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 Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:55 pm
Lately it seems like the people I care about just don't care about me as much.
Online friends don't ever IM me first. RL friends don't ever call me or visit me first. If I refrain from IMing/calling/visiting them, they're content to just never see or talk to me.
They always want to talk about themselves, their problems, etc. If I want to talk about my own problems, they change the subject or don't seem to care.
Today I realized that I'd rather have no friends at all than have one sided friends who don't care about me. But I keep mentally going back to the fact that when all is said and done, no one ever cares about me as much as I care about them.
This has been true my entire life. My mother constantly left to find herself and her own happiness. My eldest sister doesn't care about anyone other than herself, even her own child. My other sister cares more but not really. My dad is the one exception. My "best friend" irl "forgot" to give me her number when she changed it, pretended to care about me but didn't even invite me to her wedding (her wedding to my cousin, to be exact.)
My best friend online went off on me (which is rare for her) over a misunderstanding about where we planned to roleplay, and then ignored me for days and didn't even text or call on my birthday. Now she wants to talk to me and I can't forget how hurt I was. It festers in my heart like an infected wound and even though I'd like to talk to her like before, every time I try it's just awkward and it hurts. Every time she texts me I feel like things are different. I don't expect her to be perfect, but it seems like our friendship is different now.
So my questions are these:
How do I make friends who want a more two-way, equal relationship with me?
How do I stop being so depressed and feeling so worthless?
How do I make up with my friend?
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:36 pm
Hm... Well, it could just be that your friends have all been going through a lot and they aren't good at dealing with their problems as well as others, but I can't really say that without knowing how long you've felt unwanted. I don't really know how to tell you to make friends, you just have to look and hope you find good ones. I'll be your friend!
From my experience, people deal with depression in different ways /: I think, for you, a good thing to do would be to go out and try and make new friends. Don't lose connections with your old ones, but talking to some new people could help you feel better.
Fights with best friends can take a long time to heal... If you really are best friends you should tell her that you're still hurt from what she said, she should take it into her hands to really make it up to you.
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