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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:04 am
It all started of June 15, 2015. The fist case of the disease that destroyed the world. Zombies started to grow rampant in the next few days, because people didn't know what to do! Who could blame them though? Certainly not me I'm only alive because I ran faster than everyone else. My name is Christopher Allen, and I've been surviving for only a week, but this week has been hell. You can't make much of a noise louder than shouting or they hear you, but I suppose I don't have to worry about that being alone.
I'm in a suburban house in Alabama I think the town's name was Eufaula, but I'm running out of food and there are a lot of zombies out there. Tonight I'm going to have to find a new location. If someone finds this I'm going to be heading to the Baptist church by downtown. It's the big white one you can't miss it.
This is Chris Allen signing off.
(This is only the intro, and will probably go through a lot of changes before I'm happy with it, but please tell me what you think.)
Chapter 1 If I knew how many zombies their were I wouldn't have shot the gun. I was heading towards the church when a snuck up behind me. I would've been caught if it weren't for it's clumsiness. I shot it in a panic , and then the horde came to me. I ran as fast as I could I grabbed me by the leg, but before it could eat I took it out. the rest were closing in so I had to keep running. I barley in the church because two of the doors I tried to open were blocked. I finally found a side door not yet barricaded. Quickly I dragged the largest thing I could find to block the door. The zombies weren't happy that I escaped, and pounded restlessly on the doors and walls. I looked around for a weapon of some sort that didn't make as much noise as my pistol. There was no such luck after all I was in a building of God. I continued down the narrow hall carefully looking out for any hiding walkers. I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard the sobbing of a young man it sounded as if it came from upstairs. Cautiously I headed up the stairway there was no sign of anyone except blood stains. I as I got up the stair way there was another hallway. I started down the hallway the Sobbing was getting much louder. The hallway ended short as I came to the church's sanctuary. I saw two dead walkers before the door, and it looked as if someone had made their last stand here. Continuing into the sanctuary I found the young man. "Go Away you can't help me!" He said between the sobs. He was right he had a bite mark on his leg. being bitten is the easiest way for the disease to spread. He started to get up, and started limping away from me. "Wait." I told him. "I can help you "No! You can't! I'll just end up hurting you!" the sobbing started getting more intense. I didn't want to leave him here, but he did have a point. If I stayed with him, and he turned at a time I wasn't expecting my story would be over. Despite the fact I continued to convince him otherewise. "Just calm down" I told him grabbing his arms to get him to stop moving "What's your name? Where do you live?" "it.. It's Jake I live here in town.." it was good to keep him talking, because it got him to stop crying. "Okay Jake how did you end up here?" "When the first one came.. we came here to the church." Jake said looking off in the distance probably remembering the first day. "Come on lets get some rest" "ok" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the next morning I didn't see Jake, and there was a fresh blood stain heading out of the sanctuary. I was concerned for Jake he didn't ask for this no one did, and now he was turning into one of them. Following the bloodstain led me to a bathroom door I tried to open it, but it was locked. "Jake!" I screamed. I waited 3 minutes, but there was no reply. Desperately I pounded on the door screaming his name, but it was to late. I heard the moans from inside the room. The only survivor I had met since last week was gone now. I couldn't stay in the church after that not knowing that Jake died alone in a bathroom so I would be safe. There is a bridge leading across the lake. I will be crossing it in a few hours hopefully without troubles. If you have come looking for me I'm not here any more. Cross the bridge I'll be heading to the courthouse look for me there. Chris Allen Signing off.
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:54 am
Cool. I was never a big fan of the whole zombie apocolypse thing but this sounds good. You should check out this zombie roleplaying guild. I hate advertising but I honestly think it might help you with your book. Maybe you'll get some good ideas or something. Just a suggestion. Keep on writing!
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:33 pm
Just posted up the first chapter tell me how you like it.
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:30 pm
Its sounds pretty good but I do have some suggestions. You seem to be telling more than showing. You need to describe things more like the zombies or his surrounding or the wound on the guys leg. For example, you could say: The rotting skin of the slow moving zombies was crawling with hungry insects, all the more reason I wanted to run from them.
Also, I noticed some wrong capitolization or lack there of as well as some run ons. You might want to read through your stuff before posting. Just a friendly suggestion smile
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:05 pm
All right thanks for the suggestion I was rushing myself which I really shouldn't have, and I thought about the not describing, but I just find it hard. I will try though.
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Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:22 am
You seem to be omitting words. But overall its good. Cant wait for an update
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