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Day 30, Highs and Lows

The ups and downs of life, for most people they seem like slightly hilly back roads. But for someone who isn't normal, someone who lives on two poles, the ups and downs of life are more like a wild roller coaster ride. Twists and turns, ups and downs, loopty-loops, upside-down, and so much more can happen in a single day. These things don't just effect the person who feels them, they effect everyone near by. They even effect random people on the street who get caught up in the maelstrom of emotion and thought that runs through our heads. I should know, I deal with it every day. There is no stopping it from coming, only coping with it when it hits. Medication, therapy, they aren't cures, they only make things a little easier and they don't always work. It isn't the same for everyone either, just because something works for someone doesn't mean it will work for everyone. And oh the ups and downs so fast and confusing, a never ending whirl wind through your head. And yet, at times, I love it.

Day 32, Betrayal

I loved him once
Or at least thought I did
I gave him chance after chance
Like a desperate kid

The lying didn't stop
I was thrown in the back
Never to be the one on top
Being important, what a hack

It got worse as time went on
The feelings within my heart
But I would no longer be his pawn
I should have known it from the start

The cheating is where I drew the line
Betrayal is not a game to play
In your darkest hour I will shine
And leave before the love day

Shattered is my trust
Love thrown in the trash
My heart will turn to dust
Until I found the one who will crash

Breaking all of my walls
Tearing into my soul
Like rain my love falls
Saving me was his goal

Betrayal replaced by loyalty
A feeling like nothing ever before
He made me feel like royalty
Even though we were poor

Something that will never end
A promise we made to each other
All the way through the abyss we will send
And our love will go even farther

Day 34, Tomorrow

They say the sun will always rise the next day, that tomorrow is always a new day. But what if tomorrow never happened again, what if you were stuck in today? Tomorrow is never guaranteed, you never know if it will really come it is only a hope. All you ever have is today and yesterday, and soon today may become yesterday. Make today a good memory, make it better than yesterday but not just for yourself. Just because today may be your last day, doesn't mean its everyone's last day. Make today a good yesterday for everyone's tomorrow. Do the small things that make the ones you love smile, and those random faces on the street too if you can. Today doesn't just belong to you, and neither does tomorrow, it belongs to everyone. Make today count, so tomorrow can be even better.

Day 36, Refugee

I lay here in this small cage, so cold and tired my body can't even shiver to keep warm anymore. My fur has fallen out in so many places that I almost look like I'm not even supposed to have any. I remember when I was just a pup, my fur was so pretty. A bright vibrant red that my siblings envied, but now the only vibrant red left is the spatters of blood from the freshest wounds. My tail hurts from the rubber band they keep trying to use to cut it off, it used to be my prized possession so fluffy and strong. I wish I had never been brought here, this pain is becoming so unbearable that I can't stand it anymore. I see the neighborhood kids playing with their dogs through the cracks in my cage and I find myself getting so jealous I can't stop barking and crying. The beatings have become so much more common lately, but so have my owner's fights. Sometimes I wonder if they are just taking out all their anger on me because I can't fight back anymore. I loved them once, so very much. They used to treat me so well, I got the best food and always went on the greatest walks. But now everything is so different, I don't know what I did to make them hate me so much now. I cry to myself at night and they come out and beat me more, I just don't understand it. I wish I had never been brought here, I wish someone would come and save me.
This had gone on long enough, I could no longer stand it. One night I made up my mind, I would escape this place and find my own child to love and who would love me. I stood shakily in the dead of night when I knew my owners were sleeping. The boards to my cage were starting to rot away after the years of weather and were beginning to weaken. My body was weak and sore but I used all of my might to break through. It took me several tries and made a lot of noise but I was able to escape before they were able to stop me. As I escaped the fence and ran down the street, I looked back to see them chasing after me. I mustered all of my will to survive and ran faster. They screamed at me to return but I would no longer listen to them, I was finally free from them. Even if my life ended up worse off, at least it wasn't with them.
After a few minutes of the chase they gave up and went home, I guess I wasn't worth the effort anymore. I smiled with all of my hope and continued down the next few streets at the fastest pace I could keep. After blocks of running I found a building that smelled delicious, there was no one arround and the smells were coming from outside. I circled the building looking for the source and soon found it in a large metal bin. As exhausted as I was, I couldn't jump in bu thankfully some had fallen to the ground. As I dug in a cat ran at me hissing, I was in no shape to contend with a hostile cat and ran for my life.
Depressed by my loss, I decided to find a safe place and get some sleep. I remembered a small park that my owners took me to once when I was just a pup and headed in the direction I thought it was. As I traveled along the road large boxes with bright lights kept coming at me and making a loud roaring noise at me. I ran from them as fast as I could but they kept coming one after another. I needed to get across the street to get to the park but I was so scared by those boxes I gave up. Instead I decided to go down a small dark street with no loud boxes. This street had smaller metal bins that smelled good, but every time I tried to get near one, a cat chased me off.
My depression was deepening, maybe I should have stayed. Soon I came across another dog, she was very pretty her pitch black coat glistened in the light of the moon. At first she growled at me too, but as I began to run away she stopped and called me to her. She was hovering over a large sack of food and nudged it to me. Tentatively I walked towards it and she backed away and laid down several feet away. She commented on my looks with sorrow and when I told her what happened she started to cry. As I ate she walked up to me and started to clean my wounds. It stung but felt good to have someone care. After our meal she invited me to her den, she said it would be safe and was big enough for two. I was so happy I began to bounce around like a puppy, this made her laugh. We headed to her home and curled up to sleep.
It was like this for a long time, just us finding our food and sometimes fighting for it. She taught me how to survive and, once I was healed and strong again, I protected her. We fought for our home and our food, we had fun playing in the parks at night when we could cross the street. I was so happy that I had left that I forgot all about my owners and that life. But that was a mistake. Only a few short months later, they found us.
It was just another good day with her when they spotted us playing in the park. I saw them walk up and my heart sank. The fury from them was so strong I began to shake. She stood in my defense but it was useless. They took out a metal stick, there was a loud bang and she was dead in front of me. Then there was another loud bang, and I too, was no more.

Day 38, Hangman

Let me lose of this Hangman's noose
Let me see what I can be
Let me share in this world that has forgotten to care

I remember days of long ago
Ones filled with hope and sorrow
A chance at light while trapped in the dark
Surrounded by angels when the monsters come to bark

I want to see what this world will become
Those who fail and those that overcome
Trapped in a vicious cycle of succeed then fail
So full of life and then so pale

Let me lose of this Hangman's noose
Let me see what I can be
Let me share in this world that has forgotten to care

I need to stand up to them
Those that trample the weak on a whim
But more importantly those that stand back up
Ones that grow beyond a pup

I have to be there
As I face my own fear
Succeed in everything I have ever failed
And prove to all those who doubt, that I always cared

Let me lose of this Hangman's noose
Let me see what I can be
Let me share in this world that has forgotten to care

I must not die, not here, not now
To to there for them was my vow
There is too much to do before this Hangman takes me
Never will I give up, you will see

The seeds in my hands I must sow
Someone is always there, that is what they need to know
The pain and suffering will turn out in the end
But to their will you cannot bend

Let me lose of this Hangman's noose
Let me see what I can be
Let me share in this world that has forgotten to care

Let there be hope when no one sees
Let there be freedom with this cage
Let the light shine brightly into the darkness
Let the words spread and the world remember

Day 40, Radio

Its been days since we last heard from anyone, this world is so fragile now and communication is vital for our survival. We sit around the radio, just hoping for something so we can return to base. We are one of the last groups of surviving humans and our numbers continue to dwindle. This radio is our only source of information and direction and it nothing has come over it for almost a week. We have plenty of supplies since we found a massive warehouse on this expedition but we don't know if it is safe to return home. Some of us have become frantic with anticipation and had to be locked away for the safety of the group but the few of us who have remained sane are beginning to lose our patience too.
Once the disease began to take hold and started making people go rabid, radios have been our only true hope for survival. They let us know what is happening in the other settlements and within our own. But now we are stuck in this outpost with what seems like a dead radio. After the first couple days without communication, our tech started working on it but with limited supplies it has been a long, hard process that no one truly believes will even work. He said it would be done today but the sun is falling fast and nothing has yet been said on completion.
It was late at night when we were all called into the main chamber of the outpost. The tech was standing in the middle of the room, a small smudge on his cheek and a huge grin on his face. He was finally able to find the problem and fix it. We sat again in anticipation as he turned it on and tuned it to the signal of our home base. We heard the crackle and pop as we connect and the tired voice of the girl on the other end.
“Delta team reporting in. The mission has been successful, supplies have been found.” said the leader in a calm but happy voice.
“Thank you for reporting in, we were beginning to get worried back here at home,” came the cheery voice of the female on the other end.
“The radio has been out of commission all week but our wonderful technician is an utter genius,” laughed the leader patting the tech on the back.


(Been without internet for a week)

Day 42, Celebrating a Birthday

“Happy Birthday!” Has been said for so long its getting annoying, and yet again it is being said to me for like the fiftieth time today. I can't stand it, its the one time of year anyone even acknowledges that I exist, its beyond fake. The few friends I have, and of course my family, are the only people that actually mean it. Its been written all over my Facebook wall, I've even received some mail and notes in my locker which was a total shock. While this should be one of the best days of the year for me, I absolutely hate it. Its not the celebration of how many years of life I've survived, or the presents, and its definitely not the cake that I hate. What I hate is all the attention from people who don't really care.
Even though I hate this day so much, I absolutely love the celebration. My family has a tradition that they do with everyone in the family, even each other. We get two parties; one with the family which is less fun but its so personal every year it makes me want to cry sometimes, and then we get the party for our friends and the rest of the family which is the more fun party. The family party we get a home cooked meal of our choosing with a special desert that isn't allowed to be cake and ice cream. We then open our gifts from our parents and siblings, which usually the siblings' are either bought by our parents or are home made which I love even more. They are always very specific to us and can sometimes be embarrassing, which is why they are opened now with only the family. Its not very up beat but its so comforting to know how much my family loves me and how it always comes flowing out on my special day.
The party with our friends, on the other hand, changes from year to year. There are a few constants such as cake, ice cream, friends, fun, and presents but the rest of it is almost never the same. This year we're all going out to see a movie together that, surprisingly enough, comes out on my birthday and we've all been dying to see it. Then we go back to my place for pizza and presents. Afterward we're going to put ourselves into a sugar coma and try to play some party games, or some group video games like the Mario Bro's or something. Eventually we might fall asleep but that isn't really in the plans, sometimes we don't sleep at all. Thankfully my birthday fell on a Friday this year so all of this was possible day of. I got my family party yesterday, just so we could do this today. I love my birthday.