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I have a friend that I have known for a little over 3 years now. He and I had off and on flings online. I have yet to meet him in person. Recently, he hooked up with one of his exes. They had sex and they broke up. He told me she was the one that left him to sleep with other people. He told me that he also her from her friends as well as his co-workers of people she had been with before, during, and now after him. Needless to say he was upset and depressed. (True, this is a lot of 'he said, she said' hearsay type stuff and I have not personally witnessed anything)

Yesterday, she called him saying how she just found out she was pregnant and swears up and down he was the only one she had been having sex with. He doesn't really believe that, but of course is scared that she really is pregnant and that it could be his. He told me that he did use a condom, but he didn't say if she was on any form of birth control. I'm guessing not. We do both know that condoms are not 100% and even if she was on some kind of birth control as well, that still doesn't mean she had no chance of getting pregnant.

Understandbly, he is even more upset with her and himself. He is overly worried and is in a dark depressive mood. He keeps talking about he would rather kill himself that pay child support becuase he doesn't have much money. Sooner or later, his money would run out, then that girl and the courts would be on him, and he could go to jail. He keeps saying he would rather die than go through that. I have tried reasoning with him and to get him to think of possible solutions to all the 'what if' situations. EX: What if she really is pregnant? What if she is not? What if she gets an abortion, or miscarries, or decided to put the baby up for adoption? What if she goes through with it and tries for child support? I don't know what the laws on child support is in his state (we live in different states), but I suggested that as soon as she confirms with a doctor that she is in fact pregnant, that he go to the courts and demand not to pay anything until a dna test after the baby is born proves he is the father. At the same time, he should estblish with the courts how much he makes so they don't just take him for all he's worth. I know most states have a set amount and premiums that a person must pay reguardless of how much they actually make, so he might be screwed either way.

It just worries me that he is seriously talking abour killing himself. I do know where he lives and I have thought about taking atleast 3-4 days off of work to go see him and help him in person. I feel helpless on line and over the phone... It is a good 15 hour drive, so I would need atleast 3-4 days off of work. One day to travle there, one or two days to actually see him, then one day to travle back (at the very least). I'm not sure how much of a difference I could make in person, but I feel it would help atleast a little bit for him to have a person who cares about him to be there to help comfort him and help him clma down and think rationally.

He even mentioned moving in with me. I have told him before that my door is open to him if he needs it. I wouldn't mind him moving in with me. On the other hand, I would prefer that he find some way to take responsibility and/or resolve this so he is not just simply running away. I have tried to get him to understand that while simply moving somewhere else can be a good push towards something better, he would still need to solve him own problems. Running away and/or moving will not solve problems. Moving =/= Happiness. It could help and be a start, but the person would still need to resolve problems/conflicts and try to make happiness for themselves.

I don't know what to do. I know what happened between him and this girl is none of my personal business. I do care about him and worry about him though. I want to help him atleast calm down and give some honest thought to real possibilities. I just don't know how I could do that. Should I just back off and be there only when and if he asks for me? Should I make the attempt to visit him even if for one day? Should I just continue to do what I can online/over the phone? I'm scared he will do something stupid to himself....

EDIT:
Just wanted to add that I know I don't know the whole side of his story and I don't know anything about the girl's side. I have never met or talked to her. There maybe things or extra stuff I don't know about. I'm just worried about the way he is talking and seriously leaning towards killing himself.

UPDATE (3/9):
Well, that girl called him today and said she was not pregnant becuase she started her period. Maybe it was the hormones/feelings one gets right before a period that made her htink she was pregnant? In any case, he has cut off contact with her. He is no longer talking about killing himself, but is now tlaking about sterilzing himself somehow sweatdrop . Well, I'm glad she was not pregnant and that he has decided to stop dealing with her. He is still talking about moving out and stuff.

Well, he won't know if she is even pregnant until she calls back in a couple weeks after she gets it checked out. He won't even know if it is his or not until after the baby is born if she is pregnant and they do a dna test. As far as I know, they can't to paternity tests while the baby is still in the womb. That's 9 months of waiting. He told me she dosen't want an abortion, but will put the baby up for adoption if she is pregnant. Of course, she could always change her mind....

He has calmed down some in his talk of "I'd rather kill myself" and actually making plans for it, but still... I'm still worried. Most serious suicides don't tell anyone anything right before they do it and lead people on to think they are okay. Hence the whole "I had no idea he/she was going to do that!" stuff.

He is still seriously talking about moving in with me. I currently live in a pretty nice one-bedroom apartament. He knows that. I don't care if he takes the room or the couch, I could deal with either myself. Of course we plan on moving into a 2 bedroom place once he is more settled here and gets a job. That is IF he comes here to live with me. As I said before, even if he does move in with me, I would greatly prefer that he still work things out with this girl. Moving alone won't make problems go away.

I have still been working on getting him to sit down and seriously think some 'what if' situations and solutions over. Such as: what if she is pregnant and swears it's his, but says she will put it up for adoption (as he claims she said the situation would be)? What if she changes her mind and gets an abortion or keeps the baby? And all the other lovely what ifs. I know he doesn;t want to think about it and I wouldn;t really want to either if I was in his shoes, but it needs to be done so he can plan what to do and even get it in motion so she doesn't screw him over in the end.

Yeah, he thought the same thing. He thinks she made it up basically to see how he would react or maybe even as a crule joke. Seeing it from his pov (since I have heard his side of things more), I think he acted alright when he had to talk to her, but panicked badly when she wasn't around. When he talked to her on the phone or to her face, he was a lot clamer and handled converstations with her well. True, he had the right to panick, but to then let himself sink into a depressive mood and not actually do anything about it was bad.

I think from her pov, she might be thinking he has done nothing and doesn't care about her becuase of it. That is if this was a sick test on her part to see how he would react to her possibly being pregnant. From her pov, they did talk a little bit and during those talks he seemed distant and collected, but didn't actually do anything in between time. To her, it may seem like he was kicking back and letting whatever happens happen.

That's just me assuming and speculating since I don't know her personally and I don't know her side of the story anyways, lol.