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 Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:05 am
Long story short. I freaking hate how this guild runs in some ways, and think it could use some new ideas for how it does run.
Even asking a gaia moderator, they agreed that a person should not recieve warning for a rule that was implemented after the fact.
IE.. rule is placed so you cant type BUMP in chatterbox. If you typed bump before this rule, you are exempt from warnings unless you continue to do so.
I'm not going into detail, but im severely pissy over the incident here.
next post is rl stuff..
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:15 am
Now, as I said in the last one, this is about an rl issue i had a day ago.
Recently, I came out to my father about being transgender and how I plan on having a sex change to fix these problems. He was such a wonderful, accepting father when I told him and I praised him to everyone on a journal elsewhere. They were all deeply impressed with his attitude and wished their parents were the same.
It turned out to be one of those too good to be true moments though,for two days later, I get a call from my dad again, and this time he sets out to belittle me, and enrage me. He tells me how displeased with my decision he is. Tells me how he sees a bit of himself in me, in that I jump onto an idea or something and without thinking it through, I act on my desire and achieve it.
He has the nerve to try and tell me that, and I quote, "Some one needs to open your eyes, because you don't understand what you are getting yourself into".
This was in relation to me not knowing what type of discrimination I would be facing. On top of work discriminating, I know that there are a lot of people out there, just looking to use my gender changing as an excuse to beat, murder, rape, and jsut plain torture me. This is why I have to learn to take a friend with me, as any sane female would, into clubs, bars, etc.. and to avoid dark alleyways, so I don't end up dead in a ditch.
Well, I am sorry dad, you intolerable assjack, but I understand the scary side of things, because I am no longer your little child. I remember clearly the trans woman who was beaten in a mcdonalds less than 4 years ago. She was kicked, punched, slapped, dragged by her hair, clawed, bitten, kicked in the head, had her earrings ripped from her ears, and eventually sent into a fit of grand mal seizures from her head connecting with a trash can. All of this was on film, and can be found on you tube.
I am sorry for not having my eyes open to the horrors that the internet sure can not give me a glimpse of. Oh no, I am a naive little kid still, daddy! -.- I think my father is the one who needs a damn eye opener.
To the other trans girls in this guild, I can not tell you how hard it is to tell your parents, but I can say one thing... Never back down to them. Never let them talk you out of what you feel is right for yourself. Do NOT sacrifice your emotions and the such for your parents. They are not worth your unhappiness.
If I have to live in this body for another 10 years off of hormones, then I will attempt to OD on pills or something. I refuse this body and life I was born with, and I will change. Whether my father and society like it or not. ><
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