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 Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 11:46 am
Soooo Tua loves lists.
Specifically, I recently re-read the list of things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG, as well as The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army.
Annnd it inspired me to make a similar list for Warden's! The following are just the silly ones I could come up with off the top of my head - anyone else is welcome to chime in with entries for their characters, whether prisoner, guard, rider, or whatever!
1. Warden does not make idle threats. I will remember this in the future.
2. Even if Warden has pretty eyes, I will not tell him so.
3. I will not hit on my shrink.
4. Whers are not toys.
5. Guards are not allowed to touch prisoners. I cannot get around this rule by touching the guard first.
6. Playing the “I’m not touching you” game is also frowned on.
7. Discussing heritage of another prisoner and a wher should be avoided at all costs.
8. Come to think of it, I will not imply that my fellow prisoners (or guards, for that matter) have any nonhumans anywhere in their ancestry. It does not end well.
9. None of the food in the prison mess hall can be classified as a weapon. “Crippling to morale” does not count as weaponized.
10. At no point in time is it appropriate for my tongue to come into contact with any part of another prisoner’s anatomy. If they need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, that is what the trained professional healers are for.
11. I will not hit on my shrink.
12. My crimes were not committed by a future version of myself ‘timing it’ into the past to prevent a world-ending paradox. This is not a valid legal defense.
13. The bars of my cell are not a musical instrument, and if I attempt to use them as such I will get the straitjacket again.
14. My wrists are not thin enough to do the shackle trick. I will not try it anyway just to upset nearby guards.
15. Everyone gets their head shaved when they first arrived. Just because not everyone can rock the cue ball as well as I can, that’s no excuse to rub it in.
16. Just because I didn’t throw the first punch, doesn’t mean I didn’t start the fight.
17. Warden’s does not have a weyr anthem. It doesn’t need one.
18. Jokes about planning a mass prison break are not funny, and will be taken seriously.
19. Straitjackets are not toys. Or sexy.
20. I WILL NOT HIT ON MY SHRINK.
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:14 pm
Oliver would love to add on to your list... (And some words from the writer)
1. I must resist the urge to hold a drinking contest in the med bay.
2. I must resist all urges to start a round of any drinking song in my cell block.
3. Calling any guard on their drinking addiction is a bad idea.
4. I should not wear my prison jumpsuit as a sarong because it is too hot.
5. Going nude as a non violent protest of my sentencing is not acceptable.
6. I should stop referring myself as Oil Slick and screwing up my creator as she writes. Even though that is who inspired my character.
7. Hollin should also stop referring himself as Howlback, for similar reasons.
8. As much as the songs, The Waste and Sun Doesn't Rise really work for this shop, I'm not allowed to sing them. Pern does not have the genre metal.
9.I'm not allowed to invent electricity and the electric guitar to give myself the right to sing them.
10. I should not call fellow prisoners Crackheads. Even if it amuses me and is likely true.
11. I should not ask the head healer if the carpet matches the drapes.
12. Even though it is rather obvious he dyes his hair.
13.No matter how morbidly curious I am about the answer.
14. I should not challenge the actual Healers to 'Herb trivia'
15. I should also not challenge them to a 'Heal off"
16. I should not smuggle food out of the mess hall and then attempt to feed it to any of the guard animals to test if it is edible.
17. or poisoned.
18. Or to pests in an attempt to raise an army of vermin.
19. Why tree hoppers are tasty, I should not lure them in my cell, kill them, and then ask the guards to take them to the kitchen to ask them to please cook them for my meal.
20. I should not attempt to bribe Whers with tree hoppers.
21. I should not ask if the tunnel snake is edible and could it be dinner.
22. I should not name Tree Hoppers and other small vermin after any of the guards or Wardens and then wail that a Wher just ate so and so.
23. I should not ask to compare Redwort stains with the actual healing staff.
24. I should not talk to my younger sibling in code.
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