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For a moment Tic thought that R'yn would leave it at that. That he would accept her saying she couldn't and they wouldn't have to talk about it anymore. "I love you too." She leaned into him, feeling bad that she couldn't give him what he wanted, but knowing it was for the best. They couldn't do it. It would just be unfair on the child involved to expect them to be happy with being slotted into the pair's already hectic life. Sadly Ticene had thought wrong and he wasn't going to let it go.

A sigh escaped as R'yn suggested they foster. Tic had to wonder if he had really thought about this and what was involved in having a child. As R'yn continued Tic felt a cool anger bubbling up. He just didn't get it and the more he pushed the more Ticene found her grip tightening on the knife still in her hand just to stop her from biting out some harsh comment. He could come up with as many excuses and reason as he wanted, but it would not be enough. She knew her reasons and they were good enough for her. Finally Ticene seemed to reach a breaking point as she moved swiftly away from R'yn. "Junior goldriders do that, R'yn. They have the time to spend on it." She said as she walked away before turning to look at him.

Despite herself the words still came out with an acidic sting to them. Even though Tic had not wanted to be mean or angry for this conversation she couldn't help the feeling that was rising to the surface. It had just made her so angry that she had said no and yet R'yn had felt the need to push the subject on her. "I said no because I do not want to. Not because I can't have children." Since he had chosen fostering Tic assumed that he had taken her to mean she was either incapable or didn't want to go through pregnancy, rather than her true meaning. In reality though Tic was telling a slight lie to him. Deep down Tic did want children, just not the problems that would come with them and the way they would have to be raised in the Weyr.

"If it is so important for you to have children then you should start seeking out someone else because you will not be getting them from me." Immediately after the words left her lips Ticene regretted it. It had just come out without her thinking about it. She had just told R'yn to go and be with someone else. She didn't want that, but Ticene was far too proud to admit that she had just let her mouth run away with her. Remaining as hard faced as ever despite her words Tic silently dreaded that R'yn would agree with her.

Ticene remained silent as R'yn reacted to her words; there was really nothing she could say to excuse what she had said to him. She hadn't meant that she wanted him gone or that she thought he would leave her because of their disagreement on children. It had been a flippant comment, said in anger without her thinking about the consequences beforehand. It meant nothing, but she couldn't say that. She couldn't answer his question, even though she wanted to say no. Of course she didn't think of him that way, R'yn would never be so self-obsessed as to discard her because she did not want the same things as her.

As R'yn continued Tic only found herself feeling worse. First he told her he loved her, which was hardly something she heard rarely from R'yn. Her weyrmate was very thorough in telling her that he loved her. Sometimes however it simply had more effect; this was one of those times. Listening to her constantly and never questioning her. Did she really treat him that badly? Saying it like that made it sound like Tic simply walked all over R'yn and expected him to do whatever she said. She sounded like such a trial. Maybe R'yn would be better with someone else, someone who didn't treat him that way and would give him what he wanted.

R'yn turned away from her and Ticene felt her heart drop, her chest hurt and once again tears threatened to appear. For someone who always thought themselves so independent the idea of losing R'yn was heart-breaking for Ticene. She didn't understand how she could go from being so angry with him to so sad in such a short time. All it had taken was one comment without thought and everything had changed. "But I am happy. I'm happy the way things are." Not entirely true. There was a slight hitch in her voice proving that Tic certainly wasn't happy at that exact moment in time, she was however happy with her life in general.

"Yes, of course I'm happy with you." Tic wrapped her arms around R'yn and huddled as close to her weyrmate as possible. Their brief exchange had pointed out to Tic just how much she needed R'yn and how she would never be able to cope if she were to lose him. Just the thought of being without R'yn made her want to cry, something she was trying exceptionally hard not to do now. Tic's eyes fled from his in the face of his reason. She took a breath, knowing she had to explain to him. "R'yn... Having a child would be a wonderful thing, but..." She trailed off and looked back at him again. "But, I wouldn't be able to be there for them as much as I would want to. If we had a child I would want us to be the ones who raised them. I couldn't bear the thought of giving them to a foster mother and having her be the one that's there for them instead of us." That was Ticene's problem with having children in the Weyr. She would be expected to foster them out and Tic couldn't do that. She wanted to be there for any child she had, that they be the ones to hear their first words, see their first steps. Not some other woman raising them because Tic didn't have time.

Tic allowed the knife to be taken from her, realising that her death grip on it really wasn't the safest thing. "I love you too, R'yn, so much." She spoke quietly, placing her hand over R'yn's. Pressing even closer Tic tightened her hold on R'yn slightly. "I am happy, R'yn, as long as I have you, I'll always be happy." She meant it, as long as R'yn was with her nothing else really matter. She could handle the Weyr collapsing around her as long as he was there to help her pick up the pieces after.

When R'yn smiled Tic couldn't help but smile back, but like his smile hers was sad. "R'yn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I love you and I know you wouldn't do something like that." Burying her face in R'yn shoulder Ticene felt the guilt for saying something so thoughtless rise up again. R'yn was just being so sweet and caring after she had said such cruel things to him. "I love you, R'yn, I really really do."

When R'yn pushed her away a small thread of worry shot through Ticene. She stayed utterly still as he looked her over scared of what could be coming next. R'yn spoke and for a moment Tic braced herself for it to start all over again. She really didn't want to keep going over it, but it seemed that was the end of it. His comment held a certain finality to it and she was perfectly happy with that to be the end of it. She smiled when R'yn told her he loved her yet again. How many times had the pair of them said that inside this cave alone? It was an interesting way to resolve an argument; just to reaffirm how much they cared about each other.

"I promise. I've always been happy with you." It didn't matter if they fought or what else may try to come between them. Tic loved R'yn and she had never been happier than she was now. Tic snuggled closer once again as R'yn voiced his concerns about her mood. She hadn't really thought about it, but then it was probably easier for others to see than her. Thinking about it she had been getting more upset lately and that had only led her to getting angry more often. "I think I've just been tired lately. Sorry if I've been snapping at you." She wasn't certainly why she was tired mind. She couldn't remember waking up during the nights, maybe she was just overworking herself. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I am glad we spent today together." Even if the last part had been less enjoyable, but the day wasn't over yet. "Maybe I do need to tone it down a little." If she was seeming that stressed maybe she needed to calm down a little in the amount of work she was doing. Or just reorganise her time so she wouldn't be as tired.