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 Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:54 am
Hey all! Those of you that are older with anxiety disorders might know what I'm about to talk about. So, any advice support and your own stories are greatly appreciated and welcome in this thread!
First off a bit of background info about me: I've been married for 10 years and my husband is in the military. I have only worked a few times in this 10year timespan because I didn't really need to, or it was more cost effective for me to stay home and take care of our small children than to put them in daycare. Now that my smallest will be starting preschool this fall there is no reason for me not to have a job and about 40k in debt and car payments that say I should.
This brings me to my anxiety. My trigger is not knowing. It is brought on by having to wait( lines/ traffic/ appointments kill me). I also panic if I dont know where a bathroom is because my panic attacks are accompanied by a very upset stomach which just starts the circle over again. Just worrying about all this is giving me that sick taste in the back of my throat and I've alread been to the bathroom since I started this thread. (hangs head in shame)
I really REALLY want to get past this problem and I can only do that by facing my fears, so I've started job hunting. I'm specifically looking for an administrative assistant type position. I like the job, it pays better than retail, and it has consistent daily hours with nights and weekends off usually. I have put in probably 10 resumes so far, with 3 really strong jobs I want, but have yet to get a response aside from fake job posting( such a waste of my time!!). One job I really want is a records clerk with a local community college. I even woke up early in the morning and drove to the human resources office to personally hand in my resume in hopes of an on the spot interview. No such luck. All the anxiety I dealt with over night, the tossing, the turning, the NOT sleeping all for nothing. I probably could have gotten the same results faxing it. So now I sit here and wait constantly searching for another opening, checking my phone for call backs, and basically in a constant mode of slight panic because of all the "what if's". What if I do get a call back? Who will be able to watch my children for the interview? Will i beable to make it through the interview once i get there? Will I beable to find daycare for my children if I do get a job? Will I get a full blown attack on the first day of work?
Then of course there are the what if my resume is written wrong? What if I forgot something? what if they find someone more qualified? What if I never find a job? And on, and on, and on!!! My self esteem is plummeting ans its begining to make my brain hurt!
So advice, methods to cope, anything? I could really use the Help and thanks for reading my LONG post!
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:48 am
I know it's rough, and I have not had a job, but I have heard a lot of tips from friends that seem quite useful.
1. Don't worry that you handed in a resume in-person. It generally gives a better impression if you show up to personally hand it in, give a strong handshake, and appear confident. It usually doesn't result in an on-the-spot interview, but it gives a great first impression that could set you apart from an identical, faxed resume.
2. If you don't get these jobs, look at jobs that are one step below an administrative assistant position and do some research on them. I don't know about most places, but there is a theme park around here that many local teenagers work at. In certain departments, people have been promoted from a cashier position to an assistant manager position within mere weeks, while other departments keep them in the cashier position for years. It may be the same for some places near you.
I think one of the best things you can do is be affirmative with yourself and others. I get horribly anxious, yeah, but over the years I've learned outward affirmation, and I've stopped my anxiety about waiting. Tell yourself that there is nothing you can do now; you either get an interview or not, and if you do, you just speak to them calmly and convince them you want that job. Worry less about how you're displaying yourself and focus more on getting a positive reaction. The difference is subtle, but there--one thought process puts the focus on yourself and your traits, while the other puts it half on your speech and half on the other person.
As for your children, think about when they would need daycare. If it's after three o'clock (generally), then you should be able to enlist the aid of high school students. They're young and want jobs, and the major freelance jobs they go for are babysitting, petsitting, and lawnmowing. Many will also go for low rates, because they just want money; if it's a steady job, that makes low rates less of an issue. Set up posters around town advertising a daycare job, with a minimum age (16, perhaps) and a number to call. If that doesn't work, head to the nearest high school (if there is one) and see if they'll put up a poster for you or advertise it (mine had a job board with open jobs for petsitting, pizza places, and pretty much everything). I don't know about college students, but I know high schoolers love jobs like that.
Good luck getting a good job, and I hope it all goes well for you.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:04 am
Song of the Century I know it's rough, and I have not had a job, but I have heard a lot of tips from friends that seem quite useful. 1. Don't worry that you handed in a resume in-person. It generally gives a better impression if you show up to personally hand it in, give a strong handshake, and appear confident. It usually doesn't result in an on-the-spot interview, but it gives a great first impression that could set you apart from an identical, faxed resume. 2. If you don't get these jobs, look at jobs that are one step below an administrative assistant position and do some research on them. I don't know about most places, but there is a theme park around here that many local teenagers work at. In certain departments, people have been promoted from a cashier position to an assistant manager position within mere weeks, while other departments keep them in the cashier position for years. It may be the same for some places near you. I think one of the best things you can do is be affirmative with yourself and others. I get horribly anxious, yeah, but over the years I've learned outward affirmation, and I've stopped my anxiety about waiting. Tell yourself that there is nothing you can do now; you either get an interview or not, and if you do, you just speak to them calmly and convince them you want that job. Worry less about how you're displaying yourself and focus more on getting a positive reaction. The difference is subtle, but there--one thought process puts the focus on yourself and your traits, while the other puts it half on your speech and half on the other person. As for your children, think about when they would need daycare. If it's after three o'clock (generally), then you should be able to enlist the aid of high school students. They're young and want jobs, and the major freelance jobs they go for are babysitting, petsitting, and lawnmowing. Many will also go for low rates, because they just want money; if it's a steady job, that makes low rates less of an issue. Set up posters around town advertising a daycare job, with a minimum age (16, perhaps) and a number to call. If that doesn't work, head to the nearest high school (if there is one) and see if they'll put up a poster for you or advertise it (mine had a job board with open jobs for petsitting, pizza places, and pretty much everything). I don't know about college students, but I know high schoolers love jobs like that. Good luck getting a good job, and I hope it all goes well for you. Thanks for the advice and for reading! I'll definately take all you've said into consideration!
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:55 pm
Part of finding a job is it's a job itself. All you can do is constantly keep working at making yourself look and feel the best that you can to increase your chances of attracting any employer. Always edit each resume to make it match what you think this specific employer would want to hear and have as an employee.
Bad Example: You wrote down on your resume that you are great with Adobe Photoshop for an accountant secretary.
Good Alternative Example: You wrote down on your resume that you have intermediate knowledge of using and taking care of computers and/or have advanced knowledge with Microsoft Office programs.
There are certificates you can get or request from classes that proves to your employer faster that you are able to use these programs. So you may have to take a class every year to get a renewed authentic certificate (worth $10) if you need to update your resume.
Never believe that you failed or that they didn't want you for the job. It's only because someone happened to fit their fancy better, such as someone who is actually more incompetent than you. I had a friend denied a job because he was too competent to be a waitress so they hired a mentally handicapped person so they could well.. take advantage of him. In a way it was cost efficient but they didn't have to pay him extra to do basic things nor could that employee fight back.
If you can't figure out if you're making your resume too under-qualified or over-qualified, go to an unemployment agency and ask to be paired up with a helper. They can just look over your resume and answer any questions you have or give you suggestions.
Find articles on how to snag a job more successfully. See if you can articulate your current skills or enunciate your speaking to be less flawed (there's no way to make anything flawless).
There's a difference between being cautious and afraid. When you are cautious, you are in a calm state, taking active actions to make your skills better and yourself feel better. Being afraid you can be in a panic, constantly re-hashing worst case scenarios despite it has never happened to you, to anyone you know of personally, or to some extreme people, even after they got the job they are still thinking they won't (ironic I know).
Believe in yourself and act as if you already got the job. You're just proving your employer face to face. If you constantly show up and request to hand the resume in person and sneak in some quick chatting, they'll remember you better. Arrogance (not ignorance though) makes an impression to leaders. As long as you're still polite, you're not being an arrogant jerk. If you don't hear from them from two weeks, try to apply or hand in a resume again, also. Advertise yourself! It's apparently not rude at all, but it shows you're too desperate if you do it daily or less than two weeks. Hirees are busy people.
I hope this helps you!
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:04 pm
Trainer Aurora Rain Part of finding a job is it's a job itself. All you can do is constantly keep working at making yourself look and feel the best that you can to increase your chances of attracting any employer. Always edit each resume to make it match what you think this specific employer would want to hear and have as an employee. Bad Example: You wrote down on your resume that you are great with Adobe Photoshop for an accountant secretary. Good Alternative Example: You wrote down on your resume that you have intermediate knowledge of using and taking care of computers and/or have advanced knowledge with Microsoft Office programs. There are certificates you can get or request from classes that proves to your employer faster that you are able to use these programs. So you may have to take a class every year to get a renewed authentic certificate (worth $10) if you need to update your resume. Never believe that you failed or that they didn't want you for the job. It's only because someone happened to fit their fancy better, such as someone who is actually more incompetent than you. I had a friend denied a job because he was too competent to be a waitress so they hired a mentally handicapped person so they could well.. take advantage of him. In a way it was cost efficient but they didn't have to pay him extra to do basic things nor could that employee fight back. If you can't figure out if you're making your resume too under-qualified or over-qualified, go to an unemployment agency and ask to be paired up with a helper. They can just look over your resume and answer any questions you have or give you suggestions. Find articles on how to snag a job more successfully. See if you can articulate your current skills or enunciate your speaking to be less flawed (there's no way to make anything flawless). There's a difference between being cautious and afraid. When you are cautious, you are in a calm state, taking active actions to make your skills better and yourself feel better. Being afraid you can be in a panic, constantly re-hashing worst case scenarios despite it has never happened to you, to anyone you know of personally, or to some extreme people, even after they got the job they are still thinking they won't (ironic I know). Believe in yourself and act as if you already got the job. You're just proving your employer face to face. If you constantly show up and request to hand the resume in person and sneak in some quick chatting, they'll remember you better. Arrogance (not ignorance though) makes an impression to leaders. As long as you're still polite, you're not being an arrogant jerk. If you don't hear from them from two weeks, try to apply or hand in a resume again, also. Advertise yourself! It's apparently not rude at all, but it shows you're too desperate if you do it daily or less than two weeks. Hirees are busy people. I hope this helps you! Thanks! It actually helps a lot. It validates that what I have been doing is right, and give me ideas on how improve. It's funny you mentioned self promoting since I posted this earlier today: http://fayetteville.craigslist.org/res/3158292839.htmlLet me know what you think!
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:32 pm
Kitty Thanks! It actually helps a lot. It validates that what I have been doing is right, and give me ideas on how improve. It's funny you mentioned self promoting since I posted this earlier today: http://fayetteville.craigslist.org/res/3158292839.htmlLet me know what you think! It could do with better grammar. That would make it look more professional, may sway some people's opinions... I know you say at the end you'd like to not be looked over for it, but if you have the time to go back through and fix it, that could be the difference between getting a job or not. Some employers will think "If they can't bother to use good grammar, where else will they lack attention to detail?" At the very least, a few spell-checked words (you typed "wit" as "whit", for example) and putting spaces between words and parentheses (so that you get (this) instead(of)(this)) will make it a lot less obvious. The *boom*, *gasp*, and other such words with the asterisks might be a bit awkward to read for someone who's not used to such formatting, which tends to be internet-only. Otherwise, it looks great in terms of being a people person. It's got pep and it's got information. Sorry if I seem a bit nitpicky about the grammar--those are just the more obvious things that people definitely will pick up on, while other mistakes are tiny or common enough that they'll be passed over in a bunch of cases. Additionally, saying that you pride yourself on your grammar and then later mention that you may have made a lot of grammatical mistakes is a very, very bad thing. Pick one of the two phrases to keep and get rid of the other one. You don't want contradictions on your resume.
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:50 pm
Kitty Thanks! It actually helps a lot. It validates that what I have been doing is right, and give me ideas on how improve. It's funny you mentioned self promoting since I posted this earlier today: http://fayetteville.craigslist.org/res/3158292839.htmlLet me know what you think! Hello, while I was reading it, I had my friend reaffirm this too so I could find a concise way to explain this. Your ad doesn't sound professional. This is filed in the category as a resume, so it's lacking it's basic foundation of what makes a resume. It's suppose to be short, concise, and for very lazy, I can't express how lazy and nitpicky employers are (not that they're strict but just lazy) on wanting to pick the best employee based on how nice the resume sounds even if it's too good to be true or obviously fake. It's fine, sometimes great, to have humor but there is a bit too much repetition of quotes, which gives the impression that you're talking to yourself, adding more than what you need in order to describe yourself, and creating sort of inside jokes. As a cover letter it's fine to have one or two but as a standard resume, your paper is like a form. You can only input your username, password, kind of form. No personal life details unless it's related to the matter. There are misspellings and words that don't exist throughout the ad. I'm sorry if these criticism sounds harsh but on the internet it lacks tone and what you did is unique, but needs to be conformed more into something an employer can understand and always have practiced. If you were being hired as a comedian, writer, or artist, this type of ad would be fine, but as an administrator they usually expect a robot who's charismatic, not necessarily open and friendly. For an example of what an employer would be turned off about is that the opening you said they are either needing an employee or that they're bored. They don't want to be reminded that their job is boring, and usually they are required to hire you, not boredom. Generally people take things personally and the idea could insult them as, "Bored = Desperate" They don't want to be seen desperate to you so they don't want to call you. The details of having pets is irrelevant to an administrator job. At most you can say you are great at organizing and multi-tasking because you have to manage pets and children while doing chores. This will make you a great assistant because you can handle living things that creates constant stress, messes, and demands so it won't be new to you. You are trained through life experience that you have a lot of stamina, good at responsibilities, giving, get the job done, and kind. "Whit" is suppose to be "wit" and education-wise is not a word. You don't have to explain that you know the difference between "They're and there" it's already assumed that if you say you have good grammar, you show, or at least avoid making those mistakes, in your resume. What they don't know can't hurt them! Don't write out actions, such as *fist pump* these gestures or styles of writing may not find amusing or most of the time, comprehensible, to the employer especially if they're from an older generation or someone who doesn't use the internet a lot. Avoid using capitalization unless it's a title, some font styles are like that so people do that to design their ad/resumes by using caps to divide the resume better. Rules of resumes are that they must be only one page long. Again, people who read these are lazy! There are more issues but I wanted you to see what I am saying so far and see what you can do to fix your ad and I can see it again the second time.
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:54 pm
Song of the Century Kitty Thanks! It actually helps a lot. It validates that what I have been doing is right, and give me ideas on how improve. It's funny you mentioned self promoting since I posted this earlier today: http://fayetteville.craigslist.org/res/3158292839.htmlLet me know what you think! It could do with better grammar. That would make it look more professional, may sway some people's opinions... I know you say at the end you'd like to not be looked over for it, but if you have the time to go back through and fix it, that could be the difference between getting a job or not. Some employers will think "If they can't bother to use good grammar, where else will they lack attention to detail?" At the very least, a few spell-checked words (you typed "wit" as "whit", for example) and putting spaces between words and parentheses (so that you get (this) instead(of)(this)) will make it a lot less obvious. The *boom*, *gasp*, and other such words with the asterisks might be a bit awkward to read for someone who's not used to such formatting, which tends to be internet-only. Otherwise, it looks great in terms of being a people person. It's got pep and it's got information. Sorry if I seem a bit nitpicky about the grammar--those are just the more obvious things that people definitely will pick up on, while other mistakes are tiny or common enough that they'll be passed over in a bunch of cases. Additionally, saying that you pride yourself on your grammar and then later mention that you may have made a lot of grammatical mistakes is a very, very bad thing. Pick one of the two phrases to keep and get rid of the other one. You don't want contradictions on your resume. It's ok to be nitpicky! I've read it so many times that my eyes are crossed and its no wonder I miss the small thing... Thanks for pointing them out. Not being an English major, I think the few smaller grammatical errors won't count to terribly against me, and truthfully, it was reall just a joke. While I'd love a job to come out of this, I really don't expect one. Thanks, though! I will fix what I can to make it look more professional! cat_3nodding
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:16 pm
Trainer Aurora Rain Kitty Thanks! It actually helps a lot. It validates that what I have been doing is right, and give me ideas on how improve. It's funny you mentioned self promoting since I posted this earlier today: http://fayetteville.craigslist.org/res/3158292839.htmlLet me know what you think! Hello, while I was reading it, I had my friend reaffirm this too so I could find a concise way to explain this. Your ad doesn't sound professional. This is filed in the category as a resume, so it's lacking it's basic foundation of what makes a resume. It's suppose to be short, concise, and for very lazy, I can't express how lazy and nitpicky employers are (not that they're strict but just lazy) on wanting to pick the best employee based on how nice the resume sounds even if it's too good to be true or obviously fake. It's fine, sometimes great, to have humor but there is a bit too much repetition of quotes, which gives the impression that you're talking to yourself, adding more than what you need in order to describe yourself, and creating sort of inside jokes. As a cover letter it's fine to have one or two but as a standard resume, your paper is like a form. You can only input your username, password, kind of form. No personal life details unless it's related to the matter. There are misspellings and words that don't exist throughout the ad. I'm sorry if these criticism sounds harsh but on the internet it lacks tone and what you did is unique, but needs to be conformed more into something an employer can understand and always have practiced. If you were being hired as a comedian, writer, or artist, this type of ad would be fine, but as an administrator they usually expect a robot who's charismatic, not necessarily open and friendly. For an example of what an employer would be turned off about is that the opening you said they are either needing an employee or that they're bored. They don't want to be reminded that their job is boring, and usually they are required to hire you, not boredom. Generally people take things personally and the idea could insult them as, "Bored = Desperate" They don't want to be seen desperate to you so they don't want to call you. The details of having pets is irrelevant to an administrator job. At most you can say you are great at organizing and multi-tasking because you have to manage pets and children while doing chores. This will make you a great assistant because you can handle living things that creates constant stress, messes, and demands so it won't be new to you. You are trained through life experience that you have a lot of stamina, good at responsibilities, giving, get the job done, and kind. "Whit" is suppose to be "wit" and education-wise is not a word. You don't have to explain that you know the difference between "They're and there" it's already assumed that if you say you have good grammar, you show, or at least avoid making those mistakes, in your resume. What they don't know can't hurt them! Don't write out actions, such as *fist pump* these gestures or styles of writing may not find amusing or most of the time, comprehensible, to the employer especially if they're from an older generation or someone who doesn't use the internet a lot. Avoid using capitalization unless it's a title, some font styles are like that so people do that to design their ad/resumes by using caps to divide the resume better. Rules of resumes are that they must be only one page long. Again, people who read these are lazy! There are more issues but I wanted you to see what I am saying so far and see what you can do to fix your ad and I can see it again the second time. Well in all truth, it wasn't ment to be professional. My whole point to it was that professional these days = stuffy, lifeless, lazy, BORING! I am none of these thing and I had hopes that I could get that across. This isn't a resume. As I stated,that, could be provided upon request. It was more of an joking open letter. It was placed in the resume forum because I determined that to be the most appropriate place for it to go. If anything, I just hoped to give a few desperate souls, like myself, a chuckle and if an employer happened to read it (I really doubt they ever look in that section, preferring people come to them) and they actually liked it, then they might choose me based on being myself, not how well I wrote a resume or cover letter or took a test. Also, I wasn't saying the employer was bored so they were looking at it, I was saying that other job seekers who were bored, and probably just as down in the dumps as i am about this whole job seeking thing, are reading it for the sheer fact that they have nothing better to do. I will try to fix my spelling issues(Word can only do so much), and the grammatical issues I'm aware of, such as spacing. I DO appreciate you looking at this and giving me your opinion.
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:52 pm
Kitty Well in all truth, it wasn't ment to be professional. My whole point to it was that professional these days = stuffy, lifeless, lazy, BORING! I am none of these thing and I had hopes that I could get that across. This isn't a resume. As I stated,that, could be provided upon request. It was more of an joking open letter. It was placed in the resume forum because I determined that to be the most appropriate place for it to go. If anything, I just hoped to give a few desperate souls, like myself, a chuckle and if an employer happened to read it (I really doubt they ever look in that section, preferring people come to them) and they actually liked it, then they might choose me based on being myself, not how well I wrote a resume or cover letter or took a test. Also, I wasn't saying the employer was bored so they were looking at it, I was saying that other job seekers who were bored, and probably just as down in the dumps as i am about this whole job seeking thing, are reading it for the sheer fact that they have nothing better to do. I will try to fix my spelling issues(Word can only do so much), and the grammatical issues I'm aware of, such as spacing. I DO appreciate you looking at this and giving me your opinion. Great positivity! It means you are a very open minded and understanding person. Thank you for being you biggrin Another way to direct your words to the employer to make sure there's no misunderstandings or "hidden context" is that proclaim that "You either need a new employee, or a very unique employee! I can be your daily enigma event while getting work done!" Feel free to change my wordings by the way since English is my second language, I lack grammar skills. I rarely have a intelligent, English, debating, or socializing life to follow the rule, "Write the way you talk!" People will choose you whether or not you sound professional or not in person, but with only text you can only make it easier and faster for them to read as long as they remember your name and enough reasons to contact you. Humor is fine, but gestures or inside jokes, those are presented in face to face. It's easier to bond visually and vocally. I don't know how to make the spin to make it more humorous for you on a resume, I never took practice on that. I make jokes on tests and things like that ha ha. Most employers hire people who have the right skill set and take their job seriously. That is why most of the time humor is never or very hard to include any uniqueness to a job advertisement.
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