[PRP] New Beginnings (Copper, Kasi, and Family)

[Baby Pandah]

He had lost her again. Again he found himself without her, and her alone without him somewhere in the world. Lost again. Copper had done this before. His feet got the better of him, and he was foolish enough to follow them, without a second thought. The urge to explore, the urge to find new things and places, had swept him off of his feet and into the wind, taking him wherever it pleased. And he hadn't argued. But in doing so he had lost her. And himself. Lost. Caught up in the thrill of adventure and bored by the duties of fatherhood. What was wrong with him?

It was raining now. He trudged miserably through the downpour, dragging his hooves through the mud. He had been traveling relentlessly and without direction for the past few years, aimlessly wandering about. He couldn't even remember where he'd been, it was like there was another Soquili in his body, commanding it to move forward. Have to keep moving. There's something out there. The weight of the world pressed down on his back, making it almost unbearable for him to move without missing Kasi. He had been having nightmares that she and his children were in danger for months. But still he had kept exploring. Finally he fell beneath his guilt and shame in the rain, and lay there arguing with himself on whether or not to give up. All versions of his former self drained away in the rain, until Copper had no idea who he even was anymore. He looked up into the angry and accusing sky. "What is wrong with me?" he asked it. Thunder cracked back at him with little pity in its voice, and no answer to his question.

But something inside him switched on. "I have to find her..." he said to himself, looking down at the ground with determination. Was she even alive? Did she even care about him anymore? Did it matter? No. He was going to find her and prove to her that he was deserving of her love. It was time to grow up. It was time to become what he was supposed to be, what he had thought he was, what she thought he was. Somehow he knew he was going in the wrong direction, and heaving his weak body upward from the drenched ground beneath him, he turned the opposite direction and pushed forward to find shelter, to find Kasi, to find his children, to find Copper.  

[wooga Paes]

Time had been different for Kasi. She had always been a patient, if somewhat peculiar mare. So when Copper left, at first, she hadn't thought much of it. Her daughter, Mem, had become upset far sooner than she had, as well as angry. And her father, even quicker. For perhaps as long as two months, Kasi just naturally assumed he'd be right back, and went along without worrying too much. Because she trusted him. Of course he'd be back, how could he not?

But a time came when thinking like that was, of course, ridiculous, even for a mare like Kasi. And then she was just sad. And bemused, because it didn't really make much sense to her. She had known of Copper's love for their foals (now far from such), and herself. Or at least she thought she had. She didn't cry, because that just wasn't how Kasi dealt with being upset. She got quiet.

It couldn't be said all these years were a string of constant suffering, because life did have to go on. Kasi could function and live without him. She could still talk to her family, enjoy time with them, play around a bit. But she was still alone most of the time, time that should have been occupied by Copper. And of course, all that time had been awful for Kasi. Most of her time was spent as if her body had simply memorized everything it was supposed to do to stay alive, and she just let that happen and watched the scenery. She thought about him often, constantly, and she missed him, and she theorized and wondered, and every now and then had still hoped, but it seemed time for hoping was over.

She had always liked the rain. Even though it made her mane somewhat uncomfortable and heavy, as a whole the chill just contributed to her energy. And the sound of the water just pouring down from the skies was therapeutic. She was wandering, as she wont to nowadays with less to attach her to a specific place, what with her foals having grown and become independent.

Kasi saw him then, just an improbable happenstance. She didn't recognize him. It wasn't that she didn't have everything about him memorized (the curve of his neck, his shoulders, the feathers he wore, his smile, frown), but she had become so used to seeing him only in dreams, she immediately assumed this was no different. He probably couldn't see or hear her from where she stood, off to his side, slightly higher ground, pouring rain, several yards and trees between them. It was perhaps a miracle she had spotted him at all.

She smiled. Because in her dreams he had never left, and they could be mundane and she could sometimes enjoy just looking at him.  

[Baby Pandah]

He caught a flash of palomino and stripes off in the distance to his right side. But it couldn't possibly be her. He squinted through the raindrops, trying to see if this was just some cruel mirage, or even crueler reality. He wasn't ready to see her yet. He didn't deserve to see her at all. He had no explanation for himself, or his actions. He squinted as hard as he could but knew in his heart that it was her. His legs stayed bolted to the muddy earth, though. He stood rigidly against the wind, trying to will himself to move forward.

Be a man, face your wrongdoings. Even after saying this to himself and making up his mind that he would approach her, he had to take several deep breaths before walking forward five feet and then stopping again. His guilt tugged at him again, and he wanted to lay down and give up again. She deserves better than that. He thought to himself, and then realized that her finding him rotting in a puddle of shame would be far worse than him approaching her with an apology. He snorted and stamped a foot in determination. He decided to circle around and approach her from behind, as a sort of surprise, and to give himself more time to think of what on earth he would say to her. Even if she did not forgive him and shooed him away, he would at least be satisfied in knowing that he had apologized to her.

He kept her blurry image in sight. He knew it was her. It had to be her. No one else would stand out in the rain like that. He smiled for the first time in a very long time, giggling lightly at Kasi's habits. She hadn't changed very much. At least from far away it seemed that way. How lucky it had been that she was so close...or maybe unlucky. Never mind luck, he had to reach her before she disappeared and before he lost her again.  

[Baby Pandah II]

wooga Paes

*Poke?* :3

 

[Baby Pandah]

They were beautiful. The carefully woven baskets that held his sleeping children had him in tears of happiness. His first set of children had been exciting, and were no less special than these baskets, but they had been more thoroughly planned. These baskets were a surprise. In all honesty, he didn't think he'd had the capability of fathering more children. These foals meant so much to him, to his relationship with Kasi. They had been on slightly thin ice when he had found her again on that fateful rainy day. Kasi was so understanding that Copper almost wished she would have pushed him away. But they had come to an agreement that he was allowed to explore, as long as he always returned. This had been the understanding before, but Copper had not considered it then. But now, exploring and wandering was not a desire in his heart as much as it had once been. He knew his body was not as inclined towards travel as it had once been.

His purpose was no longer to see the world, but to show his children the world. Perhaps the first time he had been too young for children, and he hoped that Bly and Mem would forgive him for that. There was so much that he wanted to show his fully grown offspring, so much that he was sure they needed to know from him. But they were old enough now that they surely did not want his help. This was a constant guilt upon him, one he was sure he could never lift, but one that he deserved. All he could do now was teach the new generation of children what he could.

It was time to settle down, and he was sure Kasi saw that. He was sure that was why she had been so understanding. He sometimes wondered if she had some hesitation towards him still, even after renewing their relationship, even with the coming of the new foals. He would show her that he could truly be a father, he would show his children that no matter what, he would always be there for them. This time, he would be the best he could be for his family.

***

Bly was on his way to meet Kasi and Copper, to meet his new siblings. He wasn't sure what he thought of having new brothers and/or sisters, but that was mostly because he wasn't sure what he thought of anything. The thought of having foals to play with was what was the most exciting to him. Whether they were family or not didn't matter so much, as long as they liked playing hide-and-seek and chasing butterflies with him. Part of him deep down held a little jealousy towards them, and a little stubbornness towards his father. But those thoughts never seemed to surface for Bly, and if they did a butterfly distracted him before he could focus on them. All that was in his mind was that he was supposed to be there, that there was a family reunion coming up.

He slowed in his trotting when he caught sight of his father in the distance. He was looking at something, but Bly couldn't make it out. He was only disappointed that he didn't see any foals running around. He thought the whole purpose of this was to see the new foals? Perhaps they were with mom. He sped up, eager to see his mother again.

wooga Paes

Reply whenever you get time. :3 No rush.