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 Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:26 pm
Your name: PidgeonsGoMeowX3
Meta name: Poppy
Species: Banshee
Gender: Female
Item: Red Poppy Hair Pin
Stage: Teen
Markings: Red floral patterns on forearms, legs and feet. Smaller similar patterns on sides of her face and partially her cheeks.
Clothes:
Dress (Exactly like this, except with red instead of blue)
Fishnet Knee Highs and Heels (Just like this, but with red)
Poppy hair pins (Go crazy with these! Strewn them all over her hair!)
> I would love to see her with accessories that match her item. Poppy rings, key chains, earrings, necklaces...etc. You could even add them to the dress as a soft pattern or as pins themselves! Go crazy! <3
> Her hair is black. Here's her hair style!
Personality: (This is not concrete, so it's not in paragraph form)
Social, curious, peaceful, unsteady, nervous, skittish, careful, unsure of herself, "muted", reluctant.
Desired Artist: Petite Colette
Estimated Cost: 175k (Full custom) plus 50k for an uncommon race.
Does your Meta have a Malice/Mane?: Mane
Malice/Mane's Name: Wynne (Pronounced Winnie, like Winnie The Pooh)
Malice/Mane's Item: Mothering Soul
Malice/Mane's Description:
Malice/Mane's Personality: (This is not concrete, so it's not in paragraph form)
Overbearing, motherly, gentle, protective, strict, doting, stubborn, courageous, diligent, resilient.
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Your name: PidgeonsGoMeowX3
Meta name: Peony
Species: Banshee
Gender: Female
Item: Orange Poppy Hair Pin
Stage: Teen
Markings: Orange floral patterns on forearms, legs and feet. Smaller similar patterns on sides of her face and partially her cheeks.
Clothes:
Fishnet Knee Highs and Heels (Just like this, but with orange)
Poppy hair pins (Go crazy with these! Strewn them all over her hair!)
> I would love to see her with accessories that match her item. Poppy rings, key chains, earrings, necklaces...etc. You could even add them to the dress as a soft pattern or as pins themselves! Go crazy! <3
> Her hair is black. Here's her hair style! (Different than Poppy's)
Personality: (This is not concrete, so it's not in paragraph form)
Distant, irritable, defensive, violent, curious, disturbed, loud, reluctant, distrusting, persistent.
Desired Artist: Petite Colette
Estimated Cost: 175k (Full custom) plus 50k for an uncommon race.
Does your Meta have a Malice/Mane?: Mane
Malice/Mane's Name: Scarlet
Malice/Mane's Item: Spoiled Soul
Malice/Mane's Description:
 
Malice/Mane's Personality: (This is not concrete, so it's not in paragraph form)
Dramatic, spoiled rotten, forceful, devious, prideful, greedy, rude, headstrong, rebellious, fleeting.
Tentative total:
175k x 2 (Full custom twins) = 350k
Plus 50k x 2 for an uncommon race = 450k
(Note to self: Figure out if there are extra fees for Manes and Malices)
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:53 pm
Poppy  Name: Poppy
Nickname: Pop, Pay, Pop-Pay, Poppie
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Stage: Teen
Race: Banshee
Item: Red Poppy Hair Pin
Height: 5'6"
Eyes: White-gray (Nearly white)
Hair: Black
Skin: Pale ivory
Style: Clean white dresses with red accents, floral patterns, fishnet stockings, heels.
Commonly known facts: Poppy is the approachable twin. She likes to chat, but is often fearful of people. She has a mane, who she gets along with, named Wynne. She is not a very good Banshee, because she is quiet. She dislikes being patted on the head. If she has bruises or injuries, they are either from her sister, Peony or her sister's Malice, Scarlet.
Hidden facts: Poppy has a desire to become a parent and adores infants and toddlers. She has a resentment to her sister, but tries to keep her out of trouble. She likes to meditate. She considers her Mane, Wynne, her sister and the pair are very affectionate to one another.
Overall Personality
Poppy is the polite girl in the corner of the cafe with her heart wedged between her dreams and her current reality. You won't find her in a party crowd or any where near a concert scene. She's too shy and unsure of herself to participate, unless she has a friend by her side. She tries her best to smile and be social, but she spends most of her time by herself. Most people find her quiet, meek disposition very peculiar, because of her race. A silent, peaceful banshee, whoever heard of that, right?
Though she's almost always by herself, Poppy has a thirst for knowledge. She loves reading mystery novels and figuring out the answer to the final question on a T.V. game show. A quest for knowledge stirs excitement inside the otherwise stoic feelings that waver within Poppy's soul. Even if she has trouble expressing her love of knowledge, she hunts for it every day.
The Good
Social - Though she won't attend a party or flock to a rock concert, she would be more than happy to have coffee or go shopping with you and a few of your friends. Just as long as the group doesn't become a gathering...
Curious - Poppy loves a good mystery and is quickly enamored by any epic tale that you have to tell. If you've lost something in your house, Poppy would love to help you search for it. Maybe, she'll stay for popcorn and a horror movie, too!
Peaceful - Oddly, Poppy is the opposite of what a Banshee is. She doesn't like to yell or fight, and will allow herself to be beaten up because of it. She likes to remain in a relaxed, levelheaded frame of mind, and doesn't jump directly into any decision.
Caring - This girl has a heart of gold just waiting to help you out. She'll listen to your problems, give you advice, help you move and even help you change your tires. She likes the good feeling that you get when you know you've made someone's day a little brighter.
Unbiased - Poppy doesn't care who you are, what you are or where you came from, everyone is equal in her eyes. However, if you try to harm her, you'll be treated with suspicion.
The Bad
Reluctant - This girl takes a lot of egging on in order to get her to go along with something. She doesn't like to be forced into making a decision, and will clam up in an instant.
Nervous/Skittish - Like a rabbit, Poppy is always on the alert for anything that might try to attack her. Thus, she's often very nervous and fearful when out and about. If she doesn't like what she's feeling, she'll make a quick getaway. Depending on the situation, she may come back once she's certain the "danger" has passed, but usually, if she bolts, she isn't coming back any time soon.
Quiet/Distant - It isn't easy to get Poppy to talk unless she's actively answering questions. She'll phase out of normal conversations if she isn't being talked to for more than ten minutes, which is categorized by a blank expression and a lack of movement. To keep her from becoming too distant, it's best to keep her engaged in all discussions, if possible. Otherwise, it can be difficult to keep her glued to her surroundings.
Claustrophobic - Poppy loathes crowds and won't budge from her spot if she has to squeeze her way through one. Small spaces terrify her, especially elevators. She won't dare to go into these spaces alone, so the help and encouragement of others can ease her into them.
Shy/Unsure - When you first meet her, Poppy is always at the back of the pack, keeping up whenever she feels it's safe. She often asks you for permission for little things, such as if she can call you by a nickname or if you mind if she stands beside you, and will appear fearful of you until she knows you better.
Pastimes
Reading - Poppy always has her nose in some sort of literature. From cookbooks to historical texts, she's read them all.
Baking/Candy Making - Poppy has a sweet tooth that she loves to share with her passion for baking and candy making. Her favorite things to make are cupcakes and caramel lollipops.
Meditation - To try to keep her mind in a peaceful zone, Poppy meditates. She often has incense burning while she does it so she can smell of whatever smoke she used long after she's finished. She likes lavender, strawberry and vanilla sticks the best.
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:29 pm
Peony Name: Peony
Nickname: Pey, Yone (Yo-Nee), Sis
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Stage: Teen
Race: Banshee
Item: Orange Poppy Hair Pin
Height: 5'6"
Eyes: White-gray (Nearly white)
Hair: Black
Skin: Pale ivory
Style: Tattered white dresses with orange accents, ripped sweaters, floral patterns, fishnet stockings, heels
Commonly known facts: Peony is the violent twin.
Hidden facts:
Overall Personality
The Good
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The Bad
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Pastimes
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:10 pm
Wynne Name: Wynne (Pronounced: Winnie, like Winnie The Pooh)
Nickname: Win, Winnie, Wynn, Wynn Dixie, Dixie
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Stage: Teen
Race: Mane
Item: Mothering Soul
Height: 5'5"
Eyes: Pink-Purple
Hair: Dark plum
Skin: Pale peach
Style: Mature, proper, clean, covered, skirts, plain blouses, simple. Purple, lavender, violet.
Commonly known facts:
Hidden facts:
Overall Personality
The Good
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The Bad
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Pastimes
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:14 pm
Scarlet Name: Scarlet
Nickname: Star, Starlet, Scar, Charlotte
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Stage: Teen
Race: Malice
Item: Spoiled Soul
Height: 5'8"
Eyes: Golden brown
Hair: Glossy golden-red
Skin: Pale tan
Style: Sexy, extravagant, skimpy, over the top, fancy, expensive. Reds, oranges, yellows, hot pink.
Commonly known facts:
Hidden facts:
Overall Personality
The Good
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The Bad
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Pastimes
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:32 pm
Critique time!
All righty, I'mma go through this step-by-step and try to be as coherent as possible. C: We'll start with their appearances vs. race requirements for Banshees.
Banshees are typically WHITE ghosts. They have little to no color, and if there is color, its something bright like a highly saturated red or orange, or just about any other color... Poppy and Peony have black hair... Banshee's are one of the few ghost races where black just isn't a thing. So their hair, to stick with how Banshee's are supposed to look, should be white.
Now, if their clothes weren't so colorful I would say they could have red/orange hair, but since you've chosen clothes/markings that are colorful, their hair will have to be pale to offset that.
Some splashes of color are fine, both of them have... quite a bit of color. Poppy's markings would really be enough to satisfy any color quotas for her, but since her dress just has a red sash and I'm guessing the fishnets are the red on her lower half that should be fine.
Peony's clothes are far more colorful, going off of her gaia avatar you made. I would say that the shirt/top thing with the fishnets being orange would be fine as long as the rest of her is white/off white.
All right, now I'll break it down by character.
Poppy
She is by far the most developed one in the group, so I have a LOT more to work with here. Its really advised that you don't ask for a critique until you're mostly done or completely done with a quest so I can truly give you the best response, so Poppy's section will be best out of all of them.
Its said several times that Poppy is social, she likes to talk to people... but its also said even more that she's unsure of people, she's shy, she doesn't communicate very well... Those two things kind of contradict each other, and I had to go through the entire profile to find a good reason for it, rather than it being presented the instant its mentioned. It would be nice if it said something like "Poppy is very shy and unsure of people because of her sister, but deep down she enjoys being social and wants to get better at it" or something along those lines.
Other than that little thing the rest of her personality traits look pretty good, so far.
Her "reluctant" flaw makes me wonder, though. If its so hard to get her to do things, how does she manage to be social at all if people seem to make her nervous?
The "quiet/distant" one also makes me wonder. The way its worded it, it makes me think that she doesn't actually like talking to people, so she doesn't make an effort to contribute to conversations and just ends up zoning out. I think that perhaps "socially awkward" might be a better way to put it. She tries to talk to people, but if she feels that she's being ignored she tends to shut down... that sort of thing.
Overall she's a pretty well thought out character, she just needs a bit fine tuning. C:
Peony
So there's not really anything here to go by. All I really have is the few personality keywords from the form at the top, so I'm going to try to piece some things together to talk about. C:
First off its made pretty clear that Peony is violent... but not WHY.
Since there's pretty much nothing in her profile I can't answer that question, so there needs to be more in there.
Why is she violent? Its insinuated that she beats her sister, does she feel bad about it? Is there anything else to her aside from violence? How is she all of these loud, boisterous things but "reluctant" is still one of her personality key words? How does she feel about her Malice? What's their relationship?
I can't really give a good critique on her until some of those questions are answered. :c
Wynne
Like Peony, there's next to nothing here, so I'll do what I can.
All of the key words seem to go along with her soul, which is great but... since there's nothing there I don't really know who she is. Is she violently protective of Poppy? Is she a crying shoulder for her? How does she feel about Peony? Or Peony's Malice?
It says that Wynne is 16... Manes/Malices don't have to be that young, technically they can be hundreds of years old. (in reality they are all at least a thousand because of how long ago the war was) But having her be 16 and having so many motherly traits without any negatives in sight is pretty unrealistic. I'd adjust her age.
Scarlet
Like the others I can't give an accurate critique on her but...
I've seen her referred to as a Malice AND a Mane in this quest thread. I need to know which one she is.
It SOUNDS like she's a Malice due to her personality keywords. What made her become a Malice? Was she always evil? How does she feel about Peony? Or Poppy? Or Wynne? What does she want, in the end? Does she want her own body, or does she want to kill Peony and take hers?
I don't think I can approve either Wynne or Scarlet without further elaboration on them. I don't really know anything about them at all, and without that, I can't really hand out an approval.
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:17 pm
I've been so preoccupied by other stuff that I haven't had the chance to update this. -3- I should've waited.
I have all of the thoughts to respond to you right now, just not in order. >3>; I need to get some sleep.
Um. I'm thinking of dropping Wynne and Scarlet and keeping Poppy and Peony. Col has awesome WIPs of the twins and hasn't started Wynne or Scarlet, so I think if I drop them now before they have arts it would be okay. >3o If I edited Poppy's profile to critique, finished Peony's profile and dropped both manes, would an approval seem more likely?
(Again, I apologize If I sound tired. Long day. Seriously. Dog walking + college + insomnia = stupid Pidgeon ;3 wink
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:25 pm
Pidgeons Go Meow X3 I've been so preoccupied by other stuff that I haven't had the chance to update this. -3- I should've waited.
I have all of the thoughts to respond to you right now, just not in order. >3>; I need to get some sleep.
Um. I'm thinking of dropping Wynne and Scarlet and keeping Poppy and Peony. Col has awesome WIPs of the twins and hasn't started Wynne or Scarlet, so I think if I drop them now before they have arts it would be okay. >3o If I edited Poppy's profile to critique, finished Peony's profile and dropped both manes, would an approval seem more likely?
(Again, I apologize If I sound tired. Long day. Seriously. Dog walking + college + insomnia = stupid Pidgeon ;3 wink
Yes that'd be fine! The approval is really just for the Mane/Malice. As long as people aren't like, drastically changing what a race is supposed to look like or are making ridiculously over powered Metas, Metas are generally auto approved.
So if you'd like another crit when you have the rest you need and fix up the profiles, just lemme know. c:
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:33 pm
x I n s a n i c x Asu x Pidgeons Go Meow X3 I've been so preoccupied by other stuff that I haven't had the chance to update this. -3- I should've waited.
I have all of the thoughts to respond to you right now, just not in order. >3>; I need to get some sleep.
Um. I'm thinking of dropping Wynne and Scarlet and keeping Poppy and Peony. Col has awesome WIPs of the twins and hasn't started Wynne or Scarlet, so I think if I drop them now before they have arts it would be okay. >3o If I edited Poppy's profile to critique, finished Peony's profile and dropped both manes, would an approval seem more likely?
(Again, I apologize If I sound tired. Long day. Seriously. Dog walking + college + insomnia = stupid Pidgeon ;3 wink
Yes that'd be fine! The approval is really just for the Mane/Malice. As long as people aren't like, drastically changing what a race is supposed to look like or are making ridiculously over powered Metas, Metas are generally auto approved.
So if you'd like another crit when you have the rest you need and fix up the profiles, just lemme know. c:
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:03 pm
Pidgeons Go Meow X3 Awesome! =w= I'm very happy with what I have planned for Poppy and Peony, so dropping their manes isn't that big of a deal for me. I'll see if I can fix up the profiles this week when I have free time, otherwise, it's okay to move forward with the custom twins? I talked to Col and both girls will have white hair now, the WIPs have been adjusted, too. (I'mma PM you the current WIPs to be sure and stuff.) Other than their hair, they've stayed the same.
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