So this guy I've like for about a month now has recently informed me that we could never be more than friends because A) I'm graduating college this semester, and he still has a few more years left and B) we live far apart and a long-distance relationship would ultimately fail.
Now, I told him how I felt ages ago, but also said that I didn't want him to feel pressured to respond right away until he got to know me better. I figured it was better just to be honest and not worry about trying to keep my cool around him.
I don't know when he decided this, but he never talked with me about it, not even to casually sound out my opinion in that way people do when they're pretending that your opinion isn't going to affect how they think of you. He didn't even have the nerve to tell me before now, leaving me to serious self-analysis that was leading into a downward spiral of negativity.
You know what really sucks? Even though he's a jerk, even though I feel pretty hurt over the fact that he won't try to think of me as more than just a friend, I still care about him. I don't fall in love lightly. The last guy I dated was around three years ago, and that was a two-year relationship. I don't fall easily, but when I do, I fall hard. I want to be the person that he turns to when he's feeling happy or sad, cliched as that sounds. I want to be the person that inspires him to write poetry. I want to show him that a relationship doesn't have to involve a nasty dance of backstabbing and emotional turmoil. I want to show him how much I care in ways a friend cannot. These desires of mine are extremely selfish, but I can't help it. He's a great guy when he's not being an idiotic, self-absorbed, stupid jerk.
I don't know what I'm going to do about this.
Now, I told him how I felt ages ago, but also said that I didn't want him to feel pressured to respond right away until he got to know me better. I figured it was better just to be honest and not worry about trying to keep my cool around him.
I don't know when he decided this, but he never talked with me about it, not even to casually sound out my opinion in that way people do when they're pretending that your opinion isn't going to affect how they think of you. He didn't even have the nerve to tell me before now, leaving me to serious self-analysis that was leading into a downward spiral of negativity.
You know what really sucks? Even though he's a jerk, even though I feel pretty hurt over the fact that he won't try to think of me as more than just a friend, I still care about him. I don't fall in love lightly. The last guy I dated was around three years ago, and that was a two-year relationship. I don't fall easily, but when I do, I fall hard. I want to be the person that he turns to when he's feeling happy or sad, cliched as that sounds. I want to be the person that inspires him to write poetry. I want to show him that a relationship doesn't have to involve a nasty dance of backstabbing and emotional turmoil. I want to show him how much I care in ways a friend cannot. These desires of mine are extremely selfish, but I can't help it. He's a great guy when he's not being an idiotic, self-absorbed, stupid jerk.
I don't know what I'm going to do about this.
