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BlondHash

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:33 pm


I wrote this a while ago.. It's just a short little peom. When I read over it again I thought I should post it because I kind of feel that way now as well..


It feels like I've been payin' for my sins for a thousand years, so sin I must to far surpass my punishment in just and fears. The lust, the crime and dust kicked up from guns and drowned by tears, the weed a must while washin' down a crushed heart with a thosand beers!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:00 pm


BlondHash
I wrote this a while ago.. It's just a short little peom. When I read over it again I thought I should post it because I kind of feel that way now as well..


It feels like I've been payin' for my sins for a thousand years, so sin I must to far surpass my punishment in just and fears. The lust, the crime and dust kicked up from guns and drowned by tears, the weed a must while washin' down a crushed heart with a thosand beers!
It's interesting, however it hard to read as a poem since it's not in poem format.

Snowblazer
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laseipsis

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 7:54 am


nice text, only in two lines it's almost unreadable, try to cut some lines and make it like this; if i may suggest on your poem, it's still your poem but then with better lines,

if i may not sorrry for it, because i only wanna show how you can change a text in a more beautifull lay-out.

if you do it your self feel and talk it up that is the way to write it smile

It feels like
I've been payin' for my sins
for a thousand years,

so sin I must to far
surpass my punishment
in just and fears.

The lust,
the crime and dust
kicked up from guns and drowned by tears,

the weed
a must while washin' down
a crushed heart with a thosand beers!

afcourse this is only a possebility and how i feel your poem
hope you can do something with it cool
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Poetic/Songs

 
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