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 Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:15 pm
My hope is, in you Lord... "Romans 5:3-5"
I'm really struggling with feeling like the things I'm facing are valid issues. I don't feel like my feelings, thoughts, struggles, my past is valid or a valid reason to have PTSD or triggers that can tear me down.
I don't know how to explain it, but I guess it could be summed by this this: I feel less than everyone else. I have terrible self esteem and I feel pretty worthless.
I know I am a child of God, and my worth is in Him, but I think I forgot how to access that confidence...
Any bible verses, or book suggestions, or any other kind of advice is welcome! I need all the help I can get.
...I won't be shaken by drought or storm "Psalm 62:6"
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:59 pm
Psalm 139
God’s Perfect Knowledge of Man
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:46 pm
If I'm understanding correctly, you feel "less than" because you don't have it as bad? (you don't think you have valid reasons to go by the label of "PTSD" compared to someone else who "legitimately" has it worse off than you?)
Well, a few things:
1) What is the standard for measuring "how traumatizing" a situation is? does it matter how severely traumatizing an event is for someone to have PTSD? and why is "PTSD" such a strong label for you? It's a man-made label. You shouldn't care to be defined by it. I don't think our Heavenly Father is thinking of you by how mankind defines "disorders" either. From the sounds of it, you're feeling self-conscious about belonging to a PTSD community. If that is the case, you're placing too much importance on what fellow human-beings think of you (especially fellow PTSD-ers or someone who may know a person with PTSD who's in contact with you).
2) if you know someone who went through something more difficult, that is a reason to be grateful; you should be feeling humbled. Give thanks to YHWH if your situation isn't as severe as others. This in no way belittles your experience because it obviously affected you.
3) there's no use in comparing yourself to others (am I better than them, worse off than them, etc...) because all of us are insignificant specks of dust in comparison to our Heavenly Father so what's the use in trying to be better or worse than another speck of dust? Being "less traumatized" than others (if that's even the case) shouldn't make you feel worse about yourself. We're all equally damaged, whether some of us go through traumatic experiences or not, because we're all born in sin.
Whether a sin was committed against you or someone around you, it was physically or emotionally violent enough to the point that it traumatized you. Maybe others wouldn't have been traumatized by it, but the point is you were. What traumatizes one person may not traumatize the next.
edit: basically what I'm saying is 1) stop attaching yourself to the "PTSD" label (is there any good reason why you want to identify yourself as this?) 2) Give thanks for your situation and how it turned out, it could be worse and 3) we won't be traumatized by the same things; there's no use comparing.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:02 pm
real eyes realize If I'm understanding correctly, you feel "less than" because you don't have it as bad? (you don't think you have valid reasons to go by the label of "PTSD" compared to someone else who "legitimately" has it worse off than you?) Well, a few things: 1) What is the standard for measuring "how traumatizing" a situation is? does it matter how severely traumatizing an event is for someone to have PTSD? and why is "PTSD" such a strong label for you? It's a man-made label. You shouldn't care to be defined by it. I don't think our Heavenly Father is thinking of you by how mankind defines "disorders" either. From the sounds of it, you're feeling self-conscious about belonging to a PTSD community. If that is the case, you're placing too much importance on what fellow human-beings think of you (especially fellow PTSD-ers or someone who may know a person with PTSD who's in contact with you). 2) if you know someone who went through something more difficult, that is a reason to be grateful; you should be feeling humbled. Give thanks to YHWH if your situation isn't as severe as others. This in no way belittles your experience because it obviously affected you. 3) there's no use in comparing yourself to others (am I better than them, worse off than them, etc...) because all of us are insignificant specks of dust in comparison to our Heavenly Father so what's the use in trying to be better or worse than another speck of dust? Being "less traumatized" than others (if that's even the case) shouldn't make you feel worse about yourself. We're all equally damaged, whether some of us go through traumatic experiences or not, because we're all born in sin. Whether a sin was committed against you or someone around you, it was physically or emotionally violent enough to the point that it traumatized you. Maybe others wouldn't have been traumatized by it, but the point is you were. What traumatizes one person may not traumatize the next. edit: basically what I'm saying is 1) stop attaching yourself to the "PTSD" label (is there any good reason why you want to identify yourself as this?) 2) Give thanks for your situation and how it turned out, it could be worse and 3) we won't be traumatized by the same things; there's no use comparing. My hope is, in you Lord... "Romans 5:3-5"
I don't feel less than because other people have it worse, or because my experiences are legitimately things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
I have PTSD and it's the easiest way to describe what happens when I flip out. There are things when done by myself or others I can completely fall to pieces in a matter of seconds. Then reality comes back and I realize its a trigger and I most often give it to the Lord. These are uncontrollable results from what was done to me. I avoid the "triggers" as best as possible but they just happen in everyday life.
I think you missed the mark of what I was trying to say, and I don't really have a way to explain it.
I've been put down for who I was for many years, by my immediate family, their friends, cousins, you name it. It led to attempts at suicide, cutting, self mutilation, all those things. I know I am a smart person who has a LOT to offer. I know I am a caring loving person who wants Jesus to be seen above all else.
I am struggling with finding my validation in God and not in the words spat at me by those who were my world. Those same people, now that they know of the traumas I hid from them, say they could never have survived what I've been through, they don't know how I stayed as strong as I did. That's all God's work in my life and I try to show them that. So they have changed their ways and became understanding, I'm still damaged though. I have forgiven them completely and harbor no ill will toward them.
...I won't be shaken by drought or storm "Psalm 62:6"
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:03 pm
My hope is, in you Lord... "Romans 5:3-5"
Thank you, I looked it up in my bible and highlighted some scripture.
...I won't be shaken by drought or storm "Psalm 62:6"
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:31 pm
My hope is, in you Lord... "Romans 5:3-5"
I feel misunderstood ( by those I know, not because of the responses) and it's frustrating because I know there are people who do understand. I am not the only one experiencing the things I'm experiencing... it would be ridiculous of me to believe that.
I haven't found people I can trust. I can trust God, of course and he knows all my sins, thoughts, feelings, words spoken... I need to be able to share those things with another person or persons. I know it's possible because I see people do it all the time.
This all interconnects with how I'm feeling and it's just a jumbled mess right now within myself. I feel like I am being a barrier between God and my heart and I feel stuck on getting out of His way for Him to preform His miracles.
...I won't be shaken by drought or storm "Psalm 62:6"
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 5:56 pm
First, I'd like to make a point that I'm not a great communicator. So, if this isn't clear, please let me know and hopefully I can explain myself better with this written communication. Now, know that no one is less than one, nor is anyone more than one. I admit I do not personally know anyone with PTSD, but I know all can be overcome with the Lord Jesus Christ. Should you wish, you can read Psalm 119, Psalm 144, and/or Isiah 24. May the Lord Jesus Christ comfort you. God bless.
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