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Drakulya666

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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:36 pm

I told you my secret
Hoping that you would keep it secret
But I was wrong
You betrayed me
You told him everything I feel
And now every time I see him
I know he is just humoring me
I know he doesn't really like me
And if I want to ammend our friendship
I'll have to lie
Tell him she was misinformed
So what she told him
Was wrong
When in my heart I know it's not
Now I have a reason to hate her
I have a reason to agree
With everyone else that used to like her
She says she doesn't get why I hate her
When she is feeding me reason after reason
She cruelly told him my darkest secret
Like ripping my heart out slowly
She's betrayed me
How else am I supposed to feel

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:14 pm

Drakulya666

I told you my secret
Hoping that you would keep it secret
But I was wrong
You betrayed me
You told him everything I feel
And now every time I see him
I know he is just humoring me
I know he doesn't really like me
And if I want to ammend our friendship
I'll have to lie
Tell him she was misinformed
So what she told him
Was wrong
When in my heart I know it's not
Now I have a reason to hate her
I have a reason to agree
With everyone else that used to like her
She says she doesn't get why I hate her
When she is feeding me reason after reason
She cruelly told him my darkest secret
Like ripping my heart out slowly
She's betrayed me
How else am I supposed to feel

aww sorry to read this... but just one thing >< take out the secret at the end of the second line, i think it might help with the flow... excellent write and way to express yourself... and i really don't know what advice i could tell you for this situation =

iluvwritin

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Drakulya666

Liberal Werewolf

8,200 Points

300
100

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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:41 pm

Let's just say she is not my friend anymore and I don't care that she's moving to AZ I have the second secret there because it was a a secret and I wanted her to keep it that way.

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 3:30 pm

iluvwritin

Drakulya666

I told you my secret
Hoping that you would keep it secret
But I was wrong
You betrayed me
You told him everything I feel
And now every time I see him
I know he is just humoring me
I know he doesn't really like me
And if I want to ammend our friendship
I'll have to lie
Tell him she was misinformed
So what she told him
Was wrong
When in my heart I know it's not
Now I have a reason to hate her
I have a reason to agree
With everyone else that used to like her
She says she doesn't get why I hate her
When she is feeding me reason after reason
She cruelly told him my darkest secret
Like ripping my heart out slowly
She's betrayed me
How else am I supposed to feel

aww sorry to read this... but just one thing >< take out the secret at the end of the second line, i think it might help with the flow... excellent write and way to express yourself... and i really don't know what advice i could tell you for this situation =

3nodding the second secret does need to go... something about the last two lines don't work for me... i mean betrayal is the obvious topic, maybe its just a personal preference thing but i don't like when poetry comes out and states what its written about

Illiandra

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