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 Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:16 am
Hmmm, I thought I had posted this on here but it would appear not. So here is the most recent poem I've written. Sorry if I offend anyone for mentioning God. I've gotten yelled at for that before :/ A life short lived, a love long lost.
The price of suicide is a hefty cost.
Are you willing to bring it all to an end?
What God has given you, what time can mend.
But you’ve made your choice, you’re no longer there.
I’m just staring at an empty chair.
That gun you used took it all away,
And now you’ll never see the light of day.
Through my teary eyes, I think I see
A happy face like yours used to be.
Long gone now is that laugh, that smile,
But I still hear it once in a while.
So I must ask; was it worth everything you lost?
Did the solution have to be that hefty of a cost?
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:33 am
Oh, i love this one! Mostly because it's one of those poems that makes the reader think. I've written quite a few suidical poems myself when i was depressed so i know the theme of this very well.
But to each one's own opinion of the theme. Though i do know how it's like to miss someone so dearly...
I've experienced death back in April.. when i lost someone in the family that i was close to... not because of suicide... but still, death can be very hard to accept... I remember i was so sad... and i wasn't grieving properly at the time too... so it made me suicidal.. xD
-sigh- yeah...
Overall, I love how you write. You express your emotions well!! Keep on writing girl! =)
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:50 am
Sleeping Shrine Maiden Oh, i love this one! Mostly because it's one of those poems that makes the reader think. I've written quite a few suidical poems myself when i was depressed so i know the theme of this very well. But to each one's own opinion of the theme. Though i do know how it's like to miss someone so dearly... I've experienced death back in April.. when i lost someone in the family that i was close to... not because of suicide... but still, death can be very hard to accept... I remember i was so sad... and i wasn't grieving properly at the time too... so it made me suicidal.. xD -sigh- yeah... Overall, I love how you write. You express your emotions well!! Keep on writing girl! =) I wrote this on a day I had to go to my great uncle's funeral. He did not kill himself, thank goodness, but at the time, I had recently found out that someone really really close to me was thinking of commiting suicide. The emotion of losing someone comes from the funeral while the inspiration comes from the knowledge of the said someone's suicidal thoughts. I really hope this poem makes people think twice about what they're thinking of doing; how it will affect their loved ones and such. I showed it to the person that inspired me to write this and I made them promise to remember it if they ever have those thoughts again. I'm really happy that you love my writing so much. It means alot. Honestly, I've always thought myself more an author than a poet so perhaps you will like the story I have been posting on here as well. It is called War Maiden if you want to check it out. I'm planning on updating it soon.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:57 am
Girl on Fire 12 Sleeping Shrine Maiden Oh, i love this one! Mostly because it's one of those poems that makes the reader think. I've written quite a few suidical poems myself when i was depressed so i know the theme of this very well. But to each one's own opinion of the theme. Though i do know how it's like to miss someone so dearly... I've experienced death back in April.. when i lost someone in the family that i was close to... not because of suicide... but still, death can be very hard to accept... I remember i was so sad... and i wasn't grieving properly at the time too... so it made me suicidal.. xD -sigh- yeah... Overall, I love how you write. You express your emotions well!! Keep on writing girl! =) I wrote this on a day I had to go to my great uncle's funeral. He did not kill himself, thank goodness, but at the time, I had recently found out that someone really really close to me was thinking of commiting suicide. The emotion of losing someone comes from the funeral while the inspiration comes from the knowledge of the said someone's suicidal thoughts. I really hope this poem makes people think twice about what they're thinking of doing; how it will affect their loved ones and such. I showed it to the person that inspired me to write this and I made them promise to remember it if they ever have those thoughts again. I'm really happy that you love my writing so much. It means alot. Honestly, I've always thought myself more an author than a poet so perhaps you will like the story I have been posting on here as well. It is called War Maiden if you want to check it out. I'm planning on updating it soon. Ahh i see. Well, it's a good poem for that. =) Though i must say that sometimes certain people go through very bad s**t in their lives.. so i know most go through it... All i can say for thinking of suicide thoughts is confiding in someone you trust and have someone help you... because that's what i did... sweatdrop At times, you really can't blame the person depending on what their going through... Ahh i see. Hmmm... ha, i don't normally read much stories online... but i'll see if i can get to it. I write stories too but i find i'm more of a poet than an author.. hehee... =) Oh, i posted some of my poetry if you could read them and give me feedback as well? >.< When you have time?
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:58 am
Hello, Dear! Another inspiring piece of work, I'm glad to report. And it flows extremely well, might I add... excepting, perhaps, the last line which seems just a tad wordy to me... maybe if you where to exclude the word of there? Oh well, just a very minor point, and a manner of opinion, actually. Otherwise, a very touching poem. I can just ... well, it might seem a bit odd, but i can feel the poem... or rather the emotion the poem was meant to evoke, I guess, might be a better way of putting it. My brother... used to cut himself. Thank god he stopped before it killed him, but I know what your talking about, here.That feeling...
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:30 am
Theory Vale Hello, Dear! Another inspiring piece of work, I'm glad to report. And it flows extremely well, might I add... excepting, perhaps, the last line which seems just a tad wordy to me... maybe if you where to exclude the word of there? Oh well, just a very minor point, and a manner of opinion, actually. Otherwise, a very touching poem. I can just ... well, it might seem a bit odd, but i can feel the poem... or rather the emotion the poem was meant to evoke, I guess, might be a better way of putting it. My brother... used to cut himself. Thank god he stopped before it killed him, but I know what your talking about, here.That feeling... Thank you! I was debating on getting rid of the word 'of' when writing it but as you can see I decided to keep it. I'm sorry about your brother. I think we all go through a time in our lives like that or know someone close to us that is dealing with that sort of pain.
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:39 am
Girl on Fire 12 Theory Vale Hello, Dear! Another inspiring piece of work, I'm glad to report. And it flows extremely well, might I add... excepting, perhaps, the last line which seems just a tad wordy to me... maybe if you where to exclude the word of there? Oh well, just a very minor point, and a manner of opinion, actually. Otherwise, a very touching poem. I can just ... well, it might seem a bit odd, but i can feel the poem... or rather the emotion the poem was meant to evoke, I guess, might be a better way of putting it. My brother... used to cut himself. Thank god he stopped before it killed him, but I know what your talking about, here.That feeling... Thank you! I was debating on getting rid of the word 'of' when writing it but as you can see I decided to keep it. I'm sorry about your brother. I think we all go through a time in our lives like that or know someone close to us that is dealing with that sort of pain. Thank you for your sympathy, dear. Yes, I suppose we all have are hard times, don't we? One can only hope for someone to be there for us, to help us understand that we are not alone... Thank you.
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:29 pm
I really like this, it's very well written. Good job smile
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:34 pm
BlondHash I really like this, it's very well written. Good job smile Thank you very much 4laugh
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