Welcome to Gaia! ::

So, I'll be honest. It's been a while since I've been to church. Part of the reason is that I've been fairly content to simply worship in my own way, but lately I've been feeling that I would really enjoy having some support and fellowship with other Christians beyond my interactions online. I just...don't really know how to go about finding a church with a congregation that would work well with me. I was raised Catholic, and while I still very much enjoy attending Catholic mass, I feel a bit like a fraud attending a Catholic church because when it comes right down to it, I'm just not Catholic anymore, in beliefs and in behaviour.

Several years ago I had an absolutely terrible experience with a non-denominational Protestant church, and that's admittedly made me a little gunshy with trying out new churches.

I'm not a very traditional Christian, or a very traditional person, and while I'm perfectly capable of respecting more orthodox beliefs, I'd much rather find a congregation where my beliefs will be equally respected and I won't have to feel like the black sheep or the red-headed step-child.

For those of you who are part of a church congregation, how did you go about finding it? Are you happy there? What's it like, and what do you like about it (or what don't you like about it)? Do you have any good advice to give in regards to finding the "right church for you"?

That's very good advice, thank you.

I guess that for me, above all, what's really important is finding a congregation that is humble and free of any "holier than thou" attitude, serious about their faith, and serious about trying to better themselves and doing what they can to better the world. Because that's how I try to live my life and I don't really think you're a good Christian if those sorts of philosophies and actions don't play a large role in your life. I know that many, if not most churches profess to do this sort of stuff, but I also know that in reality, many of them are pretty much the opposite.

I know that the only way to weed out the good from the bad is just trial and error.

I was very fortunate to find my church right off the bat. A new plant had been doing some viral marketing in my area, so I went and it turned out to be a great fit for me and my partner. It's centered on local missions and teaching Biblical truth.

Being in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, I can pass for straight, but I still can't be part of a church that doesn't openly welcome LGBT people. A great resource for me has been the Gay Christian Network, which has an online forum as well as regional meetups. Lucky for me, my pastor doesn't believe that sexual orientation is the deciding factor in the future of our souls, and he tends not to talk about it. He personally believes in "argument A", but doesn't harp on it.

Do you have a local Christian radio station? Sometimes if you e-mail them, they can send you a list of churches they recommend. RadioU is a very progressive Christian station that has branches all over the country. They might have some good ideas for you.

Keep looking for churches, bro. It often helps to weed out ones that accept the weird and ones that don't if you dress particularly weird. I love my congregation! I show up with an eight inch fanned out mo-hawk and, apart from the occasional stares I get, I'm treated just like everyone else. I know it's hard finding a place that accepts the weird and rebellious, but keep looking and I'll definitely be praying for you and your search!

My advice, casually show them off. I don't know. Be yourself. Sometimes I show up to church in a kilt, just for kicks and giggles. Go for it. Seriously. Test it out. I can guarantee you that those who have truly been changed by Christ and really know Him personally are going to accept you. They may possibly ask a a few questions, but as long as you have logical sounding answers and stuff, you'll be fine. But seriously, dress like a wacko. Dance in the aisles if the song's really upbeat. Remember, David danced around in his underwear in the middle of the city and he said he'd be even MORE undignified if he wanted to!

You know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and perhaps my opinion won't apply to you, but maybe it'll ring a bell.

A lot of people seem to grow up in church, and leave when they can because they never believed. A lot of people lose their faith at some point, and leave. I left my church because I still believed.

I won't go into great detail about what my pastor said, but I will point out that it was fairly uncharacteristic of him. I'd grown to respect him over the years because he was a very genuine person, and was, himself, the target of several death threats because of some of his apparently "radical" ideas like "I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, that's between you and God." I used to talk to him whenever I could, after services, and ask him about all kinds of things that were on my mind. Eventually, we built a welcome room, and he was always too busy greeting new people to have time for me. It was fine, but slowly over time I started to notice he'd changed. He had no fire, and preached rather repetitive things. He spoke with fairly little conviction, and even little things like body language changed. I never really did figure out what happened, but the point it became obvious to me was a point of no return.

Needless to say, I don't tolerate fear mongering and political agendas. About the very same he said caused one of my friends to outright walk out of his church mid service. I waited for it to end, but I never came back. Given some of the things I've heard, I'm glad I didn't.

I needed what I got there, and I don't regret a day I spent there, but I think I've grown beyond the need for it. I don't need some man preaching at me to remind me of what I've done wrong - I know that much on my own. I don't need to emotionlessly droll on with some choir and orchestra to honor God, it always felt superficial anyways.

At some point I may go church hunting to once again find some community, but I know I'll feel alone there too. I figure, why spend time in church when you could spend it in a more meaningful way. Go volunteer at the homeless shelter / thrift store / soup kitchen. You'll get a heck of a lot more meaning out of that than anything else.

I'm not in that different of a situation myself. My family is, what I can only describe as "less religious than me." It was typically me dragging them to church. I'm fairly distant from them, and tbh, it feels like asking a child about brain surgery. I never grew up with "christian friends." I've always been the weird pseudoreligious kid of the group, and never really fit in with all the Christian kids.

I'd go around to a few public service places, and ask around there. Maybe you'll find people who really have their priorities in the right place.