I'm broken now... You can Read this to know what i mean : [9/29/2012 11:20:52 PM] Danie Williams: Okay look, You can't go off bitching to greg or anything. He isn't at fault. I we both know your a jealous guy, that's why we kept it from you. But you see.. I have a crush on Greg. I respect he has a girlfriend though. I don't even want him as a boyfriend. I want him as a friend. We have been palying LoL together, and skpying. The reason why i wake up every morning is to meet him after work. And to stay up and talk to him in the morning. IT wasn't because he wanted it. It was because i wanted to.
[9/29/2012 11:21:07 PM] Danie Williams: He thinks he should tell you this, but im most likely beating him to it.
[9/29/2012 11:21:14 PM] Danie Williams: I know you like me Daniel, I really really do
[9/29/2012 11:21:27 PM] Danie Williams: But From how ******** up i am.. And how much i want to just hurt myself almsot every day
[9/29/2012 11:21:32 PM] Danie Williams: I can't date someone.
[9/29/2012 11:21:55 PM] Danie Williams: The entire time you were talking about seeing me.. I wanted to go to LAdysmith and meet Greg mostly.. That's harsh of me.. But it's true.
[9/29/2012 11:22:07 PM] Danie Williams: I was even tempted to cosplay his favorite LoL characters for him.
[9/29/2012 11:22:17 PM] Danie Williams: But I'm not going to. Because i know he has a girlfriend.
[9/29/2012 11:22:32 PM] Danie Williams: And I know you're probably shocked and a little upset becuase of this. That's why im telling you now
[9/29/2012 11:22:38 PM] Danie Williams: I needed to get it off my chest.
[9/29/2012 11:25:15 PM] Daniel Grubert: I already knew this
[9/29/2012 11:25:18 PM] Daniel Grubert: and no, he didn't tell me
[9/29/2012 11:26:04 PM] Danie Williams: You knew it?
[9/29/2012 11:26:20 PM] Daniel Grubert: It was so obvious lol
[9/29/2012 11:26:45 PM] Danie Williams: Lol
[9/29/2012 11:27:00 PM] Danie Williams: ( neutral
[9/29/2012 11:27:34 PM] Daniel Grubert: Also, you're wrong about something
[9/29/2012 11:27:36 PM] Daniel Grubert: I don't like you
[9/29/2012 11:28:48 PM] Danie Williams: Then you're a misleading guy as well >_>
[9/29/2012 11:29:02 PM] Daniel Grubert: nope.jpg
[9/29/2012 11:29:28 PM] Danie Williams: ******** whatever then .___.
[9/29/2012 11:29:29 PM] Daniel Grubert: I believe I have made it very clear that since you shut me down, I have made no attempts to be with you romantically
[9/29/2012 11:31:15 PM] Danie Williams: ._____. okay then
AND
[9/29/2012 11:07:11 PM] Katagara: I am flattered you like me, that you would cosplay for me do all these things for me. And though me and kait live far away and we dont have any sexual intimacy.. My heart belongs to her. She was there for me when no one else was, she saved me from a knife going into my heart. because i had given up hope and did not want to do anything anymore not even breathe. i started to push the knife in and she called me immidiately and told me her love. I am devoted to her.. i know sometimes i flirt and such. Its because my hormones are crazy from lack of intimacy. You are an awesome girl and hilarious and super fun to talk too. and to game with, but as for likeing me.. i am sorry. i cannot like you back, my heart and love belongs to kaitlyn and always will...
[9/29/2012 11:08:28 PM] Katagara: And although i may have slipped in my past being with somone. I do not wish to do it with her..
[9/29/2012 11:08:45 PM] Danie Williams: Greg. I already knew this
[9/29/2012 11:08:49 PM] Danie Williams: That's what i was trying to sya
[9/29/2012 11:08:51 PM] Katagara: Which is another reason why i have no been accepting the pictures you send me, because i try to avoid these thigns
[9/29/2012 11:08:52 PM] Danie Williams: say*
[9/29/2012 11:08:53 PM] Katagara: and i know that
[9/29/2012 11:08:55 PM] Katagara: i just needed to say it
[9/29/2012 11:09:07 PM] Katagara: Had nothing to do with whether you knew it or not
[9/29/2012 11:09:12 PM] Katagara: it was something i needed to say
[9/29/2012 11:13:38 PM] Danie Williams: Look, I'm different from people, Not like oh she's different. I mean i get preminitions, I see things before it happens, as it happening, or AFTER it happens. I Already knew this. And as much it hurts to know it really. But I knew it already. I understand it fully. I know how that is.. I saved the guy im still in love with, Even if he is no longer living now. I know how all of that feels. And I respect that you're loyal. Most men aren't now a days. That's why I like you. You're an amazing guy, You are funny, and a d**k at times.. But funny and a great guy. You have a pure soul, even if you don't believe it. I don't just have preminitions, I can see the light in peoples souls, I can even see things that people aren't normally suppose to see (Angels demons, Ghost.. Such things..).. I wont lie though. When i have these preminitions these past few days. Only you have been showing up. And that's never happened.. And it pissed me off extremely badly because i DON'T want you. I want you as a Friend. I might have a crush on you. But I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be Kait's. I might not have ever met her, nor you in person. But I know both of you have good souls, and are meant to be together. I have no place to take that away from either or you. Specially since I know how it feels to be the other girl. It's not fun at all.
[9/29/2012 11:14:52 PM] Danie Williams: And my pictures aren't dirty by the way. If they look it i don't mean it. It's jsut pictures of me in the outfits i wear that day. I don't mean for it seem like im trying to show you n***s. I regret ever doing that before. so I wont ever do it. Even if Daniel and others ask. I wont do it.
[9/29/2012 11:17:55 PM] Katagara: It had nothing to do if they looked 'dirty' or not
[9/29/2012 11:18:08 PM] Katagara: i do not like having pictures of other girls when i am with someone
[9/29/2012 11:18:12 PM] Katagara: just like i would not like it if kait did
[9/29/2012 11:18:16 PM] Katagara: ide hate it
[9/29/2012 11:18:21 PM] Danie Williams: I understand that as well.
[9/29/2012 11:18:57 PM] Danie Williams: But Greg. I have to Tell Daniel. Because if i keep keeping this from him. I'm going to do something i really regret. I have to tell him I like you. And a lot of this.
[9/29/2012 11:19:22 PM] Katagara: Well
[9/29/2012 11:19:26 PM] Katagara: I may as well tell him then
[9/29/2012 11:19:29 PM] Katagara: Since he is my best friend,
[9/29/2012 11:19:41 PM] Katagara: And i dont think it will hurt him as much
[9/29/2012 11:25:26 PM] Katagara: Kk
[9/29/2012 11:25:27 PM] Katagara: Told him
[9/29/2012 11:25:32 PM] Danie Williams: XD same actually.
[9/29/2012 11:25:34 PM] Katagara: I figured lol
[9/29/2012 11:25:48 PM] Danie Williams: lol yeah
[9/29/2012 11:25:56 PM] Danie Williams: i was already telling him when i told you i was going to
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I need some Guidance ladies. I really need help.. Not just for boys.. But for my suicidal acts I've been having.
Do you all remember sir Daniel? The one with the heart problem.. Well, He's been having more health issues.. And that makes me really worried.. But this isn't about him fully. There's this guy named Greg, He's 19, he's 6'6, and he's quite awesome.. I'm starting to fall for him.. The issue is.. He has a girlfriend.. I doubt any of you will actually believe this, But people call me "Special" Not because I'm in need of help.. But my "Power", I can tell when something happens before it happens, As it's happening, or AFTER it's happening. I some times black out and get these images, of people i don't know, or of people i do know. It's really random though. To be honest, I saw 9/11 happen before it even happened. But I was really young, So i couldn't do anything about it... Ah.. Getting off the point..
Anyways, The point of this is this : " okay you know how i can see things before it happens, as its happening, or after it happens? And how i can see angels and such and things others can't see? Well, I'm having this dream of me getting into a coma, or me getting hit by a truck.. And there's noone around. But one person.. That one person is greg.. He's that only one who gets me out of the coma, or brings me back to life..My friend joelle, Who can see the souls of people and can feel who is the right person for someone, thinks he's the one, the one i want and need, the perfect "Soul mate" you could say. It's stressing me out because He's taken, How could he be the one when he has one? I keep having this dream over.. Like it's MEANT to be, it's suppose to happen. I even blacked out yesterday after i relaced from having that tempted cutting nesss thing. I only black out when something is going to happen or suppose to happen. and I blacked out and he showed up, normally it never shows just one person. But it only showed him and me.. It's stressing the ******** out of me"
I said this to my friend earlier. Her reply was : "danie i think you only have a mere crush oon him most dreams or just dreams reflecting on what you want to happen you want greg, but can have him, you want him to be the one but he probably isnt
[3:51:44 PM] brittany mccusker: are*"
I had said this to what she said : "These dreams aren't really dreams though brittany. There realialty. I don't expect you to understand. But i know this. I'm in love with Sir Daniel. Even though he would never like me like i like him."
She said : "are you sure its love not just a lil lusty crush look danie, just because someone complements you and is super nice and stuff doesnt mean they want you its the hard truth"
The truth is. I like them both a lot. I don't like people just because i get compliments and stuff like that. I like them for their personality, And there looks (Mostly personality). But I'm having issues.. Yesterday I almost started cutting myself with these scissors my teacher gave me for my homework..
"I had a friend named MExy, He said he loves me today. I told him i don't love him and i was rejecting him. Then i told him i like two guys. Greg and Daniel (Sir Daniel from France) and he said im selfish. This was before school. I tried to ignore it all today but it just hit me. Greg is quiet, He's talking to Kait.. And i got extremely jealous and wished he'd talk to me instead. It made me realize that Mexy was right. I am Selfish. neither of them can give me anything.. And the worst thing is i was horny all day, and i was thinking of Greg doing things for me. I REALLY want to go to Canada just to see HIM not Daniel.. Greg.. I even masturbated and was thinking of him. But Greg is taken.. I can't handle knowing I'm like this.. I feel so selfish that i want them both.. but can't have either.. I feel like I'm only liking people because i lost Hayden. I was never truly happy after Hayden died.. I keep seeing couples and i get jealous. I'm jealous of you for having such love for Adrian even if i hate him. I'm hurting.. so so badly.. ******** im crying
[9/28/2012 7:27:53 PM] Danie Williams: Right now i don't know how to feel or how to act or even think
[9/28/2012 7:28:37 PM] Danie Williams: Only thing going through my head "IF i cut myself. Will it hurt? Will it show me something better? Or maybe will it bleed out rainbows.. Take away my sorrows... "
This is what happened yesterday. I was crying my eyes out and everyone i tried to talk to they kept just... making me feel worst. Even my friend Brittany. She made me feel even more horrible then I was already. I feel like hurting myself becuase every time I try to find help I get shot down, I get told I'm complaining, I can't handle things.. I keep listening to love songs, Like Adele's song "Someone like you" I haven't truly been happy since the man I loved, And thought was my soul mate, Hayden was shot and killed before valentines day this year. I feel so horrible with everything I'm doing.. I'm sending n***s to people, I'm sexting.. I'm against sex and all that jazz, yet im doing them.. I want to just kill myself to make everything go away. I know it will hurt a lot of people.. But It'll take me out of my pain. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.. I'm so lost and broken.. It hurts a lot.. And As much as I'm getting jealous of Greg's girlfriend. Or of my friend Anjel, the girl Sir Daniel likes... It just makes things all more realist. Makes me actually think I am being selfish, Like a slut.. or a whore.. I really hate everything is going on..
So please... Can anyone help me?
