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 Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:19 pm
Anyone else feel extra pressure in sports due to sexual orientation. Whilst I did say sports. It would also relevant if anyone has anything in regards to work as well
I've been a part of a university sports team for a fair few months now. I enjoy it very much and my teammates are a pretty nice bunch of people, despite the majority of them having really contrasting hobbies and personality to myself.
Whilst I always want to win matches and tournaments just as much as the rest of the team...... I kind of feel like due to me being bisexual it adds an extra pressure for to make sure I play well.
I don't know why, but I kind of have this concern that if I don't play well or have a couple of bad training sessions or matches and at some point in time they discover that I'am bi. It might change their attitude or friendliness towards me.
Whilst if I play really well and they discover at some point that I'm bi. I kind of feel that it might dispel any negative connotations, opinions or whatever they might have previously held. Its pretty hard to explain
Now I know my teammates are all really decent people and I really doubt I would get genuine hostility, but I kind of always have this lingering thought that because of the reasons I listed above that I need to make sure I play well at every opportunity to prove some purpose. Maybe its my ego or just my mind messing me up.
But I kind of feel this extra pressure to perform well at sports
I'm really curious does anyone else have this or ever had this type of thing?
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:32 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:50 am
i did sports in highschool, i was also having trouble accepting myself back then. but the most akward thig i ever experienced due to my bisexualness was feeling akward in the girl's locker room. knowing some of the girls i went to school with its probably for the best that no one knew i likes other ladies
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 12:35 pm
Not really? I practice martial arts so I don't really have to worry about what anybody on a team thinks. I did used to get some s**t over the fact that I'm female and a martial artist though and occasionally I felt the need to do better because of that. But I've been practicing for something like 15 years now, so everyone knows me and I don't really get crap anymore. I've more than proved that I can hold my own.
I always used to feel awkward changing for gym in junior high though. I wasn't out at the time and I was so confused and terrified that someone would look at me and somehow know. Which was silly and irrational, but I was terrified anyways.
In high school I didn't really do any school sports, but I was in the marching band. I know some GLBT kids felt awkward on overnight trips and such. But my section was full of gay. So not so much a problem there. I was out by then and never felt awkward or had a problem.
I had an ex who dropped out of field hockey in college because she felt too awkward because of her sexuality. I believe she said she never really fit in with the team because of it. Which I never really understood because I went to a really GLBT friendly college, and if I remember right, the field hockey coach was openly a lesbian. She was always a bit paranoid/weird though so I'm not sure how much of that was just in her head.
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 12:50 pm
I've never taken a sport, but I've played some during gym classes a couple years ago. I've had games that I've sucked at (basketball) and others in which I annihilated (floor hockey). But what I'm trying to say is that there would be no way to be certain based on performance. We all have our strengths and weaknesses -- ours good days and our bad ones. Besides, I don't think your team would know unless you explicitly told them yourself. So, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just do your best.
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:03 pm
I have felt a certain sense of need to further prove myself but I think that also spawns from the fact that I have a fraternal twin brother and he was always better at sports than I.
Generally speaking though, I am a bit more competitive than others but at the same time I don't feel a need to constantly excel at everything. It wouldn't make sense to have to excel at everything, no one does.
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:14 pm
The pressure I felt wasn't so much performance issues. Some guys on my soccer team felt that isolating me from them would force me into being heterosexual or something. Then I was chosen as captain, so there doomed plans failed ahead of schedule.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:59 am
Nutty_ The Squirrell The pressure I felt wasn't so much performance issues. Some guys on my soccer team felt that isolating me from them would force me into being heterosexual or something. Then I was chosen as captain, so there doomed plans failed ahead of schedule. ...What? Where is the logic in that? "If we make him feel alone, he'll become straight! Or change somehow!" I just don't see the logic behind this at all.Other than thinking that their companionship is more important than anything else to you obviously.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:52 pm
DarkDaisuke9 Nutty_ The Squirrell The pressure I felt wasn't so much performance issues. Some guys on my soccer team felt that isolating me from them would force me into being heterosexual or something. Then I was chosen as captain, so there doomed plans failed ahead of schedule. ...What? Where is the logic in that? "If we make him feel alone, he'll become straight! Or change somehow!" I just don't see the logic behind this at all.Other than thinking that their companionship is more important than anything else to you obviously. I never really got it either. Some peoples' minds I will never get.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 1:54 pm
Nutty_ The Squirrell DarkDaisuke9 Nutty_ The Squirrell The pressure I felt wasn't so much performance issues. Some guys on my soccer team felt that isolating me from them would force me into being heterosexual or something. Then I was chosen as captain, so there doomed plans failed ahead of schedule. ...What? Where is the logic in that? "If we make him feel alone, he'll become straight! Or change somehow!" I just don't see the logic behind this at all.Other than thinking that their companionship is more important than anything else to you obviously. I never really got it either. Some peoples' minds I will never get. It's more likely that these individuals isolated you simply because they either felt uncomfortable around you or they didn't notice you. Perhaps you had conflicts with other members of the group in the past. Though, I hardly think your sexuality had anything to do with it. In terms of the 'forcing you to be heterosexual' part, is this an assumption that you're making?
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:00 pm
Meziaster It's more likely that these individuals isolated you simply because they either felt uncomfortable around you or they didn't notice you. Perhaps you had conflicts with other members of the group in the past. Though, I hardly think your sexuality had anything to do with it. In terms of the 'forcing you to be heterosexual' part, is this an assumption that you're making? I know this incident, I'm friends with Nutty_ The Squirrell in off line life. I over head them talking about it, saying that they'll "isolate him until he starts liking girls like a normal guy." .x. I still don't get their logic. I was the one who told him about what they were doing.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:16 pm
Lifty_Raccoon Meziaster It's more likely that these individuals isolated you simply because they either felt uncomfortable around you or they didn't notice you. Perhaps you had conflicts with other members of the group in the past. Though, I hardly think your sexuality had anything to do with it. In terms of the 'forcing you to be heterosexual' part, is this an assumption that you're making? I know this incident, I'm friends with Nutty_ The Squirrell in off line life. I over head them talking about it, saying that they'll "isolate him until he starts liking girls like a normal guy." .x. I still don't get their logic. I was the one who told him about what they were doing. I find it funny that you said, "I still don't get their logic", instead of, "I don't understand it either." Nevertheless, it sounds like a lame excuse; one that doesn't even make any sense, for that matter. In my opinion, those people aren't worth hanging around, especially if they want nothing to do with you. All you have to do is cooperate with them in order to be successful as a team. Aside from that, you'll have the opportunity to meet others elsewhere -- individuals that are actually willing to give you a chance.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:44 pm
People guys and girls alike give me slack for lifting weights so I can empathize a lot. Guys can be really rude about it. stressed but girls can be just as prudish. Wish people would learn how to not give a crap about me lifting weights, mostly b/c I'm one of those self-conscious ones. I do my best to drive through since I really really don't want to be obese again.
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