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 Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:29 am
Basics ::
xxxxxName: Jet
xxxxxNickname(s): None
xxxxxFaction: Diamonds
xxxxxAge: 25 (when fully grown)
xxxxxHeight: 6' 2"
xxxxxBody Type: Athletic
xxxxxBlood Type: B
Poké-basics ::
xxxxxPokemon: Growlithe
xxxxxPokemon type: Fire
xxxxxNatural Ability: Flash Fire
xxxxxPerma: No. Growlithe >> Arcanine
xxxxxMoveset:
- Bite >> Bite >> Crunch
- Ember >> Ember >> Flamethrower
- Take Down >> Take Down >> Flare Blitz
- Roar >> Heat Wave >> Heat Wave
Personality ::
-"There's a ton of ways to solve this problem, but why should I bother?" (( Flexible >> Lazy ))
-- Raised in a manner most would consider wild, there wasn't a whole lot of structure in Jet's childhood world. He was encouraged to always keep an open mind to the possibilities around him rather than seeing what others wanted him to see; to limit your thinking to absolutes was to limit what you could accomplish. When problems come up he likes to find as many potential solutions as possible.
-- Sadly, he doesn't put many of those solutions into action. Jet finds that most of his problems in life can be solved simply by walking away and letting them fix themselves, with no effort on his part. This includes people when they become too clingy or disagreeable. He'd rather take the easy way out, no matter that it might create worse consequences that he'll have to face later down the road.
-"You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?" (( Flirty >> Perverted ))
-- He's a horrible flirt, in the sense that he both flirts a lot and will use some of the cheesiest lines you've ever heard with a completely straight face. It might take you a moment to realize he's serious and not just teasing you to be a goof, cause really, who uses lines like that nowadays anyway? He doesn't seem to have specific preferences when it comes to looks, since he'll flirt with just about anyone.
-- He's also quite a pervert. He likes to poke, prod, and sometimes full-out grope to get reactions out of people. You can tell him off all you like, if you're into the habit of wasting your time. He'll just find sneakier ways to continue harassing you. If you don't tell him off he's more than willing to take things further, unless he senses it might cause complications. He's not out to be a target for jealousy or hurt anyone, he just wants to have a good time.
-"You have lots of good qualities! Your a**, for one!" (( Candid >> Blunt ))
-- When asked a question he'll always give an honest answer, whether it's something about himself or his opinion you're looking for. There's only a few things he won't tell you, but he'll never twist his words around or lie.
-- Of course, when we say he always gives honest answers we mean he always gives honest answers. If he thinks your new hairstyle looks like a Mareep's been chewing on your head, he'll say so. And if you pester him to answer questions he doesn't want to, he will firmly (and quite colorfully) tell you where to put your inquiries. You may be impressed by the physiologal impossibilities he comes up with, or you might be someone it's better not to cross. Doesn't make a difference to him.
-"Being mysterious is part of my charm. Why don't you tell me more about yourself instead?" (( Curious >> Aloof ))
-- Whether through questions, snooping, or observation, he has an insatiable curiousity. He likes to know the hows and the whys, what happens if you add in this variable over that variable. He wants to understand the world he's exploring, and the people in it.
-- The closer he gets to another person though, the more he tries to step back. Having a connection with someone means the potential of that person using that connection to tie him down against his will. He can be quite social and make friends just fine, but there's always a part of himself that he holds back.
-"Go ahead and tell me I'm fighting a losing battle. It doesn't mean you're winning." (( Steadfast >> Stubborn ))
-- When he makes up his mind about something or someone, there's no way to change it. Lies, gossip, and discouragement go in one ear and out the other. Even when times are tough or when things seem bad, he'll stick to his guns and won't back down because some things are worth fighting for.
-- He can also be so close to his decision that he's blind to reality. He walks a fine line, and if happiness is on one side then self-destruction is on the other. It's no good telling him to turn back though, because even if he knows he's in over his head he won't say so. All you can do is offer him a balancing pole and hope he gets off the line without falling into ruin.
xxxxxStrengths: Sense of direction, foraging, positive attitude, loyalty, generousity.
xxxxxWeaknesses: Lack of tact, poor focus, perverted, lack of cooking skills, commitment issues.
xxxxxLikes: Watching crafters, trying new blends of tea, helping others find their way.
xxxxxDislikes: Fighting, eating his own cooking, dishonesty, overly clingy or entitled people.
xxxxxFavourite Food: Cured meats, jerky being one of his all-time favorites.
xxxxxHobbies: Astronomy, exploring, flirting
xxxxxInterests: Herbalism, cooking, martial arts, cartography.
xxxxxFaction Opinion: Neutrality suits him just fine; who wants to waste all their energy bickering and jockeying for power? Not to mention the forests and maze are just so much fun to explore!
xxxxxAspirations: Explore all of Wonderland.
xxxxxFears: Confinement, that feeling of being trapped in a situation with no way out.
Employment::
xxxxxTitle: Maze Master.
xxxxxJob: Guide. He spends a lot of his time exploring and is more than willing to help you through the maze (or anywhere else) in exchange for food or an interesting trinket.
Appearance::
xxxxxHair: Messy and a little shaggy, but no longer than shoulder-length at most. Golden blonde, with maybe an orange or black streak here or there.
xxxxxEyes: Either black or a really dark shade of blue.
xxxxxSkin tone: Tanned.
xxxxxPalette: Floating Hues. (Realize his colors are gonna be mostly Growlithe-inspired. Those are just colors he likes.)
xxxxxClothing: Lots of pockets and room to stash things. Hoodies with inner pockets, cargo pants/shorts. Kinda baggy, but not flowly. Loves fluffy lining, like this.
xxxxxAdditional: Originally submitted as a semi-custom, with this AMV as inspiration.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:27 pm
Status
Recieved first crit. Working on balancing personality and giving more depth.
Flexible >> Lazy - ready for crit
Flirtatious >> Capricious
Honest >> Distant
Adventurous >> Reckless
Steadfast >> Vengeful
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:09 pm
First off, as general advice, most of the traits are very one-dimensional at this time. The writing is fine, has a nice flair, but I'm not getting a lot of information about him as a character. Try making the quest as easy to read and simple to understand as possible.
Relaxed >> Lazy - These seemed balanced but, as stated above, they lack any form of real depth. There's nothing specific for me to point out, it just feels very hollow and uninformative.
Flirty >> Perverted - These tie into each other really well, but, it feels more like they should be placed under one trait together then as two separate traits at this time. Like the others these don't feel fully fleshed out.
Candid >> Blunt - These two, again, can be combined under one trait instead of two. Note that this format is for fleshing out a character with 10 different traits that all relate to one another, not for showing two sides of the same trait.
Curious >> Aloof - This is more what this form is for, but I'm not certain that one would be Aloof because they are curious. These two clash at the moment, so I'm not certain they belong together.
Steadfast >> Stubborn - Same as Candid and blunt, these are too close to one another to be considered separate traits.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:19 pm
Yea, after reading some of the other critiques I thought my descriptions might be a little flat >.< I'll work on fleshing him out more. I tried reworking his traits. How do these seem to you? Flexible >> LazyFlirtatious >> Capricious Honest >> DistantAdventurous >> RecklessSteadfast >> VengefulJust making sure I'm on the right track and you think they're balanced before I start fleshing them out, but if you think you'd need to hear personality details for all/some of the traits before you can decide if they work or not just let me know. Oh, and happy birthday : ) EDIT: Rewriting some of the stuff now, just to try to work my brain into the character. They're still kinda rough, but crits welcome. So far I've update the personality bits to: Flexible >> Lazy
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