you don't know exactly what you want right now, that's OK—don't let it stop you from growing in other areas in your life.
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I know people come an go but I wish just once I had someone in my life that I could talk to, I mean really talk to about things. They talk to me about everything but I don't feel comfortable enough with them to tell them most things about me.
If you just need someone to listen and understand, it looks like you already got two people willing to do that right here in this thread.
smile
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