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Kenneth Stacey T III Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:47 pm
.::.A LETTER ABOUT DRATINI.::. DAYUM Starts:: NOW
Ends:: Thurs. May 31st, Midnight PST
Word limit:: NONE
Do you like this little guy? well it's a girl. DO YOU WANT THEM?
Alright I'll let you have a chance for them but all you have to do is write me a letter. Yes I want a letter from you following the prompt that is given. Quote: A strange and rather gruesome looking Dragonite dropped a package off with you at the most inopportune place. Not like you could say no though, ya know how those delivery guys are. What’s even worse, it appears whatever is inside the package is alive, or was once alive. The package seems to be leaking some blood, and moving all at the same time. Might want to open it and see what’s in it? Oh and where were you exactly when ya got the package? What happened after ya opened it? Come on, write me a letter and tell me all the juicy bits!
Have fun!
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 8:07 pm
To the Keepers of the Dragonite Flight Delivery Service...
I... Can't decide whether to thank you, or flee in fright from the package I recieved the other day, going into a business lunch. I don't know who it came from, and there was no return address where I might send a letter of reciept.
The contents of this package were... Gorey, and needed a bath, but, somehow loveable and endearingly cute. The little creature has been quite the gem. My boss was less than happy with the addition to the luncheon's crew. I was told to throw it away and go wash my paws of it... So I left the luncheon.
... I no longer have a job.
The Dratini seems to be in some impaired shape, not that the dragonite was in much better form, before it growled at me and winged off again. Heavy tears in it's ear, tail, and left forepaw ooze a thick black liquid daily, while the cracked gem in it's little hed oozes like drool: A constant muck.
While it is obvious (To me) That this little creature is not normal, the Dratini pup does not seem to notice, and frolicks about like any other. She seems to particularly enjoy dancing on the dinner table, when we're trying to eat, shredding the curtains, and... Gods, but she is a master of the Begging. Perhaps the injuries add to those big, beautiful pools of crystal-porcelain when she sits just so, but I can't help but share most of my meals with her. As most of my meals have meat in them, I imagine that is why I'm still... Stable enough to write you.
Because of... A number of factors, I have come to the decision that this little Dratini is a... Slightly more undead thing than others I have seen, as has been alluded to above. The challenge of keeping it disinterested in my flesh as well as interested in other things has definately been a challenge. If it weren't for the thing's mild... Okay, rather potent Hydrophobia, I'd move to the ocean with a fishing rod and keep it's appetite maintained better.
... It is important to note: She does not like fish, either. About as well as she likes water, does she like fish... When she can identify it. (Canned Tuna is an easy placation when I don't have time to do more than Tuna Salad for the little beast.)
Anyways... Cordina appears to be hungry again, so... I'm going to go feed my zombie Dratini, then we'll curl up on the couch and watch one of those cartoons... Static Shock or something like that.
While I still can't decide whether to thank you or kill you... I appreciate the change the Dratini has brought with her. Perhaps you will hear from me again... And perhaps, I will simply keep her hungry for a few days and then let her loose in your back door. You have a doggy door, yes?
With Grace,
Ruhane Chiisai.
P.S.: I know where you live. Really. It's on the website. You should think about repairing that flaw in your self-protection plans, if you're going to pass out Zombies.
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:57 am
To Whom it may Concern....
What the bloody ******** is this?! No seriously... its bloody?! What the ********? You ruined 24 years of hard work and cleaning the way your "delivery man", who was also gushing blood all over my carpets, just busted all up in my house like a boss. Scared the s**t out of me.... fortunately I was on the toilet, because Mexican food is just horrendous on my innards, so you got off lucky there.
But back to business. The package you left me.... well it bit off two of my fingers. Expect to see a lawsuit in the mail some time after this letter. I can't own in Halo anymore because of this and I want some bitches to pay. Do you know how long my winning streak was? It was over 9000 man..... over 9000.
Oh thats not to mention the contents of the package seems to be damaged. Your delivery service could use a few adjustments..... I still don't know what to do with the tail tip that fell off the Dragonite. The little dratini wont give it up. She hisses and attempts to eat more of my flesh every time I try to take it away. At least label your boxes or something... you know... like... "CAUTION, FLESH EATING CREATURE INSIDE."
In any event, I suppose you expect me to keep this little "bundle of joy"? I just want you to know, I really have no choice in the matter, as I can't pick her up to re package her without risking the loss of my other good fingers. (At least I can still play pong ;-; ) But the next time you get the bright idea to randomly bust up my house and throw bleeding packages at my feet while I'm in the little ladies room..... at least knock first so I can pull up my panties.
Sincerely, Thanks, Piss Off,
Fea Line.
P.S. I want a refund.
P.S.S. Got anything a little more pink to match my shower curtains?
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:26 pm
The winner for this event is FEA LINE
Congrats! go post in the naming thread!
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Kenneth Stacey T III Vice Captain
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