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 Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:57 am
My boyfriend is worried that he's going to seriously hurt me when we finally have sex. I told him it will only hurt if hes not gential (Im a virgin). He said hes scared because he think he'll be to large for me. This isn't him just being cocky, apparently he think he's felt the back of my uterus with just his fingers. I know that I'd be able to feel it if he did but I can't tell if its that or if it's just the pressure of having something in there. I don't think this is totally true because a tampon goes in without problems. But according to a little research Ive done, i do have the same symptoms that other girls do that this happens to during sex. How bably could he hurt me if we have sex? Help!
(Sorry for any terrible misspellings, my laptop doesn't have spell check)
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:59 am
The whole "your first time has to hurt and/or be bloody" thing is a myth.
A lot of people think your first time will hurt because you're tight. But in reality, your v****a doesn't change once you have sex. Even an ob-gyn won't be able to tell the difference between your "before" v****a and your "after" v****a unless you get pregnant or get an STD. That's because your v****a is kind of like spandex. It can stretch to accommodate a p***s, then snap back into place. The average v****a can stretch to accommodate an above average p***s. So size can be the cause of pain during sex but it's not usually.
The most common cause of pain is dryness. The second most common cause of pain is being nervous and tense. Dryness causes unpleasant friction (which can even lead to bleeding). Being nervous and tense can make your v****a clench shut. It can create unpleasant friction. It can make it harder for your v****a to produce its natural lubrication. And it can make it harder to your v****a to stretch and elongate.
It is physically impossible for him to be touching your uterus during manual sex. If he's hitting something that feels like a wall, it's probably your cervix. It's normal for him to feel that. In fact, inserting a finger and feeling your cervix is one way to keep track of your cycle since your cervix actually moves up and down at different points in your cycle, your cervical mucus changes at different points in your cycle, and how hard your cervix feels changes throughout your cycle too. Since your v****a elongates when you're in the mood, your cervix gets pulled up a bit and will be harder to touch. A p***s still may be able to hit it though. If it seems like he is hitting your cervix during sex and if you don't like that feeling, you can try getting in the mood more before sex, you can try avoiding sex at the point in your cycle when your cervix is the lowest, and/or you can try different positions (some positions make it easier or harder for the p***s to hit the cervix).
So sex doesn't have to hurt, even your very first time and even if you've never inserted anything into your v****a before. The most important thing is to make sure you're lubricated (buy a water-based lubricant from the store to make sure), relaxed, and in the mood beforehand. And don't forget protection.
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:09 am
LorienLlewellyn The whole "your first time has to hurt and/or be bloody" thing is a myth. A lot of people think your first time will hurt because you're tight. But in reality, your v****a doesn't change once you have sex. Even an ob-gyn won't be able to tell the difference between your "before" v****a and your "after" v****a unless you get pregnant or get an STD. That's because your v****a is kind of like spandex. It can stretch to accommodate a p***s, then snap back into place. The average v****a can stretch to accommodate an above average p***s. So size can be the cause of pain during sex but it's not usually. The most common cause of pain is dryness. The second most common cause of pain is being nervous and tense. Dryness causes unpleasant friction (which can even lead to bleeding). Being nervous and tense can make your v****a clench shut. It can create unpleasant friction. It can make it harder for your v****a to produce its natural lubrication. And it can make it harder to your v****a to stretch and elongate. It is physically impossible for him to be touching your uterus during manual sex. If he's hitting something that feels like a wall, it's probably your cervix. It's normal for him to feel that. In fact, inserting a finger and feeling your cervix is one way to keep track of your cycle since your cervix actually moves up and down at different points in your cycle, your cervical mucus changes at different points in your cycle, and how hard your cervix feels changes throughout your cycle too. Since your v****a elongates when you're in the mood, your cervix gets pulled up a bit and will be harder to touch. A p***s still may be able to hit it though. If it seems like he is hitting your cervix during sex and if you don't like that feeling, you can try getting in the mood more before sex, you can try avoiding sex at the point in your cycle when your cervix is the lowest, and/or you can try different positions (some positions make it easier or harder for the p***s to hit the cervix). So sex doesn't have to hurt, even your very first time and even if you've never inserted anything into your v****a before. The most important thing is to make sure you're lubricated (buy a water-based lubricant from the store to make sure), relaxed, and in the mood beforehand. And don't forget protection. So even if he is hitting my cervix, it's ok? It's not going to damage anything if he hits it during sex?
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:17 am
Staring Berry So even if he is hitting my cervix, it's ok? It's not going to damage anything if he hits it during sex? It might be uncomfortable. Maybe even bruise. But no, it's not going to cause any serious damage or anything.
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:22 am
LorienLlewellyn Staring Berry So even if he is hitting my cervix, it's ok? It's not going to damage anything if he hits it during sex? It might be uncomfortable. Maybe even bruise. But no, it's not going to cause any serious damage or anything. Ok, that's good to know. Thank you! biggrin
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