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 Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 5:55 pm
...Another emotional pouring from anna.. Just a warning.. Teenage woes. :l
Last night, at my best friend's birthday slumber party.. I broke up with my boyfriend. I know it was the right thing to do.. He's been being a complete a*****e for at least half the time since we got back together.. and I'd just put up with it, not really noticing.. But, the past week alone.. Since last Friday, he'd made me cry three times.. In one week. He played it off as he was joking; I shouldn't take it seriously. I took it seriously. It was via texts. How am I supposed to know you're joking? I'd just had enough.. I cant take it anymore. So, I broke up with him. Making this a clean break, dropping contact with him. And that alone is the hardest thing I've done so far. He was and is my first love.. That's not going to change. Letting him go is hard, and I know it's just going to get worse. But, the distance sucked.. And, the army has changed him. I don't like what he is now.. He said to give him a week, and he could be back to the old him.. but, what's to say he won't just change right back? I feel terrible, because I know that I hurt him with this.. A lot.. I'm scared to think how he might be taking this.. All of my closest friends have told me that I'm making the right decision.. but, I don't know if I am anymore. A whole year and a half of my life has been focused around him.. more than that... now, that's gone. He was my best friend.. and now, I've lost that.. I just.. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't help but feel like I've made a huge mistake, one I can't take back... I just feel so lost..
Actually.. I think the hardest thing has yet to come.. Either tomorrow, or next weekend is going to be the worst.. Going over to his grandparents house to drop off his jacket.. I don't want it anymore; it's his. But, explaining to them... Is going to suck. I might just cry... I hope I don't. Not in front of them. But, I've lost them too. And, in a weird sense, I loved them, too.. He lived with them, so I got to see them a lot.. Now they're gone from my life, too..
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 6:46 pm
Trust me Anna, if he made you cry three times in one week, he's not worth your love and devotion.
While he is/was your first love, this experience will help you build a healthy and loving relationship in the future.
Plus, you now get to join the a*****e ex club. There's about 6 billion members and counting. biggrin
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 7:00 pm
..thank you, Cherry. Honestly, you have no idea how much that post helped. It's like, I'd realized these things, but hearing them, er.. reading them.. made it click so much more.. And made me realize that I will get through this, soon enough. (:
And, that is true.. Never really thought of it.. Then again, I'd never really thought much about relationships, before this one.. Although, I do know it will be quite awhile before I embark on another one. ^^;
Ahah, touche. Not sure that it's quite that high, though... There's gotta be more than 1 billion kids... oxo;
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 7:10 pm
Anna, you don't need someone who only serves to make you miserable in your life; and you certainly don't need to try to make him happy.
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 7:10 pm
I was counting the number of members since the beginning of social dating and marriage. sweatdrop
I honestly didn't think that I would ever get over my first boyfriend. But then I just kept thinking about how badly he treated me while we were together and one day, I woke up and realized I didn't love him.
It's hard, don't get me wrong, but it will improve your relationships.
My last ex started to get controlling like the first ex and that was one of the warning signs I took to leave.
And now look at me, two years after I started dating the first ex, one year after I started dating the second, and I'm finally ready to jump back into the relationship game.
Doozi is also really helpful at giving advice. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 7:27 pm
Kitty -- Thank you for that.
..I feel bad not having anything to say other than thank you, since it doesn't really convey much feeling... But, seriously. It makes me feel a little bit better any time someone has posted something like that.. Like it lifts a bit of the weight of guilt off my shoulders..
Cherry -- Pahah, ohhh.. I thought you were making a reference out of the current guesstimate of the population. emotion_facepalm
..in that case, I'm glad that this is happening now.. will give me a lot more time to be prepared for whatever relationships may come in the future.. Goodness knows he's given me enough variance to look out for..
Ahh, if I ever feel serious enough to need it, I'll be sure to drop her a message somewhere. :'D
//edits
Also, thank you Anon for the gift. I shall leave it sealed, though, until I have a use for it. emotion_bigheart
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 9:05 pm
There are three universal rules of love in reality:
1. Your first love isn't you last.
2. Don't expect a Highschool relationship to end in marriage.
3. There isn't a deadline to settle down.
I'm a solo player for life, but I can still offer reasonable advice. Remember what I listed above, and don't dwell on the past or you'll never enjoy the present or future. You made the right call on breaking up with this person.
...... You're a better person than my sister with that jacket. She would have spitefully kept it, hahahaha.
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 9:16 pm
Definitely better than me. I would have burned it. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:31 pm
Toon -- Ahh, I know them. n.n
And, agree with them. And most certainly was not expecting the second rule, but that doesn't mean that I wanted the relationship to end. oxo;
But, thank you for the advice. And, I'm already letting most of it go. Just talking about it has done wonders. Another plus is that this will give me more time to devote to things that used to make me happy, like Gaia and Crysandrea.. And, the things that need time, but got procrastinated. Like, my grades. >>;
Ahah, I thought about keeping the jacket, but.. Well, I might, it is a damn good jacket, but still. Don't want that reminder every day.. Already planning on getting a shoebox or something to stash away random mementos that have accumulated, just for keepsake who knows how many years down the road. Some of them might make interesting stories..
Cherry -- ...the inner jew in me would not allow the burning of it. >>;
Plus, I'm not that spiteful about it right now. Not sure that I ever will be, either. It's easier, and better, to just let this go..
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 11:22 pm
I send you hugs Anna! Take it from me, the military can severely change a person, not always for the better. I'm still undoing the damage the military did to my hubby.
I agree completely with what has been said here, and I will add to it in my own dorky way. You are an amazing, gorgeous , strong, smart young woman. You deserve to be able to give your heart (NOT LITERALLY) to someone that will cherish it, protect it and love it. You did not end a relationship with a man, that was a little boy in big boy pants. He was unable to handle how amazing you are.
I have to give you major kudos because of the fact that you actively tried to work it out, he was just too much of an a** to work with you. On a side note, I'm totally agreeing with Cherry, I'd burn the jacket. But maybe you could just write a letter to him about what he did to you and burn that. Basically a little ceremony to start a new journey in your life.
Also good God(s) this is the most I've written on gaia in AGES. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:25 am
Papple -- Thank you!
And, I hope that works soon. n.n
And, again.. thank you. So much.
Butbut.. I can't LITERALLY do that? Awh. So much for getting hopes up.
//shot. xD
..the letter thing sounds like a great idea, honestly. I'm not gonna burn the jacket, though.. Probably just drop it off next weekend. Be rid of it. Or, shove it in a box, if I don't feel like returning it. Either way, get it out of my mind every day.
Yay, I feel special now. 4laugh
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:06 pm
I'm just going to put a vote on the side of "just give the jacket back to his grandparents". Burning it would just be spiteful and put you into the "psycho ex" category. Sometimes the moral highground is all you have, you shouldn't make a habit of charging off of it. You've already shown that you're the sort of person who takes control of their own life. It wouldn't make sense for that same person to have a hissy fit.
Alternately, you could mail it. It's a little cowardly because it gets you out of an awkward conversation, but on the other hand it gets you out of an awkward conversation.
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:12 am
Cherry_slushy Trust me Anna, if he made you cry three times in one week, he's not worth your love and devotion. While he is/was your first love, this experience will help you build a healthy and loving relationship in the future. Plus, you now get to join the a*****e ex club. There's about 6 billion members and counting. biggrin I don't think I can add anything to make this more comprehensive. I don't know if a "congrats" is in motion. When it is, feel free to tell us.
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