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miss Jamie's slightly tipsy philosophical rant. >.>

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Foxi Doll

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:16 pm


The hurt of hurts and a feeling of loss. Did you know, that you deserved the pain that you feel? That you are reaping what you sow? So many cries of agony, but never once a cry to justify the crimes you caused. A heart doesn't break even, this is true, and nor is it the only wound that is sustained. No one ever hurts alone, even when they feel they do. Because when your in love, two hearts often become one. So if it breaks it is your fault. For having not cherished it enough and treated it like the blessed gift it was. You squandered it, taking for granted that it would always be there.

It never occurred to you that you may be the one to be the demise of your own happiness. That in one moment of weakness, when you thought you could do better elsewhere, you took what was not yours, conceded creature that you are. And even when your house of cards started to tilt under the winds of inevitability, you still tried to lie to yourself. Saying it'll be ok. No one would willingly let you go. Look how wrong you were.

And with that one moment you fell, seeing in his face that you had made a miscalculation. that somewhere along the way, you had not factored in one key ingredient. It never occurred to you that he might take this stronger than you hoped to downplay. That your mistakes could possibly hurt him more than they had hurt you. Isn't the pain that twists his face and the tracks of tears not evidence enough? That wails issue from a mouth more prone to secretive smiles should have thrown you too. His voice, lowered in anger must have been surprising too. Had you not realized that he might not reacy ythe way you had hoped. That he might want to turn away from your touch and flee from the pain that engulfed him so? Of course not. Because you have a mind only bent towards your own motives and your own desires.

claiming you love someone means that you do your damnedest not to hurt them. To love someone is to put their needs above your own. So does that just prove that you love your own pitiful hide more than his? That your own well being and warped sense of right and wrong mean more to you than the one person who would give you everything?

What could have been running trough your mind, I wonder. what sort of logic could have made sense to bring you to this moment? Have you no forethought for your actions? Do you not take any consideration to the implications? By this one moment in time, I can accurately judge not. Which is sad, really.

So young and full of life. Thinking that just because you are a legal adult that suddenly you now have all the answers. In some sadistic way, I'm glad that this has happened to you. Because maybe now you will see the error of your mindset. That you aren't as wise as you thought and you can't just do whatever you fancy without consequence. Maqybe now you can grow up a little.

And maybe it will serve you, to have taken some of your own medicine. Doesn't taste good, does it? knowing that if you press someone past their limits or cross a line they lay down , you may end up on the side of a losing battle. Because in the end, at the very bottom of it all, you will know that you were wrong. And he totally called you on it. And he knew that he didn't have to deal with it if he didn't want to. That he could find better. And you never thought anyone could do that to you.

So in some cases, the lesson to be learned is easy, sometimes you have to study. And then there are times when the lesson is only learned through pain. Times when the only way for your brain to comprehend the situation is to strip it of all comforts so that all that remains is the bare truth of what you have done. And when you see the part of yourself, is it more frightening to see what you are capable? or is it coolly enlightening, to know that you are what you are and that you are capable of such thoughtless cruelty?

isn't it odd, that we are built in such a way? Through adolescence, we strive to be like other adults, wanting to have all that they have. Yet we stumble time and again. It quickly becomes apparent that the only way to reach that final pinnacle is to survive all the trials that brought them that understanding. Because some things don't come without a price. And some knowledge can't be passed, but must be learned from the experiences in each individuals life.

But even as we know that there is a lesson to be learned, both of your self and in the broader sense of proper conduct, i know that the pain is still too fresh for you to see it. Give it time. Lean on someone that you trust, so that some part of your life may stay the same as you reach this para dime shift. everyone needs an anchor when the world goes topsy turvy. The tears will fade and the panic will subside. The finality of your choice and the subsequenting results have already happened, you can't change them. You will come to realize that all you have hope of changing is the today and how you will act in future. It isn't all that hard a promise to make yourself, but like anything truly important in life, it will be a test of character whether you work at it or not.

And maybe, just maybe, if you are truly repentant, you might be able to mend in time the hurt you've caused. it's not much, but a spark of hope is always effective. Gives you something to strove for at least. So dry those tears, lift your head and remember who you are. Remember that you are human and bound to make mistakes. But that you are also human enough to learn from those mistakes and grow into a better person because of it.

And to those who you've hurt, I can only contemplate their role in your life. Be they positive influences, or truly devious, even i cannot divine. But I hope, as only someone who loves you can, that they find their happiness. That they manage to grow from this as I hope you do. And I don't want to jinx it, but maybe one day, when they've grown enough to reflect on this without breaking all over, they may forgive you. because forgiveness is one of the hardest and yet most freeing things we can learn to do. Even when the people who hurt us don't deserve it, we are better for having let go the drive to even that pain. Because as much as pain can strip illusions away top reveal important lessons, so it can also overwhelm that experience so no knowledge can be obtained.

And although i can't completely separate myself from the situation, I can at least look on it from a more bearable prospective. Please take care of yourselves, both parties involved. For your dilemma makes contact with me, or i would have not had anything to say on the matter. I wish you both the best of luck, knowing that it will mean little coming from me. My good vibes are far outweighed. I only hope that you remember that there is more to you and the lives you lead than this moment. Don't forget that tomorrow will shine, whether you are ready to meet it or not. do not let it ruin whatever good is left in your life. Do not let it poison you. Fight with all your might to come to the surface of strife.

Kick and scream and rise above. Because the truth is that all adults do it. They cry, even if you don't see. So learn the lesson, whatever it is that you need to learn, and get on with your life. It sounds cruel,. but let's face it.

Sometimes life is cruel. And sometimes the words of others are what force us to see what we don't want to. So even if you can't face it now, know that I say these things out of love. Because sometimes you need someone to give you the proverbial slap in the face. And by now, I'm sure you realized, that love can be painful sometimes. So don't hate me if these words hurt to read. Because I write them out of love. I write them for you.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:10 am


(random poems that was in my head. XD)

The jury is out, as I walk up the stairs
where is my knight in shining armor?
sweet promises of better days
and good intentions gone awry
I did my best, to be good again
And stay on the honorable path
but someone planted the seed of doubt
making the mob seek out a modern witch

So the jury debates, as I stand on the platform
waiting for my second chance
You whispered such lies
and treated me so kind
while pruning me for the worlds demise
I did my best, to follow the crowd
and blend in like you
but the truth is like poison to the wicked

The jury still waits, their minds all confused
was there a reason for them to have to choose?
the fate of one child easily hidden
swept under rugs for political reasons
but no matter the thought
or the concept of deed
brings them still to the final reprieve
finish it now, with the ritual blaze

And the jury will be late, when they light the fires
Shining knight on the sidelines, lost
I will cry, as my dream shatters
turned all to ash on my funeral pyre
but I still knows that I have one last point
a wish for the world in my moment of hope
without any malice, or feelings of hate
I ask god for their redemption

a second chance for the world
a gift willingly given
at the price of an innocent


"Sing to me of lovely things, of butterflies and angel wings
willow wisps and fuzzy cattails, leaves that drift on forest trails
singing birds that float on air, rainbows and little hares

Then grab my hand and hold me close, save me from this earthly dose
I dare not ask another knight, to carry me through this plight
to you I trust, to you I plea
kill me now and set me free"

"Singing trees and humming grass, look to me through sightless glass.
With hands to heaven and feet to hell, we hope to rise above the swell.
But the winds of death are always there, a winters chill to strip you bare
,"

I give to you this one last gift, a promise of daftly shift
The knight has fallen, his horse has fled
And the sun has dipped off to bed
But even now, you again may rise
A second chance to claim your prize

Foxi Doll

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Foxi Doll

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 11:27 pm


Winds are howling, the leaves are fleeing
and there's nothing I can do to disperse this feeling
With so many distractions and little odd sounds
It's hard to concentrate on the words I've found
So I'll sit here and stare and await epiphany
As so many around scream out their victory
Such cacophony blocks any creative vibe
Yet its unfair to leave, find a quaint place to hide
Because its a special day and a special game
Though I still wonder how many players they can name
There's still a word count I've yet to reach
While I sit here thinking I want to play on the beach
With the dun in my eyes and sand on my toes
An the smell of fresh sea water on the tip of my nose
Instead I'm watching the ignorant and lame
fighting their electronics and a battle gone tame
And still there's the defeat of a wasted day
My word count delayed by a past birthday soiree.


Bring your shield and hammer knight
Ride with me to battle tonight.
The gates of hell hath opened here
And demons rise to cast you fear

(alternate version)
Bring your shield and hammer knight
For off to battle we go tonight
For land, lord and lady we go
Off to fight our worthy foe

Sweet chickadee, please sing to me
I've gone and turned all gray
Oh chickadee, sweet chickadee
please sing of better days
For winter's here and summer's gone
And spring's so far away
So chickadee, my chickadee
Please sing my blues away
PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 3:35 am


Lost in infinite translation
A world with social constipation
Such frustration at our own indignation
Our own trepidation at political masturbation
While starvation is striking a nation
dripping behind our over medication
A vexation that only encourages postulation
of the mind and the body and the soul

Foxi Doll

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