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 Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:18 pm
QUEST FORM
Basics ::
xxxxxName: Maddox
xxxxxNickname(s): Dox, Mad (when he completely popped out of his calm bubble)
xxxxxFaction: Diamonds
xxxxxAge: Twenty - six
xxxxxHeight: 6’1”
xxxxxBody Type: Muscular and strongly built with broad shoulders and a narrow waist
xxxxxBlood Type: A
Poké-basics ::
xxxxxPokemon: Mudkip
xxxxxPokemon type: Water => Water/Ground
xxxxxNatural Ability: Torrent -- Water-type move, the power will increase by 1.5× if the user has less than or equal to ⅓ of its maximum HP remaining.
xxxxxPerma: No, will evolve
xxxxxMoveset:
Child - Mudkip
xx Water gun
xx Mud slap
xx Rock Smash
xx Foresight
Teenager - Marshtomp
xx Water pulse
xx Mud bomb
xx Take down
xx Rest
Adult - Swampert
xx Protect
xx Muddy Water
xx Earthquake
xx Hammer Arm
Personality ::
-"We’ve known each other for long so I always got your back." (( Social >> Loyal ))
Friendship is important to him and likes being around others. He is a social butterfly whenever he gets his head out of the clouds with those who have the same interests as he does or are fun people, but Dox is extremely close to those who accept him. He knows that he is a little . . . different; the way he speaks, thinks, and mannerisms and sometimes he can drive a person off the wall. And he heard it all for being basically called all the words of dumb if looked up in the thesaurus which hurts him right at the core even though he doesn’t show it. However, just to know that they don’t mind or really find nothing wrong with him . . . it makes Dox happy. After the time of knowing each other from that moment Dox steadily grows his faithfulness to them. It even makes this slow guy to be push into a fast pace action in order to help out if they are in a sticky situation. It’s sad to say that in a way (an unknowing way) he uses them like a security blanket just to help remind him that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. But still, people who sees him as something more and are loyal to the friendship makes him loyal in return.
-"So you want a skull with snakes, some bloody flowers, and then thorns wrapped around? Sounds cool!" ((Creative >> Driven))
That creative gene is hardwired in his system to full throttle. The guy has ideas of what comes into minds for its how he sees things around him. And pretty much a guy who likes to use his hands to make something out of nothing which some people might not be able to see it until it’s completed. It goes to his work if it’s a fun project that he puts all of his efforts in it to the tiniest detail until it’s completed to his likings. It’s good that he has the drive finish work although it does block others out of his mind when he’s in that mood but give him some time and he’ll be done. Now if only he has this when it comes to making those pretty delicate tea sets . . . well, he hates repeating the same work over and over again because once the idea is made it’s not the same the second time around.
-"Please~ Take all the time that you need so I’m perfectly fine waiting. “((Patient >> Leisurely))
He's such a calm and chill guy. It seemed that nothing really seems to bother him and his calm state of mind even while he works. Living in such a less strict life does make him a pleasant person to be around with and talk to as well has he could handle stress of things better than the norm. Although sometimes he could be a bit too relaxed and could slack off on things. His pace of life is just slower than others but it is more peaceful than others. But that's all it seemed to others when they meet him on the surface. After all, he has the word 'Mad' in his name and he can certainly be Mad in those 'certain' situations when his patience finally hits its point with some people who clashes with him. He can be a very pissed off man who is not afraid to get into fights and would be difficult to try and pin him down. It's just best to not bother him too much, keep on his good side, and never throw him off his groove.
-". . . . . hm? What did you say again? . . . . /blinks absentmindedly/" ((Dense >> Closed minded))
Okay, so he's not the brightest crayon in the box or the sharpest knife in the drawer than the others. He is just a bit slower to get certain things of what people may say to him, do, or notices things that could annoy people to death of his incompetence. Dox is just trapped in his own little world as his mind is constantly buzzing with random things. Sometimes it's work related with the creative ideas that he has in mind, the music he’s listening to constantly, and others is just wondering what's for dinner (okay, mostly that) but he just does things in his own pace and way which makes others misunderstand him a bit not like he’s some dumb country boy in the Diamonds. To get his attention would be difficult, like if someone has taken an interest in him for it does require a lot of work just to make him bat those pretty violet eyes at in curiosity. But, if someone really does catch his interest through that thick head of his then they must be very special.
-"Chisel, chisel . . . where did I put you? Hm, oh yeah, we’ll hang out later once I find . . . . . . . . what again?" ((Disorganized >> Irresponsible))
Within his mind he’s always thinking of different random stuff, ideas, and such which put his other priorities to one side. But while his home is just a huge nest of papers, colors, sketches, other mediums, and stuff littering everywhere, he still manages to find what he needs . . . eventually. Dox grew up with such chaos with his caretaker that it follows him all the way to adulthood that he forgot all sense of structure for he just close out all negative thoughts and distracts himself with other things in the present. He has little responsibility that makes things around him suffer such as being a letdown with his friends when meeting some place at the exact time. If someone has order an artwork of his then they need to be on constant check of Dox just so he can finish it on time and they should. From that storm of utter madness, the aftermath is this abstract work of art that makes it worth all the while. An example of his work (credit to Katsuyo Aoki)
xxxxxStrengths: Drawing, crafting, socializing, physical strength, dexterity
xxxxxWeaknesses: Focus (on certain things), complicated things, simple technology
xxxxxLikes: Naps, socializing, art, food, walking through the forest, lazy days, fighting
xxxxxDislikes: Loud/excessive talking, work days, his creations shatter, people calling him an idiot, peppers
xxxxxFavourite Food: He eats pretty much everything but a definite favorite is pizza.
xxxxxHobbies: Sculpting, drawing and sketching, music listening
xxxxxInterests: Playing an instrument and blacksmithing
xxxxxFaction Opinion: "Hm? Oh, the Diamonds are great. Nothin' bad ever goes wrong here so there's nothin' to worry about. I like to take life as easy as possible."
There are no fights, strife, or anything serious except for when the March hare has gone mad (or even more) and needs to create more pretty cups and plates but that's it. It's his home after all. He also likes the Clubs whenever he wants to have fun even though they are far too crazy to his taste with all the technology and bright lights. He's pretty adaptable and just goes with the flow of things as long as he sticks his head above water. Besides, he can't stop seeing his friends despite their factions; like his best friend Lace from the Hearts. He tends to brave through to the faction . . . or he's just that dense enough that it doesn't bother him when a blade flies right by him.
xxxxxAspirations: He really doesn't aim high for aspirations. Being the best Potter in Wonderland sounds nice but a little unrealistic if you think about it. Having his crafts lasting for a full day, 24 hours, is good enough for him or even just five minutes. Having others liking his work is also nice too.
xxxxxFears: He fears that his peaceful flow would be interrupted by some catastrophe if the Diamonds lose its neutral state. Losing his friends would be an even worse fate.
Employment::
xxxxxTitle: The Destructive Creator (so ironic |:)
xxxxxJob: Potter. Someone has to make all the porcelain and china plates and cups around here when there's endless tea party madness going on. He also makes intricate porcelain sculptures too just for the hell of it or if someone wants a sculpture of something. Dox charges extra then and the extra are very pricey. It does cost him to actually do more than the normal after all.
Appearance::
xxxxxHair: Cobalt blue kept around neck length with waves. Just like the toddler pic.
xxxxxEyes: Bright violet but turns to a deeper purple in adult stage.
xxxxxSkin tone: Medium tan
xxxxxPalette: This but I'm open minded to other color choices too; like the color on the band aids.
xxxxxClothing: Pretty casual really with some Asian twist to his clothes. Like hakama pants for example. Would like to have him with a sleeveless jacket or coat to show off his strong arms.
xxxxxAdditional: I would like for him to have band aids just because <3 That and also of his "friendly" fights with Lacey. Also keeping his orange headphones too theyareheadphonesright? >.>. His hands also have some scars too . . . and then dem guns he has = u = .
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 9:13 am
Things accomplished
- Edit up Disorganized personality and added in a little info of his artistic style to it in creating very abstract art pieces. Also included an example pic of what to expect because I like visuals <3
- Edit up Lax personality. Took out the absolutes of it and made it as though he seemed to be like that (but definitely not), elaborated a bit, and also explained a bit of the downfalls and exceptions to it. Dox can turn to be Mad Dox. And yes, I use that little bit from the Emperor's Groove ;D /shot/
- Changed Friendly to Loyal. Wrote out new description featuring more of his loyalty description.
- Patient personality fixed. Took out the absolutes and blended the information together to the best that I could think of at 2 in the morning. LOL
Things to do
- NEED TO THINK OF HIS DAMN TITLE!!!!! Erratic artist maybe? I dunno . . .
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 7:34 pm
Okay, heyo! I'm gonna talk about things in order, from top to bottom, so you can run on down it with me !
So I definitely see where you're going with Maddox, and I have a few suggestions to make that might make things runs a little more smoothly together.
Friendly – This strikes me right off the bat as the trait that presents the biggest problem. It looks to me like three traits slapped together into one super-positive trait. He treats everyone as a friend, so that's reasonable enough to say he's friendly, but you also include that he's loyal, 'unfailingly warm and generous,' and he's very quick to accept anyone for being unique. As nice as this is for Maddox, it really isn't all that balanced as a trait, and I don't quite see friendliness in it. You also use a lot of absolutes, which makes him seem a little unrealistic. I've very rarely met anyone in my life who consistently follows one principle with EVERYONE.
What I think you should try is omitting a bit about how loyal he is to his friends and how he accepts everyone, and replace it with what might be an exception to his friendliness. If he's too friendly, he might seem like a pushover, and that could be an interesting dynamic too, if you want to try it. See what you can think of.
Patient – This one's much better about staying on-task for the name of the trait, but you get a little bit lost telling me about another trait. You also use another absolute, you say he's ALWAYS PATIENT NO MATTER WHAT and that strikes me as a little odd because I've yet to see anyone hold their patience for the entirety of a hostile encounter, and I really doubt you're going to want to play someone who's ALWAYS PATIENT ALL THE TIME. I've just never known it to be fun. What I propose instead is to give him a very high threshold and tell what will really push him over the edge and ruin his patience. So like, if someone insults him, if someone really picks on him, if someone takes advantage of his friendliness, something that really can intensify why he's so patient all the time.
Also, I can definitely understand how this makes him sort of adaptable, but you don't really tie it together, and it just looks like two short traits put together. So what I suggest is to try to blend it together a little more, talk about how he can deal with situations for so long that he eventually figures it out from sheer trial and error, etc. Also, this can be another good time to include when he might lose his patience to give him a little more depth.
Lax – This meshes well with patience. I'll tell you again, though, I don't think it's a good idea to have NOTHING offend Maddox. I think it would do a lot for him depth-wise to make him capable of becoming upset. He doesn't have to get outwardly offended, that can be how his lax nature manifests itself, in his rather tepid reaction to becoming upset, but I think giving him that threshold will do him good.
Dense – This is honestly... this is my shining example for a trait. I may actually direct people to this in the future for exactly what I want to see. This is perfect. Don't change a thing. Use this as the template for fixing up the other traits I've told you to. This has got everything, the reasoning behind the trait, how it manifests, exceptions, all tied up in one cohesive package.
Disorganized – Once again, pretty damn well done. I don't really have any suggestions on improvements that I want to see, just a thought: Would his chaotic nature manifest at all in his pottery? Like, his style? Might be an interesting thought, and give him his own unique appeal that might make him popular with the artsy types.
Okay, so, wrapping up. I think to get this quest in really ship-shape order, you'd do well to eliminate absolutes, and start thinking about ways that Maddox might get upset or offended, where his last straw is.
Talk to me if you have any questions, otherwise, I'll see you next time you edit.
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 10:51 pm
Ready for round 2! And also if you want, you can quote the personality in to the guide to traits thread just so everyone can see an example of how you would like it to be. If they see an example of how it's written then the future profiles can be written better. Just a thought~
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 8:11 pm
Okay, here I am again!
Loyal – Okay, so we're throwing out friendliness and keeping loyal. I like this idea, we can roll with this, it's a stronger trait than friendliness. Now, we're getting closer to having this worked out, but I'm only seeing the description about half-transitioned into loyalty, and the rest seems to still be describing friendliness. You talk about how he likes to socialize, and how everyone around him is nice, and I don't really see how these relate to loyalty! At the same time, you say “he's just that loyal,” but I don't really see anything that describes HOW loyal he is. So what I'm going to suggest is this: Let's lose the parts that aren't talking about loyalty specifically, and let's replace those parts with some more description of how his loyalty manifests, and I'd like to see a little bit of explanation behind the trait, too! Why is he so loyal, and why do first impressions matter so much to him? Things to think on.
Patient – We're definitely getting better here. What I'd like you to include here is some talk about what happens in all the time “He sits back and watches the situation, thinks about it, and thus ... adapt to it,” because it's obviously an extended amount of time that he's going to be immobile whilst thinking. If I'm picking up his character correctly, I would think that he'd need to direct a great deal of his resources towards thinking such things out, and his patience is just something that makes it possible, right? Kind of like a savant, I'd guess? Give it a little thought.
Lax – Now I'm afraid I've mis-communicated, here, because I think you may have missed the point of what I was suggesting. In giving him an exception to his lax attitude, you've kind of turned away from actually describing how lax he is and turned instead to how mad he gets, and these two things, while related, don't belong together. My suggestion in the previous crit regarding this trait wasn't suggesting you place his upset directly into this trait, but rather as a general concept to be worked in throughout, and at this point, I think you've effectively communicated the point. This renders the second half of this description as sort of redundant, then. You may do well to slightly change it, then, to further describe how his slow and steady lifestyle can both help and harm him, and how it might be better to just leave him to his devices.
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 7:39 pm
Hi there~ Dropping off a crit here~
Loyal: Right now the trait, as it's written seems more like it should be 'social' or 'friendly.' Loyal can definitely be a result of such things, but I think a word adjustment might be good. When it comes to the last two lines, they don't fully feel like they belong with the rest of the description of the trait, so maybe try adding a lot of phrases saying 'Because he's this, he is also this.' It'll make it all seem more as if the traits are working together to make a bigger, encompassing trait.
Patient: This also has a bunch of little sub traits. Try picking the word that encompasses them all to cement the trait. Also, I believe his frustration can probably be moved to one of his negative traits, perhaps.
Lax: I think you may want to combine this with patient due to how similar they are. Think of trait that is equally good and bad that he has to replace this and it'll probably work out better for you.
Looks like Domi already liked the negatives so I won't go over those. I hope this helps~
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:45 pm
All right I basically redid everything of his quest <3
But I left his negatives the way it was so lets hope I got it right!
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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:02 pm
 You've been working on this long enough, I'm fairly certain the quest will play out fine xD;... So I'm just gonna approve it OTL Unless you have any questions for me in specific. xD;
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Reply
